Financial Peace University

[annettemarie]

nak

Our church is sponsoring a Financial Peace University seminar. I really would like to attend, or at least have DH attend, especially if the claims of its success are true. However, DH doesn't think that is possible. He's the pastor, and he says there is a lot of sharing at this thing, and he doesn't feel comfortable laying our financial stuff out there in front of church members.

Any thoughts on this?

[mightymoo]

Can you or he speak with the instructor beforehand about the sharing and arrange to have her or him understand that you won't be sharing anything? I mean, I can understand your husband's concern, and it depends on how its structured - I mean it may be that as long as the instructor knows not to ask your DH to share and he volunteers nothing, it might not be obvious he's not sharing, kwim? Like if all the sharing is just calling on random people and asking for volunteered experiences. Whereas if they go around the room and everyone is asked to share in turn it may not work.

Or perhaps ask the instructor when or where they will be giving the course nearby - perhaps he can attend at another setting where he feels more comfortable sharing.

[Cheshire]

Will there be a lot of your church members attending or will it be people who aren't members?

He could always go and if the sharing gets really personal he can just tell them that he isn't comfortable with that particular question. But, my guess is he would get the most out of it if he could lay it all out there and not have to hold back. I would suggest finding an FPU at another church and attend there.

[annettemarie]

I did ask him to speak to the instructors. Do you think it's worth it?

[velochic]

Well, I don't know the program specifically, but these usually give general advice... advice you can get much less expensively from a book. Every financial situation is very, very personal and while people (even myself, here) give general guidelines, if you need financial help, it's best to read, read, read and then figure out a plan for yourselves. JMHO. If you're uncomfortable, I wouldn't participate.

[rosie_plus_one]

My babysitter went through FPU, and her program was lectures (I think on video) and then they divided into small groups and discussed things very specifically.

Perhaps he could be in a small group with people outside of the church, or with people who he feels comfortable with?

TBH I would have a lot of respect for a pastor who admitted to financial difficulties, unless they were based on things that weren't moral, which I know isn't the situation here.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by rosie_plus_one

TBH I would have a lot of respect for a pastor who admitted to financial difficulties, unless they were based on things that weren't moral, which I know isn't the situation here.

No, although it feels pretty immoral to admit we've squandered our money into $20,000 of credit card debt with pretty much nothing to show for it.

[willowsmama]

You can pick up almost ALL of the FU books and Dave Ramsey's other books for under 100.00 total on Half.com

I would def. try following the books first. It's very well laid out and if you are determined, easy to follow.

[1babysmom]

I've never done it, but my parents did (smaller church, though). My parents, aunt and uncle, and all the other people who did it that I know said it's one of the best things they've ever done. But they're all pretty close so the sharing stuff probably didn't bother them. But I do agree with a PP that I think it was a small group thing.

[Tradd]

I wouldn't even bother with the course materials for at home. You can get copies of The Total Money Makeover (and even the workbook, if you like), as well as the Financial Peace Revisited book.

Dave Ramsey generally has these books on sale for $10 each around the holidays (even Labor Day!) on his website, so I would check out his website www.daveramsey.com next week.

I got a lot out of reading the books, especially TMMO.

Great, FREE, DR-related boards are www.livinglikenooneelse.com

[tallanvor]

My husband and I went through this last year. It was awesome. We didn't buy the course materials because there wasn't really anything in there that wasn't covered in the videos. And there were a lot of people in our class who didn't share. And a lot of the sharing wasn't so much how we've screwed up, but a lot of it was just sharing resources. My husband also isn't wild about sharing our finances. (he hates it when I even talk to my mom about it)

And just for the record, the program is not just for people with financial difficulties. It covers a lot of things, including savings, investing, retirement, etc.

Crystal

[meredithhankins]

We just finished the FPU class. It was great for us and really improved our ability to relate about money without freaking out. Our instructor didn't specifically call on individuals to share, but there was group discussion. Regardless, if your husband is a minister (mine runs a faith-based non profit) it may be great for the congregation to have a glimpse of your personal struggle without going into any detail. Our pastor has been very open about their financial history (married young, had children young, both worked multiple jobs while going through college, seminary, and doctoral work) and that just makes me respect him all the more. Not to mention the fact that on this Christian journey, it helps not to feel so alone on this front. :

In turn, if your church has purchased the kit, all you need is the learner kit and you can watch your church's DVD's at home. It's a wonderful curriculum and really promotes a whole lifestyle of relating to money and may help your own church's overall stewardship.

At the very least, I recommend watching the DVD's and reading Financial Peace. Financial Peace is much more useful than My Total Money Makeover. Listening to Dave's Radio Show online is a good supplement as well.

Hope this helps!

[babz]

For FPU you watch an hour-long lesson then sharing can follow. You're not obligated to share anything with anyone you don't want to. You may find others inspiring. You can also ask for prayers. And you can share victories, like, if you get your $1000 baby e-fund set up or if you have a family meeting with your kids and they donate some toys to a garage sale you are having to help you achieve financial peace!

If we waited for people to become perfect at something before they started teaching it, no one would learn how to do anything. It's not fair to expect a pastor to be perfect - he hasn't had anymore training on how to appropriately spend money than anyone else. I hope he doesn't allow shame and guilt to keep him home. As Dave says, "If you've done something stupid with money, you know what that makes you? Over 12!"

[annettemarie]

Thanks, all! There's some really great ideas here. We're definitely going to do it, we just aren't sure how yet. He has an online course as well.

[Maggi315]

Annette, keep us up to date with how the course goes. I just convinced my husband to attend a series starting in 2 weeks, I don't think he's thrilled, but we most certainly need it!

And thanks for the link to the forum (can't remember who posted it!)

my husband is also nervous about having to put our financial situation out there, so I can't imagine if he were the pastor, that does sound stressful, but I'm sure you'll figure something out!

[rosie_plus_one]

I'm signed up to start FPU next Tuesday! I'm so excited to do it.

Maybe the three of us can keep in touch and see how we're liking the program? I'm a little concerned that I'm not going to be able to get that $1000 emergency fund set up very quickly because we are in SO MUCH trouble financially.

It'll be great to have some outside input on getting all this debt paid off quickly.

[annettemarie]

Things are sort of on hold right now. We have about a month before the class starts, and the senior pastor just left to be bishop and the church is holding a congregational vote on whether or not DH becomes senior pastor and we stay, or we go. So, between that and him now flying solo at a pretty big church during a typically busy time, he's put it on the back burner. I'm gently reminding him that we need to figure something out.

[bobbirs]

wow that is a lot! I wish you the best and I will pray for your and your congregational decisions! I am glad you decided to to FPU! I feel you on the major credit card debt!

Bobbi