Anyone else turn to AP as their kids got older?

[wfuteach]

I am new to AP. In fact, I am embarassed to say that I didn't even know it existed or what it was until a few months ago. I sort of parented by watching friends and family, and felt pulled in lots of different directions, never finding something that felt right to me. I felt that I wasn't a consistent parent, and that I really didn't know what I was doing.

After our move abroad, I have realized more about what kind of mom I want to be, and have been better trying to meet the needs of my girls. I think it's also been helpful to be away from the "helpful" and "watchful" eyes of some family and friends who did things so differently than I find myself doing them now, kwim? For me to find my own way as a parent (with DH, of course).

Anyway, it's been sort of a struggle to find a balance in the kind of mom I want to be now, and I wondered if I was the only one who has sort of changed their parenting MO as their kids have gotten older (mine are almost 3 and 15 months now).

Is there still time to change? Positive outcomes to follow? A way to find a balance in what kind of mom I want to be?

This is sort of rambling...anyone know what I am getting at?

[Imogen]

I understand completely where you're coming from Although I had certain ideas of how I wanted to parent before my son was born... the whole homebirth, non-vacc, slinging approach wasn't something which I considered. I wanted to give birth in a hospital, and considering the difficulty of that birth, I am pleased that I did. However, I wouldn't rule out homebirth in the future (Not that I plan on getting pregnant again).

Anyway, there's nothing that I can do to change the past. But I have certainly become more natural family living and gentle discipline as my son has gotten older. He's 3.5 now. It's not been easy, especially with the gentle discipline because I was carrying a lot of issues from my own childhood. But I strive to improve on a daily basis. I would say that my parenting combines a little of everything, gentle discipline to consensual living etc. I try to live in an environmentally friendly lifestyle when my budget allowes (although even here there can be room for improvement).

To me, it's all about progression, not perfection. My advise would be to enjoy your parenting journey and don't be too hard on yourself if you don't live up to your expectations once in a while, you are afterall human.

Peace

[Jen_in_NH]

I think how you parent changes as you go. When my son was born 4 months ago, I had plenty of ideas of how things were going to be. Most of them have changed already.

Before he was born, I hadn't even heard of AP parenting. I didn't read any of the "How to parent" kind of books. I stumbled across the AP part just looking for info on cloth diapering.

Anyways, I think if you do what feels right for your kids, then go for it.

Jen

[CheapPearls]

I'm right there with ya. Mine are 3 and 18 months and I and fairly new to AP parenting and still working out what is best for us. I think it's never too late to start, life changes all the time and it makes sense that your parenting style would change with it.

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

Well I'm starting late...very late as my kids are 16 and 4.5! I was in two different relationships with men (jumped out of the frying pan into the fire) that did not support pretty much anything I wanted to embrace let alone a more gentle parenting approach so therefore I fell into a totally dysfunctional rut which was HIGHLY mainstream. So here I am now in the process of getting a divorce, seeking therapy for myself to get my head back on for me AND the kids, along with trying desperately to pick up the pieces of my broken family. So I have realized that this is where the kids and I need to be...this is where I honestly believe that *my* natural parenting tendencies lie….FINALLY.
So I for one hope that it's *not too late*! I do struggle daily to put into reality what I feel in my heart and to me that’s still really sad.