Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Gentle Discipline › I need help - I am lost here!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I need help - I am lost here!  

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
I cross posted this in the multiples forum, but perhaps you ladies have more ideas to offer in the way of GD.

Help! I am at a loss of what to do. A while back DS started chasing DD down and sort of tackling her while she crawled. Basically he would crawl up behind her real fast and grab her diaper/pants/shirt, whatever he get his hands on, and hold her there while he climbed on top of (and sometimes completely over) her. We tried to redirect the behavior. Then it progressed to biting. He has eight teeth and has decided that she is his personal teether. He started chasing her down and biting her back. Then it was while they were sitting there playing he would reach over and bite her. Now he has added in pinching. I am at a loss of what to do here! I try to remove him from the situation. I try to redirect his attention. It always leads to him laughing and returning (or trying to) to do it again. He thinks it is hysterical when she screams and cries. I hated to do it, but I whipped out the “No! Stop!” the other day. I have been very careful about not using that word (no). His reaction? It is oh so funny. I make sure I am not smiling; I know I look displeased, not happy and yet he laughs and laughs. What can I do? People have suggested I use his lip and press it down briefly on his teeth, so he feels what he is doing to her. I hate to say it, but I am contemplating this (and I HATE this idea) because my poor DD has a back that is a road map of teeth marks, BROKEN skin and nasty pinch mark/bruises. Please give me an idea of something else to do. I really don’t want him to “bite himself”, but I need ideas of what else to do, as I have run out.
BTW they are almost 14 months old.
post #2 of 9
My first plan (and what I did when my ds hurt other kids at playgroup around that age, I think) would be every time he hurts her, to pick him up, pop him in a sling, say something simple like "Biting hurts. That hurt DD. You can bite this instead" and hand him something fun to bite (like a frozen washcloth or a chewy toy). Comfort DD as necessary and then go on about your business with him in the sling for a few minutes. That would probably annoy a 14mo old who wants to play, so if he fussed I would gently keep talking to him and after a few minutes if he wants to get down, put him down. Then repeat as necessary.

I know that my mother used a playpen to "protect" my older sister from me when I learnt to crawl. She would put my sister in the pen so she could read quietly without me attacking her. Depending on your kids' temperaments, that might work.
post #3 of 9
Thread Starter 
I have been sort of doing the opposite. DD is usually hysterical, so I pick her up to comfort her. It usually takes 5 or 6 minutes to calm her back down. At least. So I end up leaving him on the floor not her.
post #4 of 9
Fourteen months? I would say this is a great time to whip out "no". I would continue to say, "No, stop! No biting!" in a very serious voice and remove him from the situation with no fanfare. Try to do it right before he bites her.

I think that sounds very frightening and traumatic for his sister, far worse than it would be for him to hear the word no.
post #5 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by natensarah View Post
Fourteen months? I would say this is a great time to whip out "no". I would continue to say, "No, stop! No biting!" in a very serious voice and remove him from the situation with no fanfare. Try to do it right before he bites her.

I think that sounds very frightening and traumatic for his sister, far worse than it would be for him to hear the word no.

I couldn't agree more.
post #6 of 9
I would tell him no, don't bite or whatever and pick him up and immediately remove him. I would try to limit your reaction and keep a straight face. It sounds like he is mostly doing it for attention. If you are consistant and give him as little attention for it as possible that may help to eliminate the behavior.

I have had alot of problems with my middle ds hurting ds#2 and most of the time it is always for attention.
post #7 of 9
This isn't something I'd accept AT ALL. I figure it's my job to protect my kids equally. There are degrees of things, and one of my kids being protected from injury is more important than not using the word no. I haven't had to deal with this myself so I'm not really sure what I'd do, but I know I'd find a way to protect the one being bullied.
post #8 of 9
Yes, I think it's important for mom to protect dd from ds at this point. I agree that separating them and honouring the impulse by giving him something else to climb on, crawl on and bite is a good idea.
post #9 of 9
Could *you* provide more proactive "tackling", chasing, and sensory seeking input? Ds is very sensory seeking and if he doesn't have a "sensory diet" available in a constructive fashion, he creates it by bumping into people or things. The biting is a very oral behavior for young children, there are chew toys for kids. http://www.chewytubes.com/chewytubes/chewytubes.php



HTH, Pat
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Gentle Discipline
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Gentle Discipline › I need help - I am lost here!