regarding work after the babes are born...

[maisiedotes]

Do you have a game plan? DH and I currently work together and we may be doing some baby switcheroo-ing. I will work in the morning (7-2:30) and he will start work at 2:30 and will bring the baby in so I can take her from there. It is going to be a pain but easier than it must be for others who don't work together. Going back to the same job is the worst-case scenario.

But I am ready to get out of the restaurant business- I would love to do something at a desk, maybe at the hospital or something. Patient records or something. Or something from home- that would be PERFECT. I just have no craft skills other than making crooked quilts and it usually involves kicking my sewing machine.

Unfortunately, financially I have to work part-time and with my salary, daycare is not an option (nor do I want to put her in day care). Aside from having my mother move in (which usually involves kicking her what can I do? What are your plans? DH is working a ton of hours and they are very random- not set enough for him to get a second job (nor do I want him to).
Help!

[Grace24]

How about becoming a kick-boxing instructor?

[oskie]

You mean other than plugging my ears and going "la la la I'm not listening, not time to decide yet"??

I have to go back full-time for a number of reasons, and I'll probably start back end of Feb/beginning of March. DH is trying to cut back on his hours so he only has to be out of the house ~ 2 days/week. The rest of the week, he'll work at home/SAHD. If I can keep up my crazy early hours, I should get home around 3:30 or so most days, which will give him plenty of time to get work done on baby's fussy days and we'll just do daycare for the 2 days/week he has to be out.

The only problem is that he started this job in June, so he doesn't have a whole lot of seniority to work with. If his boss doesn't go for the arrangement, DH will quit to give them the chance to hire someone full time and he'll get some sort of part-time work somewhere. (you know, in the magical land of part-time employment where all your childcare needs are satisfied and the jobs are mentally and financially fulfilling )

It makes it tough because DH can't really play the "part time or nothing" card until after the baby is born and we have the option to switch over to my job's health insurance.

[monocyte]

same situation here.

I work (usual, not during a financial crunch like we had this summer) 2 nights, from 5-10ish- usually later. One Sat a month.

But, DH took this new job that he can work from home, does need to travel out of state (potential for a few overnighters a month) and when he does go to the office, it has been taking him 1.5 hours to get home. Just traffic. Its probably about 50 miles or so, but he has to go right through the city to get there. Not fun. He can be somewhat flexible with scheduling, but for the most part has to go when the client say so...

He went to the office yesterday...and got home at 630, putting me to work at 7, 2 hours later than usual, leaving me scrambling to get stuff done in 3 hours that I usually do in 5.

SO...after baby is still to be decided. I really dont want to leave a newborn with a stranger, even for the 2 hour potential overlap (and that's when he not traveling) and I know I've talked about issues with my folks before. I'm really considering dropping down to one night and praying to God my folks have been reformed/broken it, etc. It be dinner time, so, I think the baby would probably be in a chair, on the table, watching the world around him/her. Or, my folks do walk lots (miles a night) so, that wouldn't be so bad either. I just hate to leave kids with anyone but my DH. But, reality is, I have to.

[Curlita]

Here is our plan so far....

I currently work Wed-Sat and Dylan is in daycare three of those days, and hanging out with Dad on Saturdays. When the new baby comes I'll keep the same schedule, but will take the baby to work with me on Wednesdays and work from home as often as possible on either Thurs or Fri. Given variations in work requirements, I'm thinking we will need child care 1 or 2 days a week for the babe.

That's the plan. The kinks that need to be worked out include:
1. Finding care for one day a week. We are wait-listed at the daycare, but their minimum is two days a week. There is no reason they wouldn't let us pay for two days and only use one, of course. I like our daycare, but would prefer to leave baby with someone one-on-one.
2. Paying for this! I just worked out our post-baby budget (about as pleasant as being keelhauled) and once we have two in care, we will be paying more than half my monthly pay for childcare. I have not figured out how to make the numbers work. Paying someone for care one day a week has been (in the past) as expensive as paying the childcare for two days. I don't begrudge spending it for quality infant care... I just don't know exactly how we are going to afford additional child care at all.

We also have the option of having Grandma come provide care, but my dad has early onset dementia and would need to come with her, which begins to be a lot of stuff for my mom to manage all at once.

In your case, why not use your current plan as the default, but not the ideal, and then spend some time on your maternity leave (will you have a maternity leave?) idly looking at other employment options in your area and letting people know that you are thinking about something different. You know you have a job to go back to, and you can start exploring other options and looking for something new while you still have the income.

[Hezzy]

I'm doing a little of the finger in the ears, la la laing, but mostly our plan is that I'm staying home and DP is going to figure out how to bring in the money. I may try, after 3 months or so, to get some occasional work I can do at home or even some p/t child care. I'm going to keep my job and go on leave, so I'll have that to fall back on and keep my insurance for a bit, but I don't plan on returning unless I absolutely have to.

If it really doesn't work out, we'll move. No place can be as expensive as NY, so we'll cut our costs. Me being with the babe is the priority for both of us - the money will come. So "la la la la la".

[Valerieg]

I'm pretty fortunate...I quit my job when I was 6 months PG with DD and haven't gone back. So when this one arrives I plan to continue staying home.

But for those of you looking for care, have you considered at-home providers? They can be quite a bit cheaper and provide more one-on-one if you find the right one (others just let them go...which drives me crazy).

[sorteep]

I am sort of in a denial, praying mode right now... Greg now travels three weeks out of every month from two days to four days at a time.. in town work is an hour com mute each way.. thus removing him almost entirely from childcare etc.. I STILL do not have a doc to cover my office and still no nanny/ babysitter for the new one.. I ma starting to panic.. the plan is to have a cover doc for four to five wks post partum (duting which time I would still be in 3-4 days a week but only for an hour or two each time and with babe in tow.. after that I need to be back in my ofc MWF 9-7.. not really able to take babe with on a reg basis but *can* sometimes if I really havet to.. soooo we either need an in home nanny (very expensive) or a family willing to take babe MWF.. we are still looking.. pls pray

OH Jay is in charge of Evan MWF when I am at office.. no prob there.. at 17 with a drivers license na ddecent maturity he can handle it (he will be paid, of course)

[Da WIC Lady]

I can bring the baby with me to work. I'm a breastfeeding peer counselor and just sitting in the waiting rooms breastfeeding and talking to other moms helps normalize things and provides an icebreaker for conversaton. It worked well when I got the job when DD was 9 months old. I'll probably be going back in mid-December as far as the office goes, but there is still a lot of stuff I can do at home. DH may not even be here for long after the baby comes if he gets this job out of state. We won't be moving until June or July as we would like to have DSS in one school district for the whole school year for once. DD will be staying with my mom. She had her second birthday yesterday.

Anna

[yogachick79]

Ugh, I just finished writing my boss yet another e-mail about this very same thing... I would love to stay at my job and just work less hours. I'm currently in the office 45 hrs per week and that doesn't include my commute to and from work. There is honestly no way I can maintain sanity or be there for my kids when both DH and I are gone that much. It is a constant struggle for us now with 2, so with 3 it will be even worse.

So I requested a 10 hr difference per week well over a month ago and have heard nothing back yet. If I get it, I will stay, if not, I will leave and look for a part time evening job once the baby is a bit older. It will make things very tight around our house for a few months, but I owe it to myself and my kids to not spread myself too thin if I can help it.

[Ivanhoe]

I plan to take 6 months off (three of them paid and three unpaid). After those six magic months, well, I think babe will stay home with a lady that nowadays takes care of my other two children while I'm at work. She's awesome, she's getting old, (64) but she's the sweetest with babes and already knows how to take care of exclusivily breastfed babies, so I'm fine with that. I still has not figured out how she will do to walk and bring back the guys to school, with a six month old (ds1 school is two blocks from home, but the kindergarden of ds2 is like 9 blocks, so I don't see her walking with the babe, etc.) Maybe i have ds2 coming back by school bus, allthough it breaks me heart to put a 3 years old in a school bus, i think it's even worst to make a 65 years push a stroller and a toddler, and in the middle, pick up a 7 years old Well, we will see how we manage that part...

I'm still laughing with the kick boxing instructor comment

[maisiedotes]

Heh. I would be a good kickboxing instructor! I was also thinking of pimping out DH but I don't know if he will bring much money in... he is too inattentive!

I was just talking to a lady at the local hospital and they give benefits for 30 hours a week or more... which would be great because health insurance at our current job is expensive with poor coverage. AARGH- I had a great job a year ago and left because of a sex discrimination issue.... three months PAID maternity leave, full benefits... ugh.

[wwisdomskr]

I was in this position with my first. Planned to just take 6-12 weeks off...obviously had to take off more because dd1 was 8 weeks premature. I finally went back when she was 5 months old and we were in dire financial straits. The only way we could see to get out of it and be able to pay our bills was to have another income coming into the household.

We also did a swing-work/parenting shift thing to limit her time in childcare. Well, after 2 months, I was toast. I actually quit my job without discussing it with my dh first... He was not happy at all. It was a really rough time for us emotionally and financially.

I tried a home party type thing and it was a disaster!

I ended up going to seminary (when dd1 was 18 months) at the same time dh started his masters degree. We coordinated our schedules, etc. It was overwhelming at times, but worked out okay.

We just revamped our entire financial life and made it work.

About 6 months after I put my foot down and threw in the towel, dh told me that he was so thankful that I had quit my job because he could really see dd1 thriving.

I share this not because I think that moms should or have to stay home with their kids... Dh and I have decided that we want OUR kids to have one of their parents with them and right now it works out best for that to be me. I think that if other parents WANT to work outside the home then that's great...(I do it on a very part-time basis, myself)...I just hate to hear people saying that they feel they HAVE to.

Obviously I don't really know anyone else's situation except my own. : In our own case, having one of us stay at home was a matter of completely changing our priorities and deciding that debts can always be repaid while the early childhoods of our children can never be repeated.

[isosmom]

Well, right now dh is a sahd, works 2 days a week and a p/t student, and I work full time. I'm going to be taking off from mid-Oct to beginning of March. Dh is going to continue staying at home, I've given him a year and a half to get a job (he finishes school Dec.) So as much as I know I won't want to go back to work, I know I have to and look forward to the time I get to stay home with all my kids.

[Graceoc]

I am lucky in that I run my own business and DH's job covers the majoriety of our expenses so I can decide how and when to start working again. That said I will be off through the holidays and start back slowly Jan-Mar then find care one morning a week after that, and move that up as I feel comfortable. Most of my work is in the home, I am only out of the house a few hours a week.