Anyone using a doula?

[monocyte]

We are debating...I actually called our CBE from 4.5 years ago as I know she was doing some doula work on the side.

(Story behind this...We've run into a few bumps with the hospital we are delivering at as far as after baby "requirements" Our pedi doesn't use this hospital, and really can't fight too much for us given that she's not there either.From what I am hearing, there is a new nurse manager who is a big PITA. I love my MW and that's the only reason why we are going back to this hospital to begin with...and honestly, I'm lazy, and just don't want to change right now. DH is convinced we just need someone else on our side to "outnumber" them. He was such a great advocate with DS, and I know he will be great again, but we are a bit more educated this time around, and have a few more things in our ideal birth plan.

Weird thing is, I've dreamed of having a uc. I want to be alone - really alone- no doula, no DH...just me...and this baby. I don't like being touch, talked to, even looked at while in labor. So, I'm a bit shocked I even called one today.)

Sadly, she isn't anymore, but was thrilled I called. Then she hesistated a bit, and asked if she could think about it and let me know this week!! I'm so hoping she will!!

She is an awesome lady, very much on the same page as me...and she knows the in's and out's of the hospital as she works there as well. She teaches the yoga part of the childbirth class. I'm hoping this last min decision works out...

[scheelimama]

I will probably have a doula. I will definitely have one if dh is not here to be with me. I'm not sure though, if he is here, if I will have one or not.

Anyway, I think you could tell the doula your wishes in advance and tell her your not sure you really want her to be near you or touching you, but you want her as more of an advocate role. Doula's can be whatever you need them to be. I'm kind of feeling the same way, as far as the UC part, only I really do want dh with me, but no one else. I won't get that though, I don't think, which is fine. I hope it works out for you!

[lisalulu]

We're hiring a doula-dh had pretty strong feelings about because she was such a help last time.

I would ask the doula about the advocacy part in particular. It may be region related but the doula's that we interviewed last time all made a point to say that they couldn't advocate for us at the hospital. They could remind us of our intentions, ask the medical staff to give us a few moments to discuss decisions, but she couldn't actually discuss decisions with the medical staff themselves. Maybe you know this already and I misunderstood? But I think your dh might be right-just being outnumbered and having one other person there to tell you-"No you really didn't want this when we talked about it before" and give you support to push back on the staff could prove to be a big help!

[Valerieg]

We didn't have a doula with DD and aren't likely to have one this time either- but only because DH feels he can handle it and fought me tooth and nail on it. He actually ended up being a great advocate for me during L & D but our hospital isn't too terrible.

But ITA that you should ask about whether or not she can advocate for you at the hospital. The doulas around here will not do that. But I also agree that just having someone to remind you of what you wanted when the hospital is trying to do things can help tremendously!!!

I really hope that the person you want agrees to do this for you and that you have an excellent birth experience!!!!

[crunchywannabe]

well-I am a doula! LOL but I won't have one this time.

Instead, it will be me, dh, my 6 kids and my best friend. Her and I are very close and I was her doula at her last birth. It was the most amazing bonding experience I have had with a friend, and I am very excited to have her there when I have Harrison

[pixiesmommy]

I am... because I just can't ignore the statistics! AND because I wanted someone who would be in the room with me the ENTIRE time so I would not feel abandoned like I did last time when my MW had to leave the room for a few minutes. It's really about emotional stability for me.
She's also a licensed prenatal massage therapist, which will be nice since I had such awful back labor last time... and she's very "mothering" but on a level I'm comfortable with.
We were actually online friends before I hired her, as I was doing the reading to get certified with DONA for PP doula so I could use some of those hours to get my IBCLC.

Manda

[Kontessa]

I will be.

I feel like I need just one person I can hope to count on. My worry though with the one I want is that she is a mother of 5, has an infant, and her hubby is a fire fighter! This means there is a chance she might not be able to come when I need her. A risk I am willing to take as she is a peaceful and bright and her girls are amazing!

I alos like you feel some kind of need for a UC. I worry though I would do it because of a depression or wanting to be as alone as I feel and being able to it. Proving something to myself maybe. I guess I will not know till the time is close.

Blessings,
Kimmy

[NaomiMcC]

We are planning to have a doula and we hope we're having a doula...however she may be moving . If she does, we may simply UC...but my DH is not 100% comfortable with that idea. He likes the idea of someone with experience

[ComfyCozy]

I think between dh, who has the "fist in the lower back" perfected, and the midwives, who will hopefully give me the verbal encouragement I've asked for, I shouldn't need a doula for the labor end. I will have friends around, though, to help me out after the birth--lots of fetching (hot blankets, teas, percocet, clothes, etc.). I'll also have 2 friends on hand to be with the kids both for the L&D and postpartum. I'd rather be caught with too much help than too little...