Please settle this debate!

[samanthasmom]

My dh and i have been going back and forth on this. his aunt gave us 2 trash bags full of baby clothes. we can use about half of the clothes but the rest are wrong size or wrong season. i think we should give the clothes away on freecycle or donate them to salvation army. they were given to us and we should give them away too. my dh wants me to take them to the kids consignment shop so we can get a credit and eventually get her something she needs. especially becaues we're really really broke right now. WDYT?

[sarasprings]

I think there are two ways to look at it. 1. Give them away because they were given to you. 2. They are to help you out -- which may be consigning some of them.

When I give gifts, I expect the recievers to do what they want with them. So, I think that it is up to you. I think it's ok to consign them in the first place. If you use that money to buy clothes from the same shop, maybe your husband will look at is as more of a trade/swap. The other thing is, in the future, you may be in more of a position to give things away.

When I'm given kid things, if it's by someone I know well, I feel fine selling it at a garage sale (I always sell the things really cheap. Since I buy a lot of our clothes at garage sales, I feel comfortable them along this way since it's cheaper for people than the salvation army.). If someone I don't know well gives me something, I give it away because I feel weird getting money for it. There's always left overs to give away anyway and I'm not sure cosmically it matters if it's exactly what I've been given. Garage salers get their thing, we donate a bunch of stuff to a place for low income people to get it free and we freecycle some stuff.

[melissel]

I could see both sides, but if the person who gave me the items definitely doesn't want them back and we really were broke, I would consign them. For example, my best friend gives me her older DD's VERY nice hand-me-downs. These are very, VERY consignable clothes. However, my friend also has a niece a little younger than my DD. Because she's kind enough to give me the items when she could give them to her niece instead, I keep them carefully and give them back when we're done. I'd never dream of selling them.

On the other hand, my aunt gave me a bag of things a co-worker gave her, that ended up being the wrong season for both my girls, or that we already had. Some of the things were NWT, some were EUC. I would have happily consigned those things (however, we didn't need the money at the time and I had someone else to give them to).

In your case, I think I agree with your DH

[LilMama23]

When people give baby clothes to me, I do end up selling them if I can't use them. I figure that they were given to me with no strings attached and it's up to me what I do with them. If I were in a better financial position, I'd donate them - and I'd donate my own kids' things as well. But since I can't afford to just donate clothes without at least trying to recoup some money on them, I sell. And clothes that were given to me become mine - which I then sell.

[Mallori]

hmm....tricky one. Normally, I would say it's not acceptable to profit from a gift. I can see your dh's stance too. I also see the stance that if you give something away, you have no right to it any longer. But it is irritating and damaging to a relationship to see someone profit from a gift, esp. if you are also in a hard spot.

In this case, what i'd do, ask the aunt. Let her know you appreciate the gift of clothes, but not all of them will work out. Ask her if she would like you to pass them on, or if it would be alright for you to get other consigned items with the credit.

Above all else, i'd preserve the relationship with the aunt.

[kalisis]

For me, I'd have no problem if someone consigned things I gave them. I don't think it would matter and especially if they were in a tight spot, I'd by all means want them to get money they could use for something else.

I figure that once I give something away, it is no longer mine to make any decisions about. I guess I would feel funny if it was something new, I'd spent money on, but if it's used and e just finished with it, then why not have them consign it and be able to buy something they *can* use.

These are all good answers, and I see the points being made. I never thought about this conundrum like this however - good points all around!

[mightymoo]

I would tell the aunt that you took out what you could use and the rest are the wrong size/season and you can't use them. I would tell her you were going to consign them so you can get some other useful outfits for your kids, but wanted to check with her first to make sure she didn't have someone else she wanted to have them.

Chances are she doesn't care, but I think you should give her the option of say giving them to another niece or nephew or saving them for them before getting rid of them either way. If she doesn't want them back, then I don't see any reason why you should consign.

[goldfinch]

Chances are she doesn't care, but I think you should give her the option of say giving them to another niece or nephew or saving them for them before getting rid of them either way. If she doesn't want them back, then I don't see any reason why you should consign.

I agree with mightymoo here, with the caveat that she meant "shouldn't consign" rather than "should consign" in the last part of the sentence.

[mrskennedy]

Yeah. Get a credit for them. Don't think of it as getting money for a present. B/c it's not. It's getting something you can use--money--for trading in something you can't--the clothes. What the aunt doesn't know, can't hurt her--in this particular case. And if she found out you consigned them and didn't like it, it's too bad b/c she's not the one with financial problems and she GAVE them to YOU. So you decide wht's done with them, not her or anyone else.

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by goldfinch

I agree with mightymoo here, with the caveat that she meant "shouldn't consign" rather than "should consign" in the last part of the sentence.

yeah, that's what I meant!

[babz]

I would consign without guilt. But if you are feeling bad, you could ask your aunt if she wants the clothes you're not using back so she can consign them. Chances are, she knows you are cash-strapped right now and gave you the clothes to help you out anyway they can.

[Dillpicklechip]

My husband and I have been really struggling financially the past year or so, with the result that we've ended up with a lot of bags of children's clothes given to us, sometimes from people we don't even know.

For example, somebody my uncle works with gave him a bag of girl's dresses and sweaters for him in turn to give to me. The clothes were all way too baggy on my daughter, who is very skinny. So I consigned all of them. I figure, the people who give us clothes do so to help us, because they know we are in a tight spot. Consigning the clothes renders them helpful when otherwise they would not have been.

It's not like I make tons of money from consigning anyway. I think I've made around $30 so far this year.

[mhurst]

I say cosign them. You were given something to help out your family and in this instance you can't use the clothes anyway so I think you should do what helps your family most, cosigning.

Honestly it isn't like you are going to make a ton of money cosigning them, but you will get some clothes for your DD that you will be able to use later, which is the original intent of the gift.

[momto l&a]

I say the if the clothes where given with no strings attached then they are yours to do with what you please.

[wonderwahine]

If they are the wrong size (to big) or wrong season but bigger than your dc's current size, i would keep them. But I'm a planner and think ahead.

otherwise its really up to you, i never cosign anything because its just not worth it, i either donate or freecycle.

[nylecoj]

I'm gonna go with the idea that his Aunt wants to help you and that if her bags of clothes can't help you immediately, she would want you to benefit in the way you see fit.

Get the money - you are still giving someone else the opportunity to buy clothing at a reduced rate and in turn helping them out.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by nylecoj

I'm gonna go with the idea that his Aunt wants to help you and that if her bags of clothes can't help you immediately, she would want you to benefit in the way you see fit.

Get the money - you are still giving someone else the opportunity to buy clothing at a reduced rate and in turn helping them out.

:

I give away all of our old clothes, but that's b/c I don't know where any consignment shops are! We really need the money. I don't care what people do with the clothes I give them. I give them to them to help them out, if trading them in or selling them helps, then that is awesome.

[gottaknit]

I would consign them for credit for clothes you can use (for any member of the family, even).

Unless of course there is another family member who can use the clothes, then they should get them. But I'm assuming there is not, or you would have thought of that.

I was in a similar situation when DS was born. I got a couple of really expensive baby gifts that I knew he'd never wear. I returned them for credit, but couldn't bring myself to buy any of the baby stuff at this store (Nordstrom); it was just too nice/expensive for stuff that doesn't get worn more than a couple months. So I bought myself new bras.

[SneakyPie]

I don't know what you will do, but I have been in this situation several times and I have not hesitated to consign. The original clothes couldn't help my child, but they could be essentially traded for other, appropriate clothes that could.

[Sharlla]

I would take them in for stuff you could use and give away the stuff they won't take.