mama of the week #2: wwisdomskr - Page 2

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by *HolisticMama*

What is your favorite thing to do on the weekend?

I LOVE to go on little day trips with my family. It's wonderful to have my dh in the car and be able to chat in a relaxed way with him. He's such a responsible person, with such a very high work ethic, that it's hard to find him sitting in one spot doing just one thing. I love exploring outdoor things like state parks, little festivals, etc. I grew up in Montana, where it was honestly a long drive to anywhere...so, I still get warm, fuzzy feelings being out on the road with some good tunes or an audio book on the radio and just BEING with my family. We have a bunch of family songs that we all sing along at the top of our lungs to.

I also love going to the movies. We go as a family a lot and the kids love it. We have both heated and funny discussions about the things that we watch. We eat too much popcorn, etc. Dd1 used to have a really hard time sitting still, so we would tell her that we would leave if she wanted or if she could just still still until the credits, she could get up and run around the theatre as much as she wanted. It's become a hilarious tradition, now. She's almost 7...but, she waits until the credits roll...she does some stretches while the crowd leaves the theater and then she runs a bunch of laps around the room, laughing herself silly while she's doing it. :

Yes, we are a very weird family...

[scheelimama]

That's a lot of people! Who are you using for your childrens' doula's? Are they friends or real doulas? I'm still debating on what to do for my kids. I think I'll only have one for them though.

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by *HolisticMama*

What are you most looking forward to with this child?

Probably the sibling interactions. My dd1 is getting her own mei tai and says she's going to carry him everywhere until he's 4! She carries her baby sister on her back with our Toddler Babyhawk. It's so precious. It will be fun to see how my dd2 takes to being a "big sister."

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by sorteep

OHH your DD rides!! since she is in jods I know it is English.. what discipline? how long has she been riding? does she compete? jump? pony or horse? (man I MISS riding sooooo much..) and NEVER miss an opportunity to talk "horse" !! thanks

Dd1 is philosophically opposed to ponies...and has insisted on riding an actual horse since she was 3.5 years old!

Thankfully...for me...she hasn't expressed an interest in competing yet. She just recently started trotting and posting independently (off the lead, I mean). And, had her very first major fall...caused by ME, no less!

I had run out to get a drink and, as I was coming back, I hit a huge pothole on the road next to the outdoor ring. The horse spooked and threw her. I just sat there, horrified as my child flipped a few times in the air and landed back UNDER THE HORSES' LEGS. I thought I was going to watch her be killed, honestly. Luckily, it was *normally* calm, well-trained morgan and he stood perfectly still.

Her instructor hugged her, had her hug and stroke the horse a minute, and then got her right back up in the saddle and posting again. Dd walked around for the next few weeks telling everyone "All good riders have been thrown, so I'm a good rider!" I think it was much more traumatic for me than it was for her...

Now, we're going through a sad transition. Her first instructor was the only one in the entire area who would let dd1 ride at age 3.5...after dd1 finally wore dh and I down. We love her. She's been wonderful in every way.

Well, she recently was offered and accepted the position of stable manager and head instructor at a huge equine center 45 minutes away (with no traffic). She even has a house on the property! At first, dd1 wanted to commute and I didn't mind. But, then she got tired of it taking up the better part of a day...

So...we had to make that sad, sad phone call.: Her instructor rec'd a Hunt Club 15 minutes from our house. Dd1 is starting on Monday.

The only problem right now is that this place is pretty adamant about dd1 tacking up her lesson horse with parent assistance, rather than instructor assistance. My dh, the son and brother of strong women and usually an equal-partner kind of guy , has put his foot down and said that I will absolutely, positively NOT be tacking up a strange horse, while pregnant and carrying our dd2 on my back. So, we're going in on Monday to speak with them and arrange for another, older student to be around to help dd1.

It's time that she learn to do it independently...but, she is only almost 7 and may need some physical assistance lifting stuff and possibly handling an upset horse from time to time.

Anyway...it's a new adventure! Dd1 is very excited...although she's nervous about not being familiar with any of the horses, etc. I'm going to see if someone can give us a tour this afternoon and officially "introduce" us to the horses used for lessons.

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

That's a lot of people! Who are you using for your childrens' doula's? Are they friends or real doulas? I'm still debating on what to do for my kids. I think I'll only have one for them though.

If my girls were closer together in age, then I would just have one doula. But, as it is, I think that their needs are going to be very different. Their "doulas" are just very close friends. Dd2's doula is a dear friend who is currently living with us...so that works out perfectly. Dd1 hasn't decided who her doula will be.

We've invited her Spiritual Guide Mother to come out and stay with us for a few weeks to be here. Unfortunately, she's in her final year of her phd, just like dh: and doesn't know yet if she can make it... Hopefully, we'll find out in the next couple of weeks. Dd1 needs to decide who she will ask if it doesn't work out...

My doula is going to be a "real" one...

[scheelimama]

I'm still struggling with what to do about the doula for my kids thing. DH doesn't want any friends there, but I don't know if he'll be here or not. And we're not rich enough to just hire all the doulas we need. An additional concern is that I know dd1 will be fine through the whole birth and want to be in there with me the whole time, but dd2 is young enough, I don't know what she will need or want during the birth, so I don't know if I should just leave her with someone or find an additional support person. Anyway...that's my issue.

So, on another topic, how much do horseback riding lessons run? I bet dd1 would love that! But she also wants to do dance, gymnastics, and soccer. Not sure yet, what she'll end up doing this fall.

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by *Lindsey*

What are your greastest joys as a mama?

Gosh. There are so many, you know? Just the wonder of it all takes my breath away. Seriously. Who needs mind-altering drugs when you have kids? These human beings grew inside of my body from cells...and now, 2 of them are here, on life paths that I cannot possibly know a fraction of...

They are already so wise. It's an amazing gift to "borrow" them for this short time and get to see the world through their eyes.

My dds are soo hilariously funny...and intense...and passionate. I just can't believe how blessed and lucky I am to have them in my life. And now, we're having another child! Our family is going to be even more dynamic and fun!

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

And we're not rich enough to just hire all the doulas we need.

Yeah, everyone says we should get "real" doulas for our dds. Well...
Even beyond the money factor...birth used to be about women supporting women... Plus, it's so rare for young women to witness normal, natural birth before they have children themselves...and it can make all the difference in the world for their own birthing experiences. I think it's fair to say that you have to be careful who you invite and do some preparation together...but, I like the idea that we are also giving a gift to our friends by asking them to help us in this way.

I think it's safe to say that your dd2 will need someone to be tuned in to her needs during the birth. And, it's too much to ask of dh to be your awesome birth partner, new daddy for the 3rd time...AND look out for your other children's needs.

Sounds like he's really looking forward to the intimate privacy of the birth, though...with just your family. Could you talk to him and compromise? Maybe you could carefully choose someone to be "on call" for the children...then, see how it goes...and remind everyone who WILL be there of this person's name and phone number and under what circumstances she should be called?

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

So, on another topic, how much do horseback riding lessons run? I bet dd1 would love that! But she also wants to do dance, gymnastics, and soccer. Not sure yet, what she'll end up doing this fall.

You don't want to know, Mama. We started out, 3 years ago, paying $30 a lesson. Then, it went up to 35...and now, we're about to start paying...GULP...$40 for a half-hour lesson.

When she first started, dd1 only went once every 2 weeks. But, now she goes weekly. When she gets a little older, she'll be able to work in exchange for lessons (mucking stalls, basic horse first aid and helping younger students tack and groom their lesson horses). She's too young for that now, though.

I try to just be thankful that she doesn't want flying lessons...

She's also doing gymnastics this fall, a monthly class at a nearby zoo and a bi-monthly class at a local farm.:

Now, she's also talking about a pottery class... Good grief. Thank goodness she's homeschooled! I may allow it since she'll have a ride with a friend, but we have to have a family talk first.

[scheelimama]

Originally Posted by wwisdomskr

I think it's safe to say that your dd2 will need someone to be tuned in to her needs during the birth. And, it's too much to ask of dh to be your awesome birth partner, new daddy for the 3rd time...AND look out for your other children's needs.

Sounds like he's really looking forward to the intimate privacy of the birth, though...with just your family. Could you talk to him and compromise? Maybe you could carefully choose someone to be "on call" for the children...then, see how it goes...and remind everyone who WILL be there of this person's name and phone number and under what circumstances she should be called?

Oh, I definitely know he can't do it all. : He'd rather the girls not be there at all. But dd1, at least, has her heart set on it as much as I have my heart set on the hope that dh will be there. I won't rob her of that. And she will need a support person. We are going to a birth center and it's actually a requirement that you have a separate support person just for your children if they are going to be there. Still not sure what we will do, I need to figure that out soon.

I like your philosophy on birth and women helping each other. I have a friend who really wants to be there with us and witness, hopefully, a natural water birth. But like I said, dh doesn't want anyone there, so I'm having trouble meshing everything together, especially since I don't know if he'll be there or not. Anyway, sorry to steal the thread.

How does your dh feel about having so many people around for the birth? Is he a social guy, the more the merrier type? How do you feel about it?

[brooklyn_warbler]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

More questions:

What's your favorite thing to do with "you" time?

Any hobbies?

Any addictions/obsessions (i.e. coffee, cloth diapers, babywearing...)?

How many children do you guys plan on having? How do you deal with having such difficult pregnancies? (I'm seriously considering not having any more children simply because I can't imagine going through this again, but a part of me really wants a 4th child, so I'm especially curious how you decide to become pregnant again after having such a tough time, kwim.)

How old are you? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but everything is fair game when you're in the spotlight, right. )

What's the age difference between you and your dh?

What do you and your dh argue about the most? What do you enjoy doing together the most?

i want to hear the answers to these, too! : (although i think i know your age because i remember a blog post a while back, )

[wwisdomskr]

Sorry...I'm such a slacker this week! :

I will get these all answered by the end of the weekend...I promise!

[sorteep]

Originally Posted by wwisdomskr

Dd1 is philosophically opposed to ponies...and has insisted on riding an actual horse since she was 3.5 years old!

I gotta ask..... what could her philosophical opposition to a pony be?? I have been wracking my brain on this and have come up empty.. I am very curious as to her logic on the "no pony" rule.. except that ponies can be evil little things, esp school ponies! I can also not imagine a 3-4 yr old on a horse the leg length and trot stride alone would be almost impossible to manage for one so young?? she sounds spirited (LOVE that in a girl!!)

[wwisdomskr]

Yikes! It's still the weekend--officially--right?

A couple of dh's former students came by the house yesterday to visit, so I didn't have the time to finish these questions up. I am still working on them, though. I hope you all don't mind if I've run over a day...