What should I do with this money?

[Ruthla]

My ex husband is nearly 2 months behind on child support, and that's my only source of income right now. He's been giving me $20 here, filling my gas tank there, and he gave me $80 on Friday. He's currently unemployed and trying to borrow money- so there's no guarantee he'll be able to give me any more money soon.

I'm in no physical condition to get a job right now. I've applied for SSI, and it's currently in its 2nd appeal. I'm praying that I'm approved.

My parents gave me $100 for my birthday, and I've spent about $20 of it at the thrift store to get some clothes that actually fit me- almost everything in my closet was too big.

I currently have a bank account balance of negative $185. And I have $160 in my wallet. I only have $50 in Food Stampst to last me until September 7th, so I'm going to need to use some cash to buy food. I also need to get a few non-food items this month- parchment paper, nutritional supplements, epsom salts- certainly nothing extravagant but my household supplies are running low because I didn't buy any of this stuff last month either. I'm already relying on my Mom's generousity to get the kids "back to school" items such as school supplies and new shoes.

Even if I put all my cash into the bank it wouldn't bring my balance up to zero. Actual cash in my wallet can be spent on household necessities and food. I don't even know if the bank will accept a partial deposit since they've already closed the account. At this point I'm just hoping I can reopen the same account and not need to get new checks.

So should I use all my cash for necessities? Put it all in the bank and do without other stuff? Put some in the bank? How much?

[polyhymnia]

I would use it for necessities, to be totally honest. Food comes first, in my opinion.

I am sorry you are struggling

[phathui5]

Use the cash for necessities. The bank can wait.

[PajamaMama]

You can ask your bank to forgive your debt if it is all a bunch of overdraft fees. They might say no, but then again they can't say yes if you don't ask. When I was in my early 20's I worked at a credit union helping people resolve account issues and I had a lot of discretionary power. I generally was allowed to give everyone one 'freebie'...

From that job I can tell you that if your account has been closed you won't be able to open a new checking account until you resolve it. Your info will be reported to a company that keeps track of institution-closed accounts, and when a person tries to open an account anywhere that database is checked to see if the applicant has had any accounts closed on them by other institutions.

When you do pay the debt, you probably will not be able to keep the same account. You would need to order new checks. If this is the case, and your bank won't offer you forgiveness anyway, I would highly recommend opening your new account at a credit union. Most offer the same services a bank offers, like online banking, debit cards, etc but they have lower fees and are much smaller, so you can get to personally know the people you're banking with and if you ever have another crisis it can be easier to deal with someone you know than a voice on the phone.

Many hugs and best wishes resolving this issue. I would keep the money you have now for essentials and fix the bank problem later...the damage has already been done. I would *call* the bank right away though and try to work something out, even if it's just 'I'll send you $5 a week until it's paid off' is better than nothing.

[mysticmomma]

food pantry

[MissMommyNiceNice]

Can you try someone like Catholic Charities? They often give small loans to help fix things...around here they do up to $300, I think.

I hope your issue resolves soon. Good luck, momma!

[averysmomma05]

Originally Posted by crayolaab

I would use it for necessities, to be totally honest. Food comes first, in my opinion.

I am sorry you are struggling

:

[averysmomma05]

Originally Posted by phathui5

Use the cash for necessities. The bank can wait.

I agree they can wait

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by PajamaMama

You can ask your bank to forgive your debt if it is all a bunch of overdraft fees.

It"s not just overdraft fees- it's also checks and echecks they put through even though there wasn't money to cover them. Besides, they have policy that they'll only remove one overdraft fee per calendar year, which I've already taken advantage of this year.

Originally Posted by mysticmomma

food pantry

Too many food allergies and sensitivities. I'm not going to make myself sick just to save $100.

I spent some of the money today in Trader Joe's, saving the food stamps to use later in the month. I think I'll skip the trip to the bank until I have enough to pay off the entire debt and open a new account.

[KatWrangler]

Mama.

I will send positive thoughts your way. Things WILL get better.

[AngelBee]

Ruthla How do you do it?

Dominick's bio dad rarely pays child support. If it was not for Rich coming into our lives, I do not know where we would be right now.

I can not imagine what you are going through.

[AngelBee]

:

[LankyLizards]

Let the bank wait. I would talk to them, though and see if they will keep your account open until you can pay. I'm not sure how long they usually wait before just closing it. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Sending many e-hugs your way!

[Ruthla]

I think the account is still open because I got a letter from the bank telling me another check bounced and they charged me a fee. Stupid me forgot to cancel the automatic payment for the phone bill!

I spoke to my ex today and he said he's liquidating an investment and looking for a job. He's hoping to have the money by the end of the week or early next week. Sure, that's when September's CS will be due, but he'll only be able to pay me for July and August. Still, that will be enough to get me out of this current mess and he'll pay me the rest once he's working. And I'll be careful to budget what he does give me so I don't get into this kind of mess again before he's able to get back on top of regular CS payments.

I'm also praying I get approved for SSI this time. That would take SO MUCH pressure off!

[AngelBee]

What does he expect you to be doing?

That is what I do not get about the bio dad's/ex's sometimes. What do they expect YOU to do while waiting for him to get his crap together?

Makes me so angry!

[justmama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Too many food allergies and sensitivities. I'm not going to make myself sick just to save $100.

I spent some of the money today in Trader Joe's, saving the food stamps to use later in the month. I think I'll skip the trip to the bank until I have enough to pay off the entire debt and open a new account.

Here's my thought Ruthla. You qualify for food stamps. Do you qualify for TANF? Or do you not qualify because of SSI? You aren't recieving SSI anyway so is it possible to drop that case and get TANF? Usually when you qualify for food stamps you qualify for TANF too and medical and wic(which you probably can't use because you keep kosher, right? I think I remember reading something about that.), and all those services. And even though you have food allergies and sensitivities maybe the food pantry could help with little things here and there. A can of beans, a can of tomato sauce, etc. Donate back whatever you can't use. Just a thought. I would look into seeing if you qualify for other services because we were on fs for a while and though we didnt' take it, we qualified for just about every service provided in our state. My daughter will be getting free breakfast and lunch at school again this year so that's a huge weight off my mind! I know she'll eat well at least 2 meals a day if I can't provide them(I try hard to do breakfast together as a family every morning, just me and the kiddos sitting and eating and me enjoying a cup of coffee before the rush out the door).

[justmama]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

What does he expect you to be doing?

That is what I do not get about the bio dad's/ex's sometimes. What do they expect YOU to do while waiting for him to get his crap together?

Makes me so angry!

I too get angry at that situation because I've been there with my older daughter's dad. He's such a piece. . . . . .
BUT it doesn't sound like this guy is like that. I mean, he's trying right? He's handing her money when he gets it, he's filling her gas tank, so he's at least giving something. He's trying to hold up his end of the bargain. I don't know, maybe he's a jerk. But it seems in the posts like he's handing her whatever he can with plans to pay what he owes when the money comes through. If that's the case, you gotta respect that. Doing the best with what he has.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by justmama

I too get angry at that situation because I've been there with my older daughter's dad. He's such a piece. . . . . .
BUT it doesn't sound like this guy is like that. I mean, he's trying right? He's handing her money when he gets it, he's filling her gas tank, so he's at least giving something. He's trying to hold up his end of the bargain. I don't know, maybe he's a jerk. But it seems in the posts like he's handing her whatever he can with plans to pay what he owes when the money comes through. If that's the case, you gotta respect that. Doing the best with what he has.

I hope he is trying.

I may have personalized my feelings a bit based on ds1 bio dad :

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by justmama

Here's my thought Ruthla. You qualify for food stamps. Do you qualify for TANF? Or do you not qualify because of SSI? You aren't recieving SSI anyway so is it possible to drop that case and get TANF? Usually when you qualify for food stamps you qualify for TANF too and medical and wic(which you probably can't use because you keep kosher, right? I think I remember reading something about that.), and all those services.

We don't get WIC anymore because my oldest child is over 60 months old- we stopped getting it the month of his 5th birthday.

We don't qualify for TANF because of the child support- he's never quite late enough that I could go apply for TANF and get money from them before he gets his act together and pays me. I wouldn't dare drop the SSI case because TANF has a maximum length of time you can be on it (4 or5 years I think) and SSI is unlimited, plus if I'm ever approved I'll get back pay from my initial date of application 2 years ago. Anything I were to get from TANF would have to be repaid if SSI is approved, but I would have back pay from SSI if that happened so that wouldn't really be a problem. I guess that's my backup plan (apply for TANF) if ex doesn't pay me by the time school starts.

We do qualify for free school lunches, but the Jewish day school DS is going to (on full scholarship) doesn't participate in the Federal School Lunch program- I'm not yet sure about the middle school where DD1 will be. It's the same organization as DS' school, but a different physical building and a different cafeteria. Even if they were in public school, I wouldn't accept the free lunches because they're not kosher.

We don't qualify for free childcare because I'm not working, or rent assistance because I don't pay rent, or help with utility payments because I don't pay for utilities except for phone. I already have Medicaid for the whole family and the discounted phone plan because we get Medicaid.

[justmama]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

I hope he is trying.

I may have personalized my feelings a bit based on ds1 bio dad :

I can relate. My older daughter's dad is like that too. Piece of. . . . . . . . . . .poopie!