I posted this in special needs awhile back and would like to re-open it to a bigger audience. My dd is 12 and entering middle school. She has Asperger's so she is very quirky and wide open to teasing --either whispered or outright. Over the years we have "schooled' her on social mores body english, social cues to help her get along , blend in, and deal with the public.
We have tried to teach looks aren't important, and we certainly do not stress name brand labels and such. However, when she picks out an outfit for school it's usually 2 pieces that she likes separately but they in no way go together--a plaid wool skirt and a sleeveless flowery top, say.
How do I go about "dressing her" , trying to let her maintain her individuality, yet keeping the giant "kick me" sign to a minimum. As a quirky A.S. kid, she has enough issues that set her apart..how do I deal with clothing..(and hair for that matter)? I feel like when I reject her outfits on the basis of "man is she going to get looks and comments on that!" I feel I am undermining what I want her to learn regarding outward appearances and being an individual.
anyone getting what I'm trying to ask???
We have tried to teach looks aren't important, and we certainly do not stress name brand labels and such. However, when she picks out an outfit for school it's usually 2 pieces that she likes separately but they in no way go together--a plaid wool skirt and a sleeveless flowery top, say.
How do I go about "dressing her" , trying to let her maintain her individuality, yet keeping the giant "kick me" sign to a minimum. As a quirky A.S. kid, she has enough issues that set her apart..how do I deal with clothing..(and hair for that matter)? I feel like when I reject her outfits on the basis of "man is she going to get looks and comments on that!" I feel I am undermining what I want her to learn regarding outward appearances and being an individual.
anyone getting what I'm trying to ask???
) and put one in each section. Then for the next 4 days she can pick out which outfit she wants to wear on which day. Those are ds's in the picture. One holds outfits, the other pj's. I keep them filled (most of the time) and let him pick what he wants out of them. I was behind for a couple days and so when I finally refilled it today Owen opened the closet and lets out a big "Ohhhh..... yay mama!" 
He definately loves this set up. I am not using it to keep ds from picking his own outfits. Rather, he gets so upset when I tell him to pick something (before we had this set up) because it was just too much for him. He didn't care about clothes, he doesn't care (mostly) what he wears and there were just too many choices. 4 choices is just the right amount for him though.
: NOT more than alot of other stuff that really matters I know, but it STILL is important. Whether you or I or anyone else likes it or not, there are gonna be kids out there who might just pick on her because of the way her clothing looks. 
: It sucks, its not right but it happens. This is coming from someone who was picked on and spat at in school for years because I was made to wear a really fugly haircut and had nothing but clothing that kids laugh at. 
So I am telling you that it WILL matter to me how my DD looks. 
