Birth Control Advice for 16 yr. old

[dovey]

My 16 yr old cousin has had a rough few years. Her mom just died in March from cancer.

Just before her mom passed on, she met her current boyfriend, who is older (19), and apparently is very sweet and supportive to her.

Her dad found a pregnancy test in her room recently, and she told him that it was for a friend. He believes this, and is sort of in the dark about her sexual activity, thinking that she and her boyfriend are platonic.

My mom (her aunt) was thinking of bringing her some birth control, and she was asking me if I knew what might be best for my cousin. Condoms, I'm thinking, rather than a hormonal method??? Plus maybe some cycle beads so that she is aware of her fertile times?

I know the pill or depopravera might be more effective, percentage-wise, but I've heard so many horror stories about what they do to people's bodies, especially when they want to have their own children a little later in life.

What do you think the best option for a monogamous teen is?

[Satori]

Honestly I'd say the pill a her age plus condoms.

[mtiger]

I'd have to say the pill or depo as well. Plus condoms.

[alllyssa]

Isn't a 19 year old having sex with a 16 year old statutory rape?

[CarrieMF]

I would avoid hormonal bc, especially depro or the ones that cause no period at all.

Sit her down & talk to her about the options for non-hormonal bc, teach her about using TCOYF to avoid pregnancy with the importance of condoms to prevent stds.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by alllyssa

Isn't a 19 year old having sex with a 16 year old statutory rape?

In some states 16yr olds can legally consent. Not that it's anyone's business in this case :


-Angela

[alegna]

I'd offer condoms and the sponge and a lot of friendly education in case she would like something different.

-Angela

[AngelBee]

I would suggest condoms if they are going to continue sexual activity.

: I am so sorry about her loss.

[BelgianSheepDog]

Cycle beads are basically like a modified "rhythm method," they'd only come close to working if her cycles are extremely regular, like clockwork AND she's got enough background in FAM that she'd know if her ovulation date seemed to shift. It doesn't seem a good option for a 16 year old.

I say condoms, cheap, OTC, also prevent STDs.

[UnschoolnMa]

I would go with condoms, and maybe the pill...but I am not a huge fan of that idea. Condoms.

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

I believe that each partner needs to do their part in pregnancy and std prevention so therefore I believe that she should consider a low hormone bcp and he should be supplying the condoms.

I was a teen mom...I should never have relied only on one method of bc.

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by StrugglingMomX's2

I believe that each partner needs to do their part in pregnancy and std prevention so therefore I believe that she should consider a low hormone bcp and he should be supplying the condoms.

:! Plus, (none of our business again but) who says she's monogamous? In case she's not, she should have more than one method to rely on.

And, although I'd hate to be the one to do this, someone really should clue her dad in on the fact that, uh, she just might be having sex! I mean, it's pretty hard for a dad to believe his little girl is *doing it*, but he has to wake up and get a clue now, or the first time it will cross his mind will be when she comes home PG, whether now or in the future.

[jennnk]

They should be using two forms of birth control, just in case. Condoms at least, but also a diaphragm and/or easily-stopped hormonal method (i.e. pill or ring, not shot or implant or IUD). She also needs to learn the signs of ovulation and avoid during those times, and pulling out might be a good idea, as an added precaution, even though they're using barriers and/or hormones. I have a set of friends who are now married but were living together for a long time before that. They still aren't ready to start a family so they're using FIVE contraceptive methods - condoms, diaphragm, birth control, pulling out, AND fertility awareness method. The chances of her getting pregnant are somewhere in the vicinity of .00003%, so basically NIL.

[veganf]

Absolutely condoms. Plus a low-dose pill if she's interested in trying it.

[annamama]

I'd make her aware of condoms and a low-dose pill too...

[kathywiehl]

Honestly, I'd recommend Depo. I took it and had no problems with it, and if I'd have been on it as a teen, I might not have been a teen mom. I was on the pill and forgot to get my prescription refilled and before I knew it was pregnant. I was (and still am) too forgetful to take the pill every day at the same time, condoms run out and get forgotten at home. I was on depo for years after having my first daughter. No, I didn't get my period and maybe I did gain some weight, but I turned out to be very fertile when the time finally was right to have more children. I get pregnant now on the first try every time. I know it's not right for some people, but if you really want to be sure this child doesn't get pregnant, depo is probably the surest bet.

[Charliemae]

at 16 she is old enough to choose her birth control method. The method is not as important as that she is using one. If you/ your aunt are really worried then you should just talk to her about birth control. I wouldn't patronize her by bringing her condoms and assuming she's not using them, for all anyone knows she is. In all honesty I pretty much have thought I was pg. every cycle since the day I started my period So to me a prg. test dosen't suggest that there's no BC being used YKWIM?

So I would talk to her like an adult. Ask her what she's using, and if she's interested in other forms of bc. If she says she's not sexually active then I would still talk to her about BC options honestly both the good and bad of each. Tell her you're more then happy to help her get whatever her chosen method is if she needs it. And once she has the information then it's up to her to use it, and everyone has to accept that.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Charliemae

In all honesty I pretty much have thought I was pg. every cycle since the day I started my period So to me a prg. test dosen't suggest that there's no BC being used YKWIM?

Agreed.

So I would talk to her like an adult. Ask her what she's using, and if she's interested in other forms of bc.

yes -- she needs an adult woman she can talk to, may be get some help from. She doesn't need to be told what to do. What form of birth control to use is VERY personal and it isn't up to you to chose. However, she may have questions or concerns, or there may be a form she would like to try but doesn't currently have access to and you could help with that.

I took the pill for over a decade, and while it did screw up my body a little bit, the impact was far, far smaller than an unwanted pregnancy would have been. I have no doubt that it was the right choice for me at the time. It was the form of bc I was the most comfortable with, and it worked well for me.

[momma-d]

Originally Posted by Charliemae

at 16 she is old enough to choose her birth control method. The method is not as important as that she is using one. If you/ your aunt are really worried then you should just talk to her about birth control. I wouldn't patronize her by bringing her condoms and assuming she's not using them, for all anyone knows she is. In all honesty I pretty much have thought I was pg. every cycle since the day I started my period So to me a prg. test dosen't suggest that there's no BC being used YKWIM?

So I would talk to her like an adult. Ask her what she's using, and if she's interested in other forms of bc. If she says she's not sexually active then I would still talk to her about BC options honestly both the good and bad of each. Tell her you're more then happy to help her get whatever her chosen method is if she needs it. And once she has the information then it's up to her to use it, and everyone has to accept that.

ITA! She's at a point where she can decide for herself, with a bit of help to go through all of the different BCs thouroghly...as well as a caring aunt to provide an open and non-judgemental ear when she needs it

[xixstar]

my suggestions tag on with Diana's... she is certainly old enough to consider the options available to her and pick something that she thinks will work. A good nurse practitioner or gyn should also have lots of advice.

I'd suggest bringing information on the different types of birth control out there and having an open discussion about the options.

Methods I would discourage: deprovara, fertility awareness, and certain bc pills. Depo has some pretty harsh side effects and long term effects after stopping it. I'd only consider it for someone never interested in having children and 16 is is a bit too young for that choice. Also, the fertility awareness method (as outlined in the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book) is probably too labor intensive for a young teen and teen's cycles are often unpredictable for several years to trust it. Try the book Cycle Savvy (by the author of TCOYF) and it talks about how we can be aware of our fertility but also recommends young teens use another method of bc. Also, avoid the bc pills that are on a 3 month cycle -- while having a period only once every 3 months may sound like a good idea to a teen, I wouldn't recommend it for her personal physical health.

I would suggest: a low-hormone birth control pill if possible or maybe she'd be interested in something like the nuvaring or patch (I'm assuming these are still available) since they don't need daily reminders to take a pill. I would also heavily push always, always using condoms with birth control -- safe sex isn't just about preventing babies.

Try if you can to get the point across that even if she feels she is in a safe, monogamous relationship, she should always use condoms.
The risks are too high otherwise and many times she or her partner may have an STI/STD and not even know about it.

Good luck, I'm glad she has caring family members around willing to discuss these options.