off topic stalker question

[maisiedotes]

OK, maybe "stalker" is a bit harsh. I have an old co-worker friend (we do not see each other at all- we no longer work together) and he keeps emailing me. I do not want to be friends with him anymore- he is SMOTHERING. I currently have 6 emails from him that I have not replied to- just small talk, wanna get together, meet for coffee, how are things, etc. I have had no communication with him in 2 months. HE WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. At this point I don't know what to do- you would think he could take a hint.

I am not the type to like to hurt people's feelings but JEEZ. Do I continue to ignore him or tell him to buzz off? Is there some gentle way to do this, or is that asking for trouble? I am afraid if I say "I am too busy" the pestering will continue at a later date.

UGH.

[wwisdomskr]

I think it's perfectly acceptable to just ignore the e-mails... If you ever run into him, you certainly have a good excuse! You're pregnant and getting ready to give birth...and soon you'll be dealing with a newborn! My friends and acq's know that I always fall off the face of the earth for a few months during my pregnancies and after I give birth.

If, on the other hand, the e-mails are really making you feel uncomfortable, then I would trust your instincts and simply mark his messages as "spam" and block his e-mail address.

Remember, people who don't have healthy boundaries count on others "feeling bad" or worrying about hurting their feelings. It's okay to set your boundaries and protect them. It's good practice for motherhood and a good example for your children. Other people are responsible for their own feelings.

[maisiedotes]

Ooh- I forgot about the spam thingie- that way it won't make me uncomfortable because I won't KNOW about the emails, and if I ever do bump into him I can honestly say I didn't get the emails.

I am so bad with confrontation- I am the type to say "would you please just leave me alone" and then I woudl feel bad and say "maybe we can chat next week" or something. I am a softie. UGH! I need an emoticon with me hammering myself rather than hammering someone else.

[wwisdomskr]

Honestly, I struggle with the same issue. I have a really hard time with confrontation of any kind. It's only in the last year or so that I've been getting better with it...but only OUTSIDE of my family...

[sorteep]

block his email from coming in.. that should do the trick..

[maisiedotes]

What would REALLY give him the hint is if he got an automated email that said "your email has been blocked". hoooooohoo! I wonder if there is a way to do that? I can avoid the confrontation altogether!

Why can't some people take a hint????

[GinaRae]

"I keep thinking I will have time to hang out and chat, but you know priorities have really changed. My little girl will be here soon and I'm just not finding any extra energy past pregnancy, family and work. Once she's born, it's going to be all her for a long time. I'm sorry, I just don't think I have it in me to get together and what-not. It sounds really selfish, but i think I should go with how I am feeling and just focus on my baby girl. Thanks for understanding!"

[maisiedotes]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

"I keep thinking I will have time to hang out and chat, but you know priorities have really changed. My little girl will be here soon and I'm just not finding any extra energy past pregnancy, family and work. Once she's born, it's going to be all her for a long time. I'm sorry, I just don't think I have it in me to get together and what-not. It sounds really selfish, but i think I should go with how I am feeling and just focus on my baby girl. Thanks for understanding!"

Ooh, that is good. It is totally putting it on me, which is good. I am always so afraid people will be mad at me! I was about to come on and post (as an alternative to blocking his emails) "what can I say, exactly, to get my point across?" This is PERFECT. Thanks GinaRae!

[tonimk19]

Not in your DDC but thought my reply would help. I had an old co-worker that was constantly hitting on me while he worked for our company (I was married then too). When he quit and moved out of state, he kept calling my cell phone (I never gave him my home info) and e-mailing me via myspace. I wanted nothing to do with him (especially when he didn't get the point that I'm married and didn't need to be hanging around with men like him as friends) so I deleted his info and ignored any numbers on my cell I didn't recognize. He got the hint for about 7 months until he e-mailed me on myspace and asked why I deleted him as a friend. I never replied and he hasn't contacted me since. I think the best way is to eliminate all contact- you don't work with him anymore. If you do see him around just say hi (if he says hi first) and pretend your really busy and have to run. Hope this helps...