Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus... Lying?

[AllisonR]

On another thread someone posted they don't do the Tooth Fairy, because they consider it lying to their DC. I respect their decision, but I am the complete opposite. Little white faries swirling around my bed, how sweet.

I have fond memories of Santa Claus from my childhood. I hope my DCs believe in Stanta for many years to come. If my DCs get joy out of believing that Santa will come down the chimney or the tooth fairy will take their tooth for a silver coin and give it to some other young baby, then I am all for it.

What's your take on fantasy figures - a lie, a white lie, go for it...?

[Sharlla]

Nope, we don't. We don't celebrate xmas or easter anyway.

[oceanbaby]

I believe it is a lie, and Santa Claus is the only lie I have told to my child. So my answer is that we do Santa Claus and I think it is a lie. I feel conflicted about it, but there it is.

We don't do the Easter Bunny, and ds1 has yet to lose a tooth, but he has already mentioned the tooth fairy to me, so I don't know what I will do about that.

[ckberkey]

It's a lie. We do lots of pretending, but I am not going to intentionally mislead my children. The whole idea of ppl you don't know coming into your house creeps me out, too. Other ppl doing Santa & stuff doesn't bother me. It just doesn't work for me and the way I parent.

[mommy2abigail]

I checked the wrong choice. I believe they are a form of lying and we will not be misleading our children by pretending they are real. Plus santa and the Easter bunny do not mesh with our Christian beliefs. We will certainly tell the story, especially or St.Nicholas, since it is a wonderful example of human caring and giving. However we will explain that the 'santa' of our day is not real and it's just a story some people choose to tell their children. We do not want the spirit of the season or the true meaning of the holiday's to be confused with old men and reindeer or bunnies bringing tons of gifts.:

[erin_d_a]

Well I guess part of why I'm not going to do it is because it is lying, but it isn't the whole reason. I'm a Christian and I don't want the celebrations of my religions biggest holidays to be focused on anything but Jesus. I think we'll still visit santa at the mall and color eggs because I don't want my kids to be the freaks who don't get to see santa, but I want to remind them that Santa is just a symbol, instill in them the story of St. Nicholas, and that Jesus is why we celebrate Christmas. I also plan when they are older to tell them about the true history of Christmas, why it is when it is, the pagan traditions that have been incorporated also.

I remember when I was a kid it destroyed an already shaky faith in my mother when I found out the truth.

[aussiemum]

Yes, our family traditionally does the ritual of tooth fairy, santa, etc.

athough this year both our kids are older & really in on the whole 'secret-side' of life. I think we will have to explain the deception to the kids this year......


And actually, I'm guessing that they will likely find it a fun-crazy part of real ife......

[mamazee]

Yes, but my daughter has figured out that they're pretend. It started with the Easter Bunny. Bunnies don't lay eggs. And certainly not plastic eggs. And "Peter Cottontail" is a boy's name, and boy bunnies wouldn't lay eggs even if bunnies did lay eggs. LOL. She said she knows they're pretend but still likes to "play the game".

[lisalou]

We do it. But it's done in the same spirit as my dd's imaginary friend Sissy who drives dd's white car named Harvey to pick her up to go to the shiny ice cream cake house. Or dd's imaginary husband named Ween, she (yes she) lives in Kenya. Basically as an exercise in imagination and the encouraging of good works done anonymously.

[calidarling]

We're not there yet as ds is not even a year, but while I dont believe them to be trust harming lies (for me it never was at least), I do believe that they have no place in the way dh and I would like to raise our children.

I feel that such things can be pretend and fun without telling children that they are real. Hey, even I still like to pretend

A big turn off factor for us is the commercialisation that such characters represent.

We still have not decided what traditions will fit our family, though I have seen some great ideas on here.

MIL is going to flip when we tell her no santa

[WhaleinGaloshes]

I voted 'other' as I think it's possible to 'do' Santa and the EB etc. without lying or pretending they're real. In my house growing up we had many cherised traditions involving Santa but never did I beleive that he was a real figure. I do not hope that my daughter ever believes that Santa Claus is actually a man who will come down the chimmny, but I do hope she expierences the joy surrounding Christmas and Santa Claus that I always have.

[lisac77]

Originally Posted by easy_goer

I voted 'other' as I think it's possible to 'do' Santa and the EB etc. without lying or pretending they're real. In my house growing up we had many cherised traditions involving Santa but never did I beleive that he was a real figure. I do not hope that my daughter ever believes that Santa Claus is actually a man who will come down the chimmny, but I do hope she expierences the joy surrounding Christmas and Santa Claus that I always have.

I like this answer! I do believe that if you are intentionally misleading your child, that is lying.

That said, my son loves the character Santa Claus (I mean, he is pretty much everywhere at Christmas), but I have never reinforced that he is a real person. I don't necessarily disavow his beliefs in other fictional characters either, but I would never go out of my way to convince him that Santa Claus is a real person.

[elmh23]

I voted "No, it's a lie" and "No, for some other reason."

We wont' do the tooth fairy because it's a lie. Fairies stealing my teeth to take to other kids is kinda freaky to me!

We don't do Santa or the Easter Bunny because of religious reasons. We're Catholic and choose to focus on the actual reasons for the holiday over the fictional characters (we do St. Nicholas Day on December 6 with a new set of pajama's and some candy adn maybe a small toy.)

[momz3]

Originally Posted by elmh23

I voted "No, it's a lie" and "No, for some other reason."

We wont' do the tooth fairy because it's a lie. Fairies stealing my teeth to take to other kids is kinda freaky to me!

We don't do Santa or the Easter Bunny because of religious reasons. We're Catholic and choose to focus on the actual reasons for the holiday over the fictional characters (we do St. Nicholas Day on December 6 with a new set of pajama's and some candy adn maybe a small toy.)

I selected no for the very same reasons. At any age, we don't feel its necessary to lead children into beleiving something that isn't true. I was heart broken as a child when I found out santa wasn't real.

[bellymama]

i don't think its a lie to tell stories and myths and legends...i loved that stuff when i was little and i feel like it would have robbed me of the magic of being a little kid and having the faith to believe in that stuff. i don't feel like i have to make sure they believe it or anything, and if they were extremely inquistive i would probably explain to them how a lot of times fairy tales, legends, stories etc are symbolic...but that the magic is real. i believe that to be true, so i don't think it is a lie.
when i found out my parents were doing all that stuff i wasn't upset at them and i certainly didn't think they lied to me, i was happy that they created magic in my life for me. its a boring world with out a little imagination and magic, so i appreciated them going out of their way to make my life fun and magical. i would actually be pissed if they had been like, sorry B, we don't want to mislead you or lie to you, there is no santa or tooth fairy,. i would have been saying: "LIE TO ME!!!!!!!" i like magic! i like fantasy.
but again, i wouldn't INSIST on it being true if the kid was saying:"ok, seriously, its not true right?"...so i guess there is an exception.

[NoHiddenFees]

I voted "other." We do Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but in a fairly tongue-in-cheek way. However, we keep it low key enough that the girls can decide to believe or not (and waffle as much as they please), as their flights of fancy run.

[incorrigible]

.

[wannabe]

We do father christmas and the tooth fairy, we don't do jesus or electricity fairies.

[*Aimee*]

We were just talking about this! DH's family did Santa but always new it wasnt true. My family did Santa but I was told about it in a very horrible way but a very horrible drunken step dad at the age of 4 and that has stuck with me a while. We've decided not to lie to our kid(s) about Santa or Easter bunny or whatever. But we'll still play make believe. My husband explained it to me like this: "when I was little I *knew* I couldnt really fly, but I had a great time pretending". I dont want to take away the childhood fun of fantasy and make believe but I wont lie either.

I almost feel bad for some kids. My cousins ( they are 8 and 6) get so scared every year. They have some thing you can look up online that tells you where Santa is and his estimated arrival at your house. So they would be crying begging their parents to leave because if they missed Santa he might not ever come back. It ruined the entire Christmas party for them. Whenever they figure something else out that doesnt quit make sense another lie is formulated to trick them into believing just one more year. I dont think I could do that.

[delfin]

I voted no some other reason, because I think you can have magic in your world that comes from a place of your own, not some idea made to sell more toys. Where im from, christmas is in the summer, so the idea of a guy heavily dressed traveling trough the air with the deers, coming into my house trough the chimmeney was ridiculous. I lived in an apartment and there was no chimmeney at all. I always appreciate the effort my parents will do to give us presents. Where I live now is winter in december, but still is very hot, no snow.
I believe in rituals and magical creatures, but i prefer to leave these to the imagination of kids and not to some prefabricated character. I also really dont like the emphasis that is put on getting presents for christmas and the frenzy some people get into in this time of the year. For the tooth fairy, I think I would tell my kid to leave the tooth under the pillow and the next morning ask What do you think happend to your tooth?, inviting my child to develop his own legend