I'm so angry at my mom. She's recruiting other's to "convince us" to circ.

[Belle]

When I first got pregnant my mom's only objection to us having a home birth was that "they wouldn't be able to do that thing to his penis if it was a boy". I told her we would not circ a son if we had one. Mom tried to convince me otherwise and told me that she and her husband had paid to have my nephew circed when my undecided step-sister's son was born. I was horrified at this and sent mom a whole bunch of info from the NOCIRC site. I've never mentioned it again to her.

The other day I went out to brunch with my mom and MIL. They don't see each other very often. While I was in the bathroom Mom tried to enlist MIL to convince us to circ our son. Mom didn't even know what MIL's view on the subject was. All she knows is that my dh is circed. She doesn't know that it was done without my MIL's informed consent and that she regrets not knowing that she had any choice in the matter. MIL said Mom's understanding of why circ is done is very limited too.

I'm so angry that she's actively trying to get others to try to change our decision. It's not like she's going to have any sucess convincing us, but it really makes me angry that she's this aggressive about making sure our son is cut.

[Papai]

I think you should approach her about it and tell her that you don't appreciate her trying to attempt to get people to force you to circ your son.

[TryingMyBest]

Your mother and my mother might just be related! Anyhow, I think that you already sent the information and she didn't budge...so maybe you sum it up in a sweet little statement or email and let her know bottom line...it's not open for discussion. You can tell her your top 5...or send her the link to that MSN poll..that was interesting. I am going to send it to my Mom since it shows such a movement in favor of NOT circing, ya know?

BUt with or without that....politely tell her that you are not going to change your mind and that it would really mean a lot to you if she would at least LOOK at the information you have learned. Who knows...if she has a little mommy guilt she might listen. Dr.Sears has a GREAT response on his page and it seems to work well with the older community since he has been a ped for over 30 years.

If she won't atleast give you her ear...let her know it's closed. Nada consideration...know what I mean? Sorry you are dealing with this!

[Mama Poot]

Ask her what part of "It's not your body, it's not your choice to make" doesn't she understand?

[titania8]

wow. that's crazy! i wonder how that convo went with her and MIL. can you imagine someone trying to get one of us to help convince someone to cut their baby??? look out!

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by Belle

"they wouldn't be able to do that thing to his penis if it was a boy".

So obviously she doesn't even have the first clue what she's talking about. "That thing" suggests she's totally ignorant about it.

[Bm31]

Don't let her get to you. Pretty much that whole generation cut their baby boys up, and now they need to be validated. Most of them did it completely ignorantly and unquestioningly, so there can be a lot of room for education there. They may be done having children of their own, but I could see a proud grandma becoming a fierce intactivist.

[Serenagirl]

11 years ago my son was born, His dad is Italian but his mom got him circ'ed anyways. When he was small she would always slide in little comments: You should've had him 'snipped' he would look much better . I just ignored the comments but took the time to explain to her how important the foreskin is etc. She has another grandson who is 4 and never questioned why he wasn't circ'ed - it took some time but she got over it -especially since her own husband is intact!

___________________
Serena wife to DH Nicolas, DS1 DS2 DD: :

[CaraNicole]

Get her to watch a video of a circ with the speakers all the way up maybe?

[Genesis]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

Ask her what part of "It's not your body, it's not your choice to make" doesn't she understand?

Uh yeah, and I would also tell her that your son's genitals are none of her concern. And you might not want to let her change his diaper or give him a bath, she might retract him if she's that uneducated about intactness!

[phdmama06]

I'm so sorry that your mother is causing you some stress! My only insight is just to remain strong in your convictions and don't let anything she says get to you. Since her initial comment indicated that she didn't even know the name of the procedure (circumcision), she probably isn't aware of what it involves, either. In our parents' generation, a lot of people cut without questioning.

Who knows, maybe this will be a wonderful opportunity to educate her

[coldfeet]

Originally Posted by Natural Mommy*J

Uh yeah, and I would also tell her that your son's genitals are none of her concern. And you might not want to let her change his diaper or give him a bath, she might retract him if she's that uneducated about intactness!

OMG. This is so true about the retraction! I didn't think of that!

I second the motion -- your son's genitals are none of her business!!! :

[hubris]

Yikes. That would bother me, too.

On the other hand, it gives you the opportunity to educate even more people.

I get really annoyed when people spout pro-circ rhetoric but then I have to stop myself and think about it from their standpoint: they truly believe that they are acting in your baby's best interest. It's an uneducated belief, but a belief nonetheless. So honestly, we can probably educate people best by recognizing their worry and their need to protect our children, and thanking them for their concern. The reassure them that your child's health is also of the utmost importance to you...and that NOT circumcising IS the best way to ensure a healthy baby...and would they like to see the medical research supporting this?

[lml41981]

"Mom, when you grow a penis, you are more than welcome to circumcise it if you wish. Should I grow a penis, the choice will be mine, as well. So, I will leave the choice up to my son, who has, in fact, grown his very own penis. Until he makes a decision one way or the other, we will be leaving him as he was when he was born and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't discuss the matter with other people. The more people you talk to about it, the more determined I am to not have it done."

[cherri0196]

Isn't it sad when you don't have a support system you need. My DS is now 9 months old and my mom still doesn't agree with my decision. My DS is the ONLY one in my family to remain intact. i have not regretted my decision one day and it was VERY stressful throughout my pregnancy and even cried over it a time or two. Even in the hospital she was like "this is your last chance" whatever. but in the end he is MY SON and it is HIS PENIS so she will just have to get used to it sooner or later.

[momof_3_boys]

How terrible!

I don't understand why grandparents think their grandson's penis should be of any concern to them. When my first son was born, my father was livid when he found out he was uncut. He didn't speak to us for weeks! He finally called to apologize when he had found out his own father was uncut.