"How do you get chicken food from a chicken animal?"

[LunaMom]

Oh, please help me with this one...and I have the utmost respect for vegetarians, but we eat meat and plan to continue to eat meat, so please don't suggest vegetarianism!

I am so ready to answer questions about sex, death, race, everything you can think of, and then the kid asks me about meat and I'm stumped! I know this sounds funny, and it is a little, but please offer some advice...

DD KIND OF knows that the chicken on our plate comes from a chicken like she sees at the animal farm, and she knows that fish is fish (I mean, she's seen the whole fish on ice at the market), but beef and pork, probably because they have different names than the animals they come from, she isn't too sure about. And she really doesn't know that she's eating the actual CHICKEN...she has this vague idea that "chicken on the plate" COMES from a chicken, get it?

Well, we read something that mentioned pigs being turned into pork chops and bacon and now she is asking those types of questions. I've been sort of changing the subject, I'm embarrassed to admit.

I know I need to tell her the truth, but I'm so worried that it will upset her, because she's very sensitive! What do I do?

[SarahGuinn]

Just like you said, she deserves the truth! If she's as sensitive as you say, then she may back off of eating meat for awhile. Just make sure to supplement her diet to make up for any changes.

I'm NOT suggesting vegetarianism, but your little girl may surprise you with her own views on it.

Since you're telling the truth, give her the entire spectrum, saying that some people don't eat meat, and then there's the folks that are vegan, but Mommy eats meat because of reason a b and c.

That's what I'd do anyway. But we aren't there yet, so it's just a theory. How old is she?

[lucina3]

We were pretty blunt with the girls... when they asked we told them that chicken (or chicken nuggets etc) is a dead chicken's body. Same with beef and pork etc. They went through a phase of asking about each meat "Is this dead _____(fill in animal name here.)

The funniest one was when we were in the bulk store, they saw gummy worms and asked "Is that dead worms?" :LOL

After reading the other reply I thought I should add that each of the girls went through a stage of not wanting to eat meat after finding out what meat is, but it didn't last long - maybe 2 weeks at the most.

[LunaMom]

Sigh...I knew that's what you were going to say. Durn it.

She's 4 1/2. And yes, she might stop eating meat for a bit, which is okay with me. She has a great diet and gets plenty of protein and iron from other sources. Still, I hope that doesn't happen.

The idea of my child talking about dead pigs while dh and I try to enjoy our herbed pork medallions with wild mushrooms (I love to cook, BTW!) doesn't thrill me either. Yep, I guess I'm a meat-eater in denial, I'll admit it...

[MaggiesMom]

LunaMom, my sister just went through this recently with my super sensitive (didn't-want-me-to-work-in-a-hospital-once-she-found-out-ggm-died-at-one) niece. She told her the truth, niece asked how the animals were killed. were they shot? Sis told her yes (well, in a way the cows are- a rod through the head) and niece just said, "well, it's better than getting eaten by a lion" and that was that. And she really is VERY sensitive, so you may be surprised by your DD.

[khrisday]

Or your dd may decide to go vegetarian as mine did. She was 3 year dold when she decided, and hasn't eaten meat since. It's been several months, and I really don't see her goign back to eating meat, even though we recently had to cut out all dairy from her diet as well- she has a sensitivity to it.

[sadean]

Or she may be like my child (who is also sensitive) and be choosy about what she eats. DS will not eat chicken most of the time or red meat, but will eat shrimp and some fish. I let him lead when it comes to most foods (though he likes junk food ad I have to keep a handle on that).

He has also been told that while he doesn't have to eat something that goes against his moral beliefs, that he has to be rspectful of other people choices and not say things like 'Yuck, you are eating dead chicken/pig/cow", even if he believes it is wrong.

[mamaduck]

I have no helpful advice, but I can tell you our story.

Ds was about 4 and I set a chicken leg down on his plate. He started moaning and groaning (as usual) about how much he hates meat. I was grouchy that night, and blurted out something to the effect of "just eat your dinner stop complaining...."

He stared at it with this completely forlorne expression on his face...and then slowly said,

"Do you think the chicken was standin' up or layin' down when they chopped her head off?"

I choked. I grabbed the meat off his dish, and threw it away, and I haven't insisted that he meat since that day. His dad is vegetarian (I'm not) so I'm always cooking beans and stuff anyway -- he eats what his Daddy does now.

Since then, he asked me in all seriousness, "What do pigs do on a farm?"

I said that they are raised to be made into food.

He said, "Yeah, I know. Like chickens and cows. But chickens help a farm run by giving eggs. And cows give milk for cheese and stuff, and they can help pull equipment and they eat the grass to keep it short. What purpose does a pig serve in its lifetime?"

I very quietly said that as far as I know, pigs serve no practical purpose except to be eaten.

He left the room sobbing. Poor pigs -- they have such a miserable destiny!

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally posted by mamaduck


I very quietly said that as far as I know, pigs serve no practical purpose except to be eaten.

Pigs eat leftover food scraps and produce manure for crops. Kind of a "processing plant", LOL.

[mamaduck]

Thats wonderful news! Ds will be so pleased! Pigs make useful poop!!

[famousmockngbrd]

Hey, you gotta be good at something, LOL.

[mamaduck]

I told him about pigs as soon as he woke up this morning. He said, "Thats great!" He's been walking around smiling brightly for the past 30 minutes. Pigs have a reason for living.

[eilonwy]

I don't have to deal with this yet with my own ds, but it's actually been on my mind recently for some reason. I remember when my brother and I first learned where meat came from.. we were 5 & 6. I stopped eating meat for about a month and a half, and then rationalized it to myself. My brother didn't eat meat for almost a year! It was never a big deal, though.

Recently I asked dh: "If Eli decides he doesn't want to eat meat when he finds out where it comes from, will you go vegetarian with him?" He said no, but I have a feeling that when Eli is old enough to argue for himself, he'll probably change his mind. *smile* I'm sure Eli will be a nerdy kid, just like his mamma .

[teachma]

This might not be entirely honest, but I think it's probably mostly true. You could tell her that some animals are raised specifically to be eaten, so that the chickens she sees at the farm are for kids to visit, and to lay eggs, but at other places, chickens are grown to be food for people. Maybe she will find that less objectionable than thinking the gentle chickens she pets at the farm will one day be slaughtered and eaten. In the context of a petting zoo or something, all of the animals take on a domestic kind of feel, kind of like our own cats and dogs, so it's hard to think of them as food.

[USAmma]

I think if a child asks the questions she's ready for the whole answer. You can put it delicately but she'll figure it out on her own eventually.

When I learned that truth from my mom I could only eat meat that didn't look like meat from then on. At 16 I became veg, had some relapses, then 5 years ago became veg for good. My dh and dd are also veg. I was probably an extreme case but don't be surprised if she turns veg for awhile.

I very quietly said that as far as I know, pigs serve no practical purpose except to be eaten.

This sounds like a direct quote from "Babe."

Darshani

[UnaLuna]

Hey LunaMom
Just wanted to give my two cents.
As a naturalist at an Aquarium and Nature Center one of the big things kids want to know is what does an animal eat. And they very rarely flinch if you mention some kind of animal. It seems okay for animals to eat other animals (you might say natural)
You can be ecological about it with out being graphic (ie: shooting etc) and explain that everything need to eat something else to survive. Caterpillers eat leaves. Bears eat fish, Lions eat Deer, People (like you eat chickens) Chickens by the way don't just eat veggies, they love bugs! So this may be a way to put it in perspective with out getting gory.
Good LUck!

[bestjob]

The truth is pretty important to me, and a lot of my friends are surprised that my kids know that meat is muscle. I've actually had to tell a lot of parents that when their kids ask that "Where does meat come from?" it is because they've twigged to the idea that meat is different from milk and eggs, which leave the source of the food intact.

At age four, my daughter was eating something that she announced was "better than a pig's muscle" and a number of adults looked a bit squeamish, but my daughter wasn't. She meant it as a compliment to the chef.

Of course, you don't have to be gory. When I was growing up, my parents had cattle on the farm and my mom had to help the butcher with the meat for our own food. She'd come home at the end of a long day looking a bit crazed and open a few cans of beans for us, or serve spaghetti with tomato sauce. There is a limit, even for the most devoted carnivores.

[gardenmommy]

I had a similar discussion with my friend's daughter (my friend was standing right there, and did not offer an answer, so I did.). Friend's dd asked "why do some calves nurse with their mommies, and some live in those boxes and drink from a pail? (pointing to the bottle calves at my dad's farm)

I told her the truth: beef calves stay with their mommas until they are weaned, at which point the best heifers will stay with the herd to be used as replacements. The other heifers and the steers (used to be bulls, but have had certain important parts removed) will be sold, put in a feedlot, and finished out for freezer beef. An unpleasant ending, but they generally live a kinder life than dairy cows.

Dairy cows are separated from their calves within two to three days after birth (sometimes sooner, but usually the farmer wants the calf to get the colostrum; he's going to throw it out anyway, and the calf will be much healthier for getting it).

The calves are then raised on the bovine equivalent of infant formula until they reach a certain weight. At which point, they are transferred to a feed lot to be finished out for freezer beef. Most likely, they will end up in a fast food burger or something similar.

My friend's daughter was shocked. She had no idea that that was what she was eating when she went to Mcdonald's. I don't know what else she asked her mom when they left, but I felt like she deserved the truth. I've known the truth since I was a little girl. I grew up raising beef to eat, been to the slaughterhouse, and watched the process of turning a live cow into a food product. It's rather unpleasant.

Anyway, tell your dd the truth. She deserves to know from where her food is coming. We all do.


Btw, most pigs are raised just for their meat. Their manure may or may not be used as fertilizer. Unless of course, we are talking about pigs raised on a smaller family farm.

Sorry this was so long!

Margaret

[Ravin]

When I was little (age 4-7) we lived on a farm (my dad was the mechanic). My mom helped a couple of times with butchering chickens, and I saw pretty much every stage of the process--one of the men axing their heads off, the headless chickens dancing around for a few minutes, my mom and some other women boiling and plucking them, then when they cut them up. It never bothered me, I think because I knew all along that was why the chickens were in the coop behind our house (I helped my mother feed them, too.) I also grasped at a young age where beef and pork came from. Though I didn't witness the butchering, the farm raised those animals, and shortly after they'd disappear from the pasture and the barn we'd have more food in our freezer as a bonus to supplement my dad's pay.

In elementary school I went to a cattle feed lot on a school field trip, didn't lose my appetite then, either, though I thought it was gross.

I never went through a vegetarian phase until high school.

That said, the main purpose of this farm was potatoes and sugar beets. I've never especially cared for potatoes, early sight of a full potato silo, with all those potatoes stacked so high gave me nighmares!

I am currently a vegetarian and DH is not. He grew up around the cattle industry so knew from a young age where the meat was coming from. I think it's important that children know where their food comes from and how it got to their plates, including the meat. I consider it a personal ethical issue not to eat industrial farm raised meat as well as a health issue. I will leave the same choice up to my children, though I'm not going to go out of my way to fix meat meals for them, they can eat it when their father does, etc.

[wombat]

oh this thread is enough to turn me into a vegetarian. I think I'd be honest about it and respect my child's wishes if she didn't want to eat meat after that. I love my veggies and pulses as much as meat so can I be flexible there. Dh's family might be a bit tough though, they are all mad hunters who shoot anything that moves. I swear everytime I walk into the ILs kitchen, I hear "if you're hungry, there's deer sausage in the fridge". Oh I am so NOT hungry anymore...

I must be getting all ethical in my old age though. I have trouble looking at chicken legs these days. I have pet cockatiel birds and I look at their cute, little scrawny legs, and then feel so sorry for their cousins, the chickens

When I was a kid, I refused to eat chicken skin cause I could feel with my tongue the bumps where the feathers had been plucked out. But then I loved sucking the marrow out of lamb leg bones. Eeek, now I'm picturing little lambs.