Swimming Lessons - 4 year old will not put her face in the water - Page 2

[insahmniak]

Originally Posted by AuntNi

Just the past couple weeks, DD's become willing to put her face in the water. Why? Because a mom she knows from playgroup encouraged her to. Who knew?

My 4 y/o dd wouldn't put her head near the water, no chin, ears, nothing. We found the most awesome teacher this summer and went 4 days a week (I think repetition is great) and when I saw how well it was going we just kept signing up for more and more sessions. Now she floats on her back pretty much indefinitely, does Superman swims from the steps. Independently rolls over front to back and back to front and is now learning to glide on her side.

My feelings about what worked: the personality of the instructor made all the difference. She was a coach, a mom, and was also very experienced and professional and approachable and upbeat - just amazing. There were three or four preschoolers to this one teacher, and there was never any crying, ever. Nothing was forced, ever. It wasn't an overcrowded noisy pool. It was heated fairly well and they also used warmbelly suits and goggles. They mixed things up a lot with fun stuff and challenges and then more fun stuff. And they always ended happy.

As far as cost, we paid $10/30 minutes, which I think is very reasonable considering the progress she made. I'm so relieved that dd doesn't freak out anymore about getting her face wet. And I'm thrilled that this thing she didn't like before has become something she feels really good about.

Were you happy with the coaches? I'd first of all make sure that you're nothing less than thrilled with the instructors - you can ask to observe before signing up. If you adore the coaches and she's still not responding, then I'd take a break and just play a while longer. Swimamerica is the program our coach uses, and I think they have a directory of coaches on their website. There might be one near you. Ours let us come for an introductory session where I could see them interact and she gave me her take on dd's water-shyness. Isn't that great service?!

[momto l&a]

Another thought, having your own pool really has helped my dd's. They can go out whenever they want.

My #3dd didn't like to go for awhile if Daddy was out there but would go with her oldest sister. Her oldest sister could get her to do things nobody else could. :

[HeidiAnn67]

All 3 of my boys were born with a fear of "pools". The oldest 2 didn't learn to swim until much later then the "norm" (and my oldest son almost drowned because of it). With my now 4 year old I didn't want to wait and have another scary incedent. He started swim lessons this summer (I signed him up for 2 sessions, so 4 weeks total). He was terrified at first and parents are not allowed in the pool area during lessons. He would scream and cry and beg the teacher to "leave him alone".

I was so torn on this. My heart was screaming "get him out of there", but my head was yelling "he needs to stay or he'll never get over his fear". I actually thought to myself many times "this isn't very "gentle" keeping him in there".

The teachers would dunk him under every lesson at the beginning. They made him jump in the pool when he didn't want to (even pulling him off the edge of the pool). BUT I must say that by the end of the 4 weeks my son was swimming to the 12 foot end of the pool (with a noodle) and jumping into the 12 foot end (not happily though). He's sad lessons are over and can't wait for next summer.

[runes]

as a swim instructor, i would say that consistency is key. most little ones that are reluctant to put their faces in the water will not do so with going to the pool sporadically. i would suggest getting to the pool at least 3 days a week, if not 5 plus days per week. keep it really light and fun, and if your pool allows them, get a few small toys that she can bring with her.

also, group lessons are really challenging for some kids. sometimes it's just too hectic, and sometimes it's not a good match in terms of an instructor. if you can find someone to do private lessons, that may help, but again it would have to be someone that your child would trust.

i had a little boy this summer who is 5, and when we started private lessons he didn't put his face into the water. i saw him 3 days a week, and i spent the first few sessions just establishing a relationship with him, making him feel at ease, and having him learn that he could trust me and that i wouldn't make him do something scary. he is now doggie paddling across the pool, jumping into the deep end by himself, treading water, and diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve toys. i know that partially, he was 'ready' and just needed someone to encourage him gently. hopefully you can find someone that could help you with that. by the way, we kept the lessons really short...15 minutes each time.

i also do not believe in using floaties. i don't think that they assist in the learn to swim process whatsoever.

as for being on the late side for learning how to swim...i didn't start taking formal swim lessons until i was 12 (it was never a priority for my parents) i joined the swim team later that year, was competing in national competitions by 15, got a scholarship to swim in college and was captain of the team. so don't worry too much about your dd's age.

[marieandchris]

Originally Posted by mightymoo

Unfortunately, cost wise I don't think this will work for us, we are already stretching our budget to belong to the indoor pool (but its good for all of us and DH and I need a gym). I'm curious though - how often did you do the lessons?

We did the lessons at the YMCA. It wasn't terribly expensive. He had a lesson once a week. Toward the end of the year, in the spring, we did semi private lessons with friends (of his)...at most 2 kids in a class. The group lessons, we found, were a waste of time. He only got about 5 minutes/30 minute lesson in the water. Not enough.

[ZanZansMommy]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

Go with her (not lessons) and play games, have fun, relax about it. When she warms up she'll be fine.

: This is what worked for us. My DD (also 4) started lessons at the beginning of August at our town pool. She was exactly as you describe your daughter. Refused to put her face in b/c she hates water in her face. I was stressed & irritated b/c I paid a lot of $$$ for this & she wasn't willing to try.

So we are continuing with her lessons but I also take her to the pool just to play. This has been the only way she will put her face in the water. And that still took a lot of time. She basically wasn't going to do it until she wanted to. She's a bit more comfortable but not much. I figure she's going to be in this Level for awhile & when she's ready to progress she will.

Originally Posted by mightymoo

What do you think about various floats? It wasn't an issue this summer as the outdoor pool does not allow any toys or floats (I think for safety reasons, there are tons of kids and they don't want parents walking away from a nonswimmer because they have a floatie). But the indoor pool does not have a lifeguard, parents have to watch the kids, which is fine by me anyway, I am always in the pool with them, but they do allow floats and things. I'm wondering what kind is best? DD definitely feels most comfortable in a ring, which is what she used when we were at the lake this summer, but it doesn't really encourage her to swim swim, so I'm wary of using one in this case. They have kick boards and those dumbbell things, as well as noodles at the pool, they also sell those bubbles - they strap around the waist and have a balloon like thing on the back to help the kids float.

I'm just wondering what would be best? This indoor pool is over her head (4 feet) so she will only be able to stay on the steps without any flotation. Thinking about it now, I'm thinking I might make DS wear his life jacket when we go just the three of us. What kinds of flotation did your kids learn best with?

My DD wears her life vest when we go to play. She feels secure with it & she feels more comfortable experimenting when she has it on.

[Doodlebugsmom]

I wouldn't even worry about it right now. Dd did her first round of swim lessons when she was 3.5. She sat on the edge of the pool every day for two weeks without getting in the water once. Last year, she got in, but had to have goggles on to avoid getting any water in her eyes. She wouldn't go under. She was 4.5. This summer, at 5.5, she was going under and jumping in early in the summer before she even started lessons. After her very first lesson, she began swimming under water. Now, at the end of summer, she jumps into the deep end, swims to the surface and back to the wall all by herself! I see 2 year olds going under and swimming, and older kids afraid. There's a huge range of normal. With regular exposure to the pool, I'm sure that over time your dd will be just fine with water.

[boatbaby]

I think not pressuring the kid while being consistent is key.

We have taken DS to the pool EVERY week, 2-3 times a week minimum, since he was 6 months old. Sometimes lessons, sometimes just to play, something he sat on the side and refused to come in. But I always tried to make it fun and let him know I was there for him. When he was in the mood -- I ran with it. When he wasn't -- no biggie, let's just splash and have fun or I swam and he sulked

He was able to go underwater before he was 2 and this summer before he turned 3 he could swim across the short end of the pool and dive down the retrieve things in the shallows. We never used floaties.

That being said, we have a neighbor with a DD the same age as DS. When the mom saw DS swimming she started pressuring her sweet girl to take off her float suit and "start working". It was an awful scene -- girl crying that she was scared, mom taking away float suit and dunking girl and saying "look at him, he's younger than you and HE swims". I gently explained that DS has been in the water non-stop for 2.5 years and that making it fun was key. The whole scene ended in a very sad way for the girl.

But the moral is... there is NO magical age for swimming. Or riding a bike. Or weaning. Or pottying. Or sleeping through the night. It won't happen in one set of lessons either. If you're able - just KEEP GOING to the pool ALL YEAR and having fun, make sure your child is warm in the pool, make sure they have something to play with, and be ready for regression if you have not been in the pool a while.

Good luck!

[MSings]

I would second what Doodlebugs mom says. My son was terrified of the water from age 18 months onward. At age 4 my ds spent 2 weeks of swim lessons watching from the side without putting a toe in the water. He has refused all lessons since. We just hang out a lot at the pool. And, at ages 5-6 he has taught himself how to swim, dives to the bottom to retrieve objects and can now take breaths in between strokes even though he has no body fat and floats about 6 inches beneath the surface.

A safe place for your daughter to practice "blowing bubbles" underwater might be the bath tub.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mightymoo

This is all great thanks. I will probably go with my initial plan of just bringing her to the pool every week then and not worry about the lessons for now. ...

She has goggles, but after the initial interest, hasn't shown any interest in wearing them.

What do you think about various floats?

I'd keep the goggles in your swim bag and encourage her to play with them sometimes when you are at the pool. I think that for a child who is reluctant, floats can help them discover that water is a heck of a lot of fun.

I really don't care for the bubbles because they cause the kid to float butt up and face down, which seems a little backward to me. :

I think that having fun in the water is more important than swimming, so I'd let her use a ring for at least part of the time you are there if she likes it.

My older DD loved swim lessons and learned to swim quit well when she was 3. We assumed that our younger DD would be the same way, but she was just the opposite. She hated lessons and was very fearful of water. She just kept things very mellow for her -- no lessons but lots of time playing in water however she wanted to (floats, balls, etc.). When she was 8 she taught herself to swim a bit without putting her face in, and when she turned 9 she decided to wanted to swim on swimteam with her sister. She went from not putting her face in to swimming under water to doing all 4 competitive strokes in less than a month -- because she wanted to. She had one week of expensive semi private lessons and was ready for swim team! She is now swimming 2 hours a night 4 nights a weeks and getting ready for her first meet.

When she was going through what your DD is, we bought her a swim suit with built in floaties so she could enjoy the water. I don't think it hurt her a bit because she wasn't ready to really swim.

Originally Posted by kidspiration

i would suggest getting to the pool at least 3 days a week, if not 5 plus days per week.

I disagree. My kids went swimming a lot during summers, but not at all in the winter when they were small. As they are 9 and 10 and both swim competitively now, I see no reason for the parent of a young child to have their life revolve around taking their kids to the pool (unless that is just what they want). If your kids really get into swimming, your life WILL revolve around it, but there is no reason to rush that!

I think that taking a small child to pool as much as it is fun for us is enough. I think that enjoying the water with our kids is far more important than how much they *progress*. Taking 2 small non-swimming children to a pool, esp. when it is chilly outside and you have to get them changed and totally dry, and you are lugging all the stuff back and forth, is a lot of work.

(My life revolves around swimming and my car is nothing more than a swim taxi )

[angie3096]

I think it is totally and completely normal for a child not to want to put her face in the water when she first starts swimming lessons. I had swimming lessons at age 6 and they made me put my face in the water and it is one of my worst memories.

DD didn't want to put her face in the water at all, she didn't want to get her ears wet even (hairwashing was a challenge for a long time!) We found a place for her to get private lessons with an instructor we liked who let us stay and watch the whole time and she eventually got over it. There was no pressure, just play and patience. She's had lessons two or three times a month for 15 months now and she swims like a fish!! She swims underwater and can make it quite a ways now without coming up for air. She started at a local health club but her fave teacher (the one she started with) moved to the YMCA so we moved there too! I would just keep shopping around until you find an instructor who will work with her instead of pressuring her. And if you can't, just work on it yourself. When she's ready, it will happen.

[kennedy444]

I would give her more time and let her get comfortable at her own pace. There is no way I would push lessons or make her put her face in until she wanted to.

She'll do it when she is ready and wants to.

[marybethorama]

I know a little girl more than twice your dd's age who won't put her face in the water. She has taken lessons and she does swim, she just doesn't put her face in. Her parents swear she has extra vertebrae in her neck because she somehow manages to keep her face out when she's swimming.

I wouldn't push it.

[allgirls]

My 4 year old won't put her face in the water...the teacher dunked her. No more lessons thank you very much:

My 22 mos old will dunk under and come up laughing..different kids, different comfort levels.

I took them both out of swimming. My oldest couldn't move on to the next level because she couldn't/wouldn't put her face under water and my youngest couldn't move on because she was too young though she could do all the requirements.

So I decided it's not all that important. Swimming is fun but it's not that important. They both enjoy water fun in the backyard with the kiddie pool and the sprinkler.

[molarmama]

You may want to try private lessons or semi private lessons. My son will be 5 in Sept. Our favorite babysitter is also a life guard and swimming instructor. We knew that group lessons wouldn't work because he gets very anxious with people he doesn't know, especially if he is doing something "scary". We took all the scariness out of it for him. We were also allowed to stay on the sidelines. Out of the way of course, but he didn't have to worry about us leaving. The first day he told her that he wasn't putting his face in the water. She said OK. On Friday he went under 20 times in one lesson and was VERY proud.

[Yooper]

I am practically a fish in that I love to be in the water so I was anxious to share that with dd. We discussed lessons but our local pool is just too cold. By the time the lesson is halfway through, the kids are popsicles. I never took lessons either. Unless you count my uncles tossing me off the end of the dock at age 4. I did swim rather than sink and knew how to swim from that day on. I would never ever suggest that for a child. How I am not traumatized, I have no idea Seeing as I had fallen off the dock a few times, they felt it was time I learned and just did not know better...... But looking back and watching my own dd, I do have some ideas. First off, I got familiar with water in lakes. So has my dd. The nice thing about a lake is the gradual deepening. I remember spending hours playing in the very shallowest of water. I could lay down and pretend to swim while my hands reached the ground. In this seemingly pointless exercise, I learned to put my face in, sometimes accidentally due to waves. Yes, there were tears when I got surprised by a wave and inhaled water. Dd has been through the same. But those things happened when I was playing and exploring on my own terms. Still frightening and unpleasant, but I was still willing to run back in 3 minutes later because I knew I was in control of that exploration. Dd has come a LONG way this summer. At the beginning she would not even consider putting her face in but now has learned how to do it and is quite pleased with herself. She cannot swim yet but probably would pick it up quickly if we made an effort to teach her. I have not made that effort because I like watching her learn and figure it out on her own. My point is that I would encourage exploring in the baby pools, bathtubs, and lakes/rivers/ponds rather than going for a full depth pool. That way she can take charge of her own exploration and get comfortable at her own pace.

Also, I do think floatie type things are an OK this to use. It was the noodle that made dd understand that putting her face in is part of the swimming process. They are fun and lead to further exploration. However, I do worry about the kids that I see floating off into the sunset with their water wings on and the parents how have a false sense of safety with their use.