My husband will be one of the last home -- Need Support

[Kontessa]

I learned the last few days that my husband will be one of the very last soldiers home from this deployment because of one of his extra jobs. He joked that if being good gets you more work maybe we will aim for a little less after this is over. Even if the unit re-deploys sooner then the end of January, my husband will not be here for the birth, I will be alone. When I say alone, I mean after the baby is born, midwives and doula and my friend will go home. I will be alone with a new born and my other children. I will be alone for who knows how long till my husband comes home, weeks or months. I am scared that I will get PPD and no one will know. I am scared for me the kids. I have no family I can count on and feeling like I can not count on friends either. We normally help friends and thus they are not so used to be depended on. So I am here asking you ladies to keep me in your thoughts and if I am on here and not sounding well, say so. I hope to come to trust a few of you with my personal information incase I need someone to call for help if I am not in the mindset to know I need it. I hope all this worry is for nothing, but I want to be ready. Maybe with a plan I can let the fears go and trust that I can do it all on my own.

[Lexi_029]

*hug* I'm sorry, hon. I can't imagine just how hard that would be but you'll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Googy]

Gosh, Kontessa, I am just so sorry.

Could you possibly swing hiring a mother's helper? Like a preteen/teenage girl to come over after school and help you with the kids and with cooking and cleaning and stuff? Mother's helpers are usually pretty cheap, and girls that age love that sort of thing. It might give you some company and help, just to keep your head above water until DH comes home. I know its not the same as having DH there with you, but I'm wondering if it would help you make it through.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

[lisalulu]

I'm sorry to hear about your dh. Please come online if you need support-we'll all be here for you!

[GearGirl]

I'm sorry to hear that, it honestly sounds like that is going to be hard, but you sound very strong and you will make it through. I wish you had more support, I hope someone comes into your life that you can lean on a little, you definitely deserve it!

[Isaac'sMa]

Wow, I couldn't read and not post...I've been away for a few weeks but last I heard you thought DH would be there for the birth. I can't imagine how lost you must feel at the moment after the emotional high of thinking he would be there. Please reach out to us...we will be here for you.

[GinaRae]

Oh my gosh, this is hard, eh? Wasn't supposed to be this way, eh? Hang in there. I am almost convinced it will be easier on you than you think. But what the heck do I know?! I just feel that you'll get some kind of karmic help in the end. Something will come through for you. Until then, hold tight, at least you have us every day to keep you going!

[scheelimama]

Laura, I think that's me your thinking of.

Kontessa, I know this won't be easy, but don't be afraid to ask for help. Hire a mother's helper if you can swing it. Tell people at church that you need help. And by all means, come on here and whine all you need to. And if you are struck with PPD, please, please, don't be afraid to go talk to the dr. and get on meds. It will in most likelihood, be temporary and situational and you'll be off the meds soon after your dh gets home.

[mittendrin]

Urgh, that sucks! I am so sorry, hun. I still remember when dh got deployed, it was for a very short time and I was still at home with the support of friends and family. Plus, no kids and lots of time and opportunity to get distracted. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. All I can say is that you need to hold on to the thought of the moment when you can finally hold him in your arms again. You will get through this!
And it's ok to talk to your Dr about it all and get help if needed. I know you can't count on your family but is there anyone else who might be able to drop by to help you or just be there to listen? I mean, gee, this is really not about housework or laundry. Of course, it would be nice to have help with all of that but face it - a lot of us do that kinda stuff alone without dh's help I am just more concerned about you being stuck in the house without any adult conversation. Coming to this forum is a bit of help but in the end I hope you can go and find someone to talk to face-to-face. Is there a LLL in your area?

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

Laura, I think that's me your thinking of.

Yes, I think so. I feel like an idiot

[Apryl Srissa]

*hugz* I second (or third) the mother's helper idea, that could be a real help for you. Hope it goes by quickly

[monocyte]

s

I can't imagine being in your shoes. I don't even know what to say as I really can't get my head around your situation...but, we are here for you!

[Tiny_Dancer]

not in your ddc but wanted to send and a BIG THANK YOU to you, your dh and your family. Thanks for serving and sacrificing!!!

My one idea is to check on the mdc "tribal areas" forum for your area and you might find some help to hire or just some other mommies nearby to help support you. Good luck to you.