How much toddler-proofing for other kids?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

My best friends have toddlers who just turned 2 and 3. My kids are now nearly 8 and 4 1/2, so we are past the age of potty seats, worrying about little things on the floor, safety gates and so forth. I did most of those when mine were little, but not any more. And most of my equipment is gone by now and I've gotten really lazy about cleaning some things. These children will now be in my home a lot more now that the family has moved much closer. Say at least 2-3 times a week, on a guess.

I also expect to have them in the car about 1/wk. We do not have the ability to buy the expensive carseats that match those the parents use -- that would be about $500 for two more seats just for these kids! Not to mention that they won't fit well in the car this impacts nor do they store well in the trunk when we don't need them. We have a toddler seat with a harness DD has just outgrown that I can adjust for the 2 YO. But my 4 1/2 YO just moved to a high-backed booster. 3 YO neighbor is both heavier and taller than my DD and could use the same seat. I won't often have all 4 kids, just my 2 or their 2 -- I'm basically the backup person to pick up their kids from daycare when both parents are running late. Thus this happens with little warning (no time to go home for other seats).

If you were the parents, what would you expect of me? They have said "Whatever is fine" but at least one parent seems very stressed by my house and will probably totally freak at the carseat situation. I want to be a good friend and good godmother, but not at the expense of my household budget, my own kids comfort or my sanity.

Thoughts?

[BabyBugsMom]

If you're going to be their back-up childcare, I would expect them to provide car seats. If you can use one of your dc's old ones, that's great, but they need to provide a car seat for the other child.

The space for car seats issue would be irritating for me, but I have a minivan at carseat capacity so I'm probably not the right one to ask. Can they sit in your garage unless needed?

Childproofing...I'd probably get a gate or three, to keep the kids safe and out of areas I didn't want invaded. Potty seats, etc, I'd expect the friend to provide--unless you are going to be doing actual paid childcare for them, in which case I'd probably make a bit of an investment.

Really, it's your home, not theirs. If you can pick something up inexpensively and it won't bother you to store it while they aren't at your home, then that's fine. It really comes down to how much you want them to feel "at home" in your home.

I get the feeling that, while you are good friends with these folks, they can tend to be a bit...ah...high-stress/drama? Perhaps a bit controlling? Be careful to protect your home/time/boundaries, while still being welcoming. Too much togetherness can be much harder on relationships than distance.

[limabean]

They need to provide carseats, whether they're boosters or otherwise. That's not your responsibility -- they didn't seriously expect you to buy carseats for their kids, did they? As far as the short-notice on having to pick kids up and therefore needing to store carseats in your car all the time, can you arrange a more predictable schedule? Say, you pick up kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays but are not expected to the rest of the time. I guess I just don't see why they'd suddenly be running late so often -- if they didn't have you to fall back on, they'd find a way to be there at pick-up time, right? It sounds too stressful for you to never know if each day will be a pick-up day or not.

As for home baby proofing, I'd definitely work on not having small objects on the floor, keeping everything within toddlers' reach clean, etc. when their kids are over, but as far as actual equipment (gates, potty seats, etc.) I think the parents should provide them. If you have old baby gates, it'd be nice of you to get those out and use them when the little ones are over, but it shouldn't be an expectation on the other parents' part.