Helping DD love doing art again

[Stella_luna]

Oh, mamas, my DD is struggling, and I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. She used to love painting, drawing, doing any kind of art at all (in fact, last year, she had an art birthday party, where the kids did all sorts of patinting and crafts). But in the last few months, she's completely stopped drawing and painting. She absolutely refuses to do it, because she says she's not a good artist. She has told me on a few occasions that since Daddy's art is so much better (her father is a professional artist), hers is terrible. This is getting very serious---she refuses even to draw smiley faces, or ANYTHING, anymore. She has NO confidence and gets no pleasure from painting or drawing anymore. When I try to convince her to do art with me, she starts crying, and insists she's so terrible at art that she never wants to do it again. I've talked to her over and over about the joy in simply doing art (and we never talk in this house about the inherent value of a piece, just the joy of creating), but it's like talking to a brick wall. She is totally obstinate. In preschool, her teacher was constantly praising her for how good her art was (she is really a good artist, although we are very careful to focus on the process not the product), and I'm worried this may have harmed her confidence.

It might be our fault, too. She used to love painting so much that we set up a spare bedroom as an art sudio for her & Daddy, and gave her a bookcase to keep all her art supplies in and her own little corner of the room. We have a lot of her art hanging in frames all over the house. Could this be too much pressure on her? I really just thought she would enjoy having her own space to create, but did it backfire? Then again, if I take it away now, or take her pictures down, I feel like she'll be reinforced in thinking, and feel that it's because she's a bad artist.

Mostly, I want her to stop dichotomizing into "good" and "bad" art, and just love creating again.

Please, I hope someone can help. I'm starting to worry that she needs a psychiatrist. It's that bad.

[greeny]

I worry about the fine line between encouraging and pressuring too. I'm sorry she's stopped doing something she loves because she thinks she's not good enough. I wouldn't blame yourself, though, for praising her or for setting up her own art room. (Then again, I'm not an anti-praiser, and others may disagree.)

Maybe get her some new art supplies? Enlist her help to teach a younger child (neighbor, friend's kid, etc.) how to use paints or markers or what not? Maybe move away from drawing and painting and work on other crafts for awhile? Go to Michaels and let her pick out some cook new stuff to work on?

Or just forget totally about art and crafts for awhile and let her do other things that make her happy, like soccer or ballet or playing with dolls.

I'm sorry you're so worried, and I'm sorry she sounds so sad about the art. I hope you find something that works.

[sebandg'smama]

When my ds was about 5 he went through that where he refused art. He said that what he saw in his head was not what was on the paper. He was frustrated. I backed way off, left all his craft supplies accessible and after about a year he went back to making things.

[lilyka]

is there perhaps another type of creative smething she can do? perhaps knitting or soemthing? Some people just are not into the process especially if it doesn't produce the result they want. I am not and neither is my middle child. We both prefer things either very temporary (playdough or blocks) or things that make a useful objects (knitting or sewing). No atter what we both start with something inmind and het totally frustrated if we are unable to produce it.

also for my middle child addressing it from an academic perspective helps. teching her art ratgher than handing her brushes and paint and telling her whatever comes out of it is good. No instructions, no teaching and no objective would be enough to levae her sobbing in a heap (eeee gads . . me too). but sending her to an art class where art is looked at accademically and as a skill everyone can learn to do well really helps her. Perhaps a class to help her build her skills would be helpful. Some kids just like to know what thier plan is and like to learn the skill to reach that goal. Somep people are more about the finished project than the process. And that is ok. I make art because I have something in my mind that I need to see in a more concrete way. or I fashion beautiful but practical things. Both of these need a set of skills and it would be extremely frustrating to not be able to do them right because there is a right way to make a wash cloth or a diaper or a right way to draw the picture in my head. I see no point for me to create just for the sake of creating. that would bore me and seem like a waste of time and materials (I am not saying it is bad but it would make no sense to me and wouldn't be fun or fulfilling for me). Maybe your dd feels similarly. she is old enough to know that people paint what they see (either in the world or in their head) and that she does not have the skill to do it. yet everyone keeps telling her to without giving her the skills.

ask her what she wants. what kind of art she wants to do. what would she do if she could do it exactly how she wanted? what does she need to make art like she wants? would she like to learn something new? take a class? make something specific?

[Doodadsmom]

Originally Posted by lilyka

is there perhaps another type of creative smething she can do? perhaps knitting or soemthing?

Maybe you could find something 'artsy' that you and DH don't have any experience in, and you could learn it together, or it could be just her thing.

Have you read 'Playful Parenting'? I've just started, but I think some of the info in the book might be useful for this type of situation.

[mommy2abigail]

Awww, that sounds so hard! I dont know if it would be the right thing for your little one, but I would try to back off completely from anything art. Just stop suggesting it to her at all. Leave the things where she can get to them, especially in private. Maybe make her a secret hiding desk using a small closet or something like that. It doesn't have to be FOR art, but it can be a place she can go if she decided to do some art. HTH