Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus... Lying? - Page 4

[MilkTrance]

We will do Santa.

I don't know about Easter Bunny. I think it depends on Grandma (MIL). That kind of stuff is important to her. I'm not against the Easter Bunny per se, it's just that Easter is a VERY important holiday to Christians, and I don't want to minimalize it. OTOH, "Jesus died for your sins" is something I'm not sure the average 3 year old understands, KWIM? lol

I don't ever really remember actually BELIEVING in Easter Bunny anyway, or the Tooth Fairy. Just Santa.

[fireant]

We don't do it....it seems not right to tell her that they are real.

[jennnk]

Oh, and I thought of something else, too. The Tooth Fairy is something we will definitely not do because I think disembodied teeth are creepy. My mother saved all of mine & my brother's and one day I was looking for earrings and found them in her jewelry box and nearly threw up. We only ever got 25c, when all my friends were getting upwards of $5, and I figured out when I was about 7 that it was my mom, so I just started giving her my teeth and told her to keep the money. By the time our kids start losing teeth (about 3-4 years from now for Andy), going rate is going to be $10 or more (if it isn't already), and we can't really afford that. Besides, I never saw the sense in giving money for a natural bodily process.

[april77]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

Knowing that those beings are not real, my ds enjoys the pretending. I think he would have been bothered (as in freaked out) by people/creatures invading our house. If they can get in what else can?

We hadn't done SC at all, which was driving FIL crazy when dd was 2. We were at their house Christmas morning and he started telling dd to go into the living room, that Santa had been there and left all sorts of stuff for her. DD didn't move so he went to carry her in and she freaked out, she refused to go into the living room until dh went and made sure that there wasn't a strange man in there anymore. That one backfired. I honestly don't know what she believes now. She was obsessed with sitting on Santa's lap last Christmas but didn't associate him with bringing gifts. My mom always said that Santa was the spirit of giving that lived in all of us, we'll probably say something like that. She'll be 4, almost 5 this Christmas so I'm expecting more questions.

Like Santa, she's seen the Easter Bunny at the mall/local parades/egg hunts/etc but doesn't associate him with getting a basket. Again, I don't know what she thinks he is doing there.

I'm ok with the tooth fairy, leprechauns, mermaids, etc but dh doesn't isn't really. It's one of those things we haven't really reached an agreement on yet.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by jennnk

Oh, and I thought of something else, too. The Tooth Fairy is something we will definitely not do because I think disembodied teeth are creepy. My mother saved all of mine & my brother's and one day I was looking for earrings and found them in her jewelry box and nearly threw up.

My dh thinks that's weird, too. I still have my teeth they removed for braces when I was 12. And my dd's first teeth she lost. I would have kept my wisdom teeth they just removed, but couldn't ask when they were out.

Guess I'm weird? I think they're cool.

[meganeilis]

We've gone back and forth on this. Part of me feels like pushing Santa is inconsistent with my policies about being honest with my child, but I also hate for him to miss out of that aspect of Christmas.

[aries_mama]

Yup, we talk about Santa and fairies (we're talking about the potty fairy these days, lol) etc. Not as "real people" but as creations of our imagination. I like magical stuff though.

[DBassett]

St. Nicholas was a real person...

He was the inspiration of the modern day Santa Claus. That right there makes it not a lie. It's just stretching the truth a bit.


I don't think any of it is lying. I don't outright tell my kids that these things aren't real and let them pretend, I let them believe until they figure it out on their own. If they ask, I won't lie. It's magical, it's fun, and it gives children something to look forward too. I'm not a religious person. I do tell my kids what the holidays stand for though but I allow them to have their fun. I remember kids in school who didn't do Santa, and well, if you saw those kids, they weren't happy. We'd come in and we'd be all excited with our "Santa brought me this" and "Santa brought me that" and those other kids were upset, you could see it in their faces because they got to miss out on all that magic. After seeing that while growing up, I will not do that to my kids. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, they're all in good fun.

Personally, I would not keep the tooth fairy from my children as I really whole heartedly feel that it makes losing teeth less scary. It makes it neat and rewarding.

[delfin]

bellymama:
I love magical stories, myths, faeries. I started reading Lord of the rings at 10. But I also think that little kids (0-6 yo) need full acces to this real world, to understand it, and after that they have the sensitivity to create worlds of their own, freely. They will come up with their own fantasies.
I believe that the views we have on this are influenced by how we were raised. My parents never insisted about these traditions, but I had since being a little girl the ability to create and write stories full of fantasy and mythical beings. I think I just have a different approach to fantasy.
namaste

[captivatedlife]

Replying before I read....

I voted other

I believe it is a lie, and I have NO PROBLEM with other people choosing to teach their children about it.

We're going to celebrate christmas, have fun, see santa, and discuss how santa came to be among the different cultures.

I'll probably do a "tooth fairy" but she'll know it's mama.

Easter bunny.... it's not a big deal, that one. I always saw the easter bunny as a person in a suit.....

[Diane~KJ]

I'm wiccan/buddhist but we do it all!!
I have very fond memories of these traditions and would not dream of depriving my kids of all the fun and fantasy involved. Once I discoverd that my parents were doing the "santa" stuff I wasn't angry at them, nor did I feel they lied to me. In fact I helped keep up the charade for my younger siblings as long as possible.

The only thing I don't go along with is the overabundance of toys and money spending. I think it's insane what some poeple spend on christmas! But hey that's just me. I love the tree decorating, stocking hanging and finding easter eggs, what a blast! Guess I'm a bit of a freak, but oh well! :-)

[Meg Murry.]

Y'know, I tend to think that children might be taken more seriously if we didn't fill their heads with falsehoods from the time they're born until the time they realize that many adults are full of it.

The problem is, we think children are soooooooooo cute and soooooooo adorable for actually BELIEVING in things like fairies, Santa, and the Easter Bunny as part of the wonderful, magical innocence of perfect childhood. *Insert glittery pixie dust here*

How condescending that is, if you really think about it. Too many people treat children like adorable little mental patients, and this is part of the reason why.

How dare we -- and many of us do dare -- basically regard children as stupid, silly, unreliable, unreasonable, and irrational (and treat them accordingly), especially when they are "irrational" enough to have difficulty discerning fantasy from reality.

Gee, where did they learn that?

Frankly, I respect children enough to tell them the truth or at least not to perpetuate any lies. No, I'm not going to tell your child that Santa is really you: that's for him or her to find out and assess the rest of what you've told her or him accordingly.

Personally, my mom -- doubtlessly meaning well and kindly -- made me believe with all my heart in the tooth fairy, to the point where I got into some relatively heated arguments where I "proved" the tooth fairy existed because I had the quarters from Fairyland to demonstrate my assertions. I also had handwritten notes from the aforementioned tooth fairy.

Not only was I crushed when I found out that there was no such thing, I was embarrassed and ashamed and felt I had been made a credulous fool of not only in front of my family, but in front of my peers.

But I'm sure I was sooooooooo cute. :

[PrincessDoll]

I voted "other". I haven't read through the replies yet as I like to respond with my initial reply as objectively as possible

Anyway, I don't believe in directly lying to my child or perpetuating a lie. However, I do believe magical play and fantasy is a vital component of a healthy childhood. Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, the Easter Lamb (in my family's case), etc are all part of that. The way I view the tooth fairy is similar to the way I view playtime, sometimes we pretend to be lions and make roaring sounds, doesn't mean that we are actually lions.

In my family, we can incorporate the tooth fairy without actually believing a real tooth fairy is entering the house. The way I plan on implementing it is when my son asks me if Santa is real or tooth fairy, etc, I will tell him the truth. For example, I'll explain the story of St. Nick and how we commemorate his life's work with concept of Santa Claus. I will also tell my son that other children do believe that he is in fact a real person and it is not nice to tell them that he isn't if they don't ask you so that he can respect other family's choices.

The main reason for this is that I am raising my child Greek Orthodox and am teaching him about Jesus Christ. He will never meet Jesus Christ just like he will never meet the tooth fairy, I don't want him to believe that Jesus is a lie "just like the tooth fairy".

[naturegirl7]

To me - Santa, the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc - they are not "real" and I don't call them "real" - I call them "magical" - Santa is part of the Xmas magic - Santa can represent this magical side in all of us - joyous, loving, celebrating life by giving to others.

I don't think I am lying - it is encouraging DS to believe in magical, impossible things. Creative play and imagination are so important - to kids and adults. I read stories to DS about unicorns, dragons, goblins, orges, fairies, giants, etc. To me, the concept of Santa and company fall in line with unicorns - all magical beings. It is helping kids hang on to their innocence and creativity a tiny bit longer in a world that tries to stamp out magic and make kids into little adults at such a young age....

I don't resent my parents having Santa and company as part of my life as a child. I don't feel jilted or like they lied and I can never trust them. I cherish my holiday memories - cuz our focus was family, not Santa. Santa was just part of the magic of Xmas time.
But then again my parents also told me I'd grow up to be the first woman president. Were they lying - should I resent them because it didn't happen? Or just acknowledge it was their attempt to encourage me to dream big?

I really think it is important to believe in magic - I like the idea of fairies around me. I want my son to lead a magical, creatively blessed life.

DS is only 2, so we aren't teaching him much about any of the holidays, but we are trying to downplay the commerical and religious aspects of holidays. DH is agnostic and I am more earthy and spiritual. I have focus more on the creative aspects and natural importance/significance of holidays - like easter is really celebrating spring and renewal of life - hence all the bunnies, eggs, flowers, etc. We will be teaching him about the original meanings of the holidays (before they were christianized).