At what age did you teach your child to wipe self?

[Elijah's Mom]

after going poop? My DS just turned four and I'm really getting a bit tired of wiping him after he poops ... it feels too slavish, for some reason ... when he is learning and wanting to do so many other things for himself.

When did you teach that and how did you go about it without shaming, pressure or always second-guessing?

Becca

[mistymama]

My son will be 5 in November and I still wipe him.

We've had some success with using flushable wet wipes, but if I let him use just regular tp to wipe himself, we'd end up with a big mess.

It will be interesting to see what other say .. like everything else I just figure he'll wipe himself when he's ready.

[LynnS6]

Age 6 for us. When I suggested that he try at age 5, he freaked out and I backed off. At age 6 he asked "what if I get some on my hands?" and I explained that's why we wash them!

Since he wasn't internally motivated, I did a sticker chart.
Week 1 = we wiped and he wiped after us, just to practice the motions without having to worry about getting the poop off.
Week 2 = we alternated wiping - he started, we wiped, he wiped, we wiped
Week 3 = he wiped himself and we 'checked' to make sure he got it all.

At the end of each week, if he got 6 stickers, he earned a bus ride (he's majorly into buses). At the end of the 3rd week, he got an extra long bus ride that he'd been wanting to do for a long time.

It's been about 6 weeks since we started the new regime and he's fully wiping himself now. He still puts a sticker up on the chart, even though he's no longer earning anything. It must mean something to him.

[USAmma]

I stopped wiping my dd1 when she was around 4.5 -5 but I still would help wash her in the shower until I felt she was doing a good job by herself. Then I coached while I watched her do it. She's 6 now and I just turned her loose on this issue.

My dd2 is 3.5 and I still wipe her. She wants privacy when she poops but will yell for me to wipe her.

[becoming]

My DS will be 6 in October and still isn't good at it. The wet wipes help; we always keep a box on the back of his toilet.

[sunnmama]

My dd started wiping herself fulltime at 6. She just wasn't comfortable doing it before then. I still check her.

[littlecityfarmer]

I was just about to ask the same question... It sounds like we have a while to go before almost-4 yo DS wipes himself! At least he tells us now when he's poopy, rather than sitting on the couch without being wiped and leaving tracks on the slipcover!

[my2boys9703]

My boys were both 4 when they started to wipe themselves. We use the kandoo wipes and they are great!

[kblackstone444]

I'm really surprised at these answers. As a teacher in a public preschool, we're really not supposed to wipe children over the age of 3. For those of you with older children, especially the 5 or 6 year olds, what do you do when they're in school?

My son was 4 and my little girl was 3 1/2, by the way and if it was a home, we'd check to make sure they did a good job.

[annekevdbroek]

Ds just turned 4 in July. He has on occasion wiped himself - generally when I am not available (usually with the baby). I congratulate him on his accomplishment and move on. It is quite hard for him to reach all the way back there.... We keep wipes on the back of the toilet for BM clean-ups.

The first time he did it and told me I asked if he wanted me to wipe him too (after the fact) and he said "NO - I got it all!" Since he pants were already up I figured it was a done deal either way.

[newmommy]

:

[Adasmommy]

My daughter isn't wiping herself yet (she'll be three in a couple of weeks) but she and I use cloth tp (in other words, washable wipes, not toilet paper) and we usually use wet ones, because 1) it feels nice and clean and 2) I feel like that will get her cleaner when she does wipe herself with dubious skills.

Sanitary, frugal, and environmentally friendly

I am finding this very interesting though, because I have been wondering the same thing (and I get dirty slipcover phenomenon too : ).

[mamalisa]

Ds had just turned 4 when I found out I was pg. So I figured I didn't need anymore butts to wipe so one had to be eliminated. Ds lost We had the same conversations a lot of parents seem to have "What if I get poop on my hand?" We went slow, me checking after he wiped with wet wipes then him wiping all by himself. He did really well, but was resistant for a long time. There were a few standoffs but I had serious morning sickness at times and there was no way I could wipe. Just no way.

[mistymama]

For the mama who asked about those of us that wipe our kids who are in preschool ..

My son goes to preschool in the morning. He has not pooped at preschool in the last year and a half.

That said, he would probably attempt to wipe himself and I'm sure we'd find skid marks when he got home. Really not a big deal.

My son potty trained right at age 3 and there is no way in hell he would have been developmentally ABLE to wipe himself. I can't believe public schools expect anyone over three to be able to wipe themselves. Does not sound developmentally appropriate to me at all. :

[velcromom]

My ds2 is four and doesn't wipe himself yet. He tries, but can't get himself very clean and ends up with a rash. If he was in preschool this year and was expected to do it on his own, we'd have a problem.

[tuansprincess]

Originally Posted by mistymama

For the mama who asked about those of us that wipe our kids who are in preschool ..

My son goes to preschool in the morning. He has not pooped at preschool in the last year and a half.

That said, he would probably attempt to wipe himself and I'm sure we'd find skid marks when he got home. Really not a big deal.

My son potty trained right at age 3 and there is no way in hell he would have been developmentally ABLE to wipe himself. I can't believe public schools expect anyone over three to be able to wipe themselves. Does not sound developmentally appropriate to me at all. :

Well - doctors are still telling parents that children are developmentally unable to control their bladder and sphincter muscles before 2 yrs of age, but children all over the world (mine included) are proving them wrong everyday.

[mamazee]

My daughter just didn't poop until she got home from preschool.

She now, at 5, generally wipes herself but will ask me to double check after a "messy poop" and sometimes wants me to wipe so she doesn't get "a spicy butt". It isn't an issue very often at this point.

[SimonMom]

My ds started wiping himself at 2.5, and he would wipe until he was clean. He was actually very good at it right away. Anyway, he wiped faithfully by himself for 6 months or so, then about half the time he would want me to do it. Now, at over 4, I 've recently told him I won't wipe it anymore.

[KermitMissesJim]

My son is 7 and has some leakage; we use cloth tp and I check his wiping work and clean up after it. It's not my ideal situation.

As for school pooping, we have trained his body to poop before and after school. Not that he never poops at school; when he does he wipes as best he can and changes when he gets home, if necessary. I need to talk to him about this, thanks for the reminder.

[hipumpkins]

DD will be 5 at the end of October and within the last couple of weeks she has been wiping herself and there hasn't been any extra dirty laundry.
She is also just starting to require privacy which I love!! She closes the door "reads" her magazines.