Saying goodbye to my get out of debt plan - Page 2

[CarrieMF]

He has tons of equity in the house (it's worth about $600,000 now)

Total debt: $325,000

Would your dad be willing to sell the house & move to a smaller place. He'd pay off all the debt, be able to roll the retirement $ into his own, use the life insurance & the extra $ from selling the house to pay for a house with cash.

[Cheshire]

I'm so sorry for your lose. Your family is blessed to have you.

Don't make any moves with the money just yet. If you can, just let your family grieve for a couple of months.

Then, when your dad is ready (and if you don't have time to wait do it now) find a financial planner and pay for a visit.

Your plan sounds great but you may be missing tax implications and who knows what else. Let a financial planner go over the whole picture and give your dad some scenarios to choose from so he can plan his financial path. He needs to consider how social security will come into play, you mentioned selling his practice (when he retires) and he needs to know how to invest that money, etc.

Don't try and do it all on your own right now when there is help out there.

Hugs to you all. We lost my father-in-law 10 years ago to brain cancer. We still stop and think to ourselves "okay, you can come back now, you've been gone long enough." You will be in my prayers.

[emdeecee_sierra]

op i am sorry for your loss. your plan is so sweet and unselfish you have brought tears to my eyes.

[papschmitty]

Thanks again for all the suggestions. Cheshire, I'm very sorry for your loss.

When my mom was originally diagnosed, my dad thought that he'd sell the house right away, that it would be too painful to be there without her. Now, even though it hurts, he loves feeling her presence around him. Like I said before, every square inch of the house has my mom's touch. It was their dream house. There are a couple reasons, albeit not the most financially sound, that we'd like him to keep the house. First, it's a way for him to still feel close to my mom. It brings him comfort and that's a pretty high priority for us. Second, he has tons of support from the neighbors. They bring meals, offer support, and help out any way they can. He'd lose that if he moved to a new neighborhood. Third, my sister lives within walking distance and I'm about a 10 minute drive away (can you tell we're close?). Having him so close makes it easy for us to hang out over there so he's not alone, cook him meals when he isn't feeling up to it, and generally be there for him on a moment's notice. He gets a lot of comfort from being with the grandkids and wants to stay close to them. After my mom died, he said to me that the house he's in now feels like home and my mom made it that way. For the rest of his life, any other house will just be a house, not a home. He might change his mind in the future but for now I totally understand what he's saying.

The house is in a neighborhood that is still rapidly appreciating faster than surrounding areas. He'd be better off building equity in the house he has now than moving. He'd like to be able to stay in the house until he retires in about 11 years. Then he'll sell it and move into something smaller. He'd actaully love to buy my house to retire in. It's a 1600 square foot rambler on just under an acre. The area is a tiny pocket of semi-rural living within the city. It has a nice big garage where he could tinker with his toys (his favorite hobby). Our current next door neighbors are in their late 70s and will probably be ready to sell by the time my dad is nearing retirement. I would love to buy their house and sell my house to my dad. I know, it's a long shot but it sure would be nice.

Suggesting meeting with a financial planner is a great idea. How do I go about finding someone reputable? We do feel like we're in a time crunch. If he is going to stay in the house, it HAS to be refi'd soon because he can't cover that big of a mortgage on his own.

[Lovenest]

I just had to respond after reading.
I am so sorry that you lost your mom so young.
You sound like such a wonderful person, from what you said about your mother it sounds like you and her were much alike. She will be with you forever. What a wonderful daughter you are to take such wonderful care of your father and family.

Hugs to you, I hope with time peace will surround you and your family.

[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by papschmitty

Thanks again for all the suggestions. Suggesting meeting with a financial planner is a great idea. How do I go about finding someone reputable? We do feel like we're in a time crunch. If he is going to stay in the house, it HAS to be refi'd soon because he can't cover that big of a mortgage on his own.

I know a couple of really good financial planners. I was a paralegal for years and so I have first hand knowledge. You have to be careful with financial planners because most are out to sell you something instead of helping you plan. Anyway Candi Lee 206-682-8078 is an excellent planner. She is in downtown Seattle. I have another one, and I cannot think of her name (my memory went with my mom when she died, I swear). Anyway, she is really good too, only thing she is in Lynnwood. She has an excellent book which seems to have walked off my desk. Maggie is asleep on my desk or else I would go find it. She also has been on Oprah a few times a number of years back. If you want her number I will track it down for you too.

[mum4boys]

by the way there is a mother with out mother's tribe on this board. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=1#post9004394

[ChattyCat]

I'm so sorry that you lost your mom.

It sounds like you are being an awesome support for your dad right now. I hope the situation improves with time.

[meandk0610]

s i'm so sorry for your loss.

sarah

[mhurst]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you are doing an incredible thing by helping your Dad.

Take care.