inappropriate TV? WWYD? - Page 4

[guardandolaluna]

Originally Posted by Naturalyst

I unconnected the cable from our house for two weeks.

LOL that is funny! I actually rigged the TV so she only got BABY channel, Food TV and TBN! She turned it off and read a book

[guardandolaluna]

Originally Posted by Naturalyst

If none of this works - remind your son that some animals eat their young. :

[aniT]

I don't believe in parental controls. I have never turned them on and I do not intend to. To me turning those on says to your kids, "I don't trust you to make the right choice." Then again, I am also against censorship.

My 8 year old knows she is only to watch the "kid channels" unless she has asked to watch something else. She generally only watches shows she has already Tivoed.

Since we don't have movie channels there are no R rated movies for my 14 year old to watch on TV. And as I have said before, she regularly watches all three CSI's, Prison Break, Shark and other such shows. I am not really worried about what she watches. And she still goes through at least one book a week.

[UnschoolnMa]

No parental controls here either. Just eeks me out.

[Naturalyst]

Originally Posted by aniT

I don't believe in parental controls ... Then again, I am also against censorship.

My 8 year old knows she is only to watch the "kid channels" unless she has asked to watch something else.

Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.

While we never activated parental controls, we did set standards and I think most families do when what's available on their TV exceeds the maturity and understanding level of their children.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by Naturalyst

Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.

While we never activated parental controls, but we did set standards and I think most families do when what's available on their TV exceeds the maturity and understanding level of their children.

I disagree. Setting the controls on the TV tells your child you do not trust them not to watch inappropriate things on TV. Telling them to stick to the Disney's/noggin/nick/sprout channels without setting the controls tells them you trust them to stay within the limits.

Really I am not even sure if I have ever told DD to stick to those channels. I think she just sticks to them because that is what she wants to watch. And as I have said, she Tivo's her favorite shows and watches them later.

I tivo. You can watch what you want to watch when you want to watch it and don't have to worry about what time something is on.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by Naturalyst

Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.

I disagree that it's not a bad thing. I think you are right that most families do it though.

[Alenushka]

i THINK it is all depend on the child

and adn really, wher eis the limit...if yourkid want to watch bestiality videos on internet would you le thim?
IF you are no guding your child, what is the point of having parent? You can jsut give me $$$ and let him live on his own.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by Alenushka

and adn really, wher eis the limit...if yourkid want to watch bestiality videos on internet would you le thim?
IF you are no guding your child, what is the point of having parent? You can jsut give me $$$ and let him live on his own.

No one is arguing against guidance . . . but restricting doesn't equal guiding your kids any more than allowing them to choose what they read/watch/hear equals leaving them to their own devices. My daughter (the only child I have old enough to watch tv and express a preference about it) watches whatever she wants. However, she watches most things with us, and we talk about issues and offer our opinions as we go (or after, if we saw something in a movie theater). *That* is guidance.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

No one is arguing against guidance . . . but restricting doesn't equal guiding your kids any more than allowing them to choose what they read/watch/hear equals leaving them to their own devices. My daughter (the only child I have old enough to watch tv and express a preference about it) watches whatever she wants. However, she watches most things with us, and we talk about issues and offer our opinions as we go (or after, if we saw something in a movie theater). *That* is guidance.

Right. Not having prohibitions or bans on TV doesn't equal having no guidance or parental involvement. Very common misconception though...

[Stinkerbell]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

If you don't want him to watch those shows, then don't let him watch. If he keeps badgering you, I'd limit his TV time or choices even furthur to teach him that badgering me is NOT the way to go about getting what he wants.

ITA. We dont have any movie channels and we have parental controls so i can block tv shows AND movies with certain ratings. I have to put in a code to unlock anything above PG-13, and above TV14. He's testing your firmness and boundaries. If you feel that he should not watch XYZ, then you will have to make it so he does not have access to it.

[warriorprincess]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Op here....


2. I wish preteens came with a handbook about what they should be allowed to do and when! I know he si supposed to gain more freedom and make more decisions for himself over time, but when do we bend and how much? I do not know what is age appopriate and what isn't. I feel very confused.





Kathy

We are there right now with our 10 year old. DH and I are debating over whether we should let him watch "otherwise OK" media that has the F-bomb ( I say that since he knows that word, we should not let it's presence alone preclude something, but DH says it should) and what level of suggestiveness we'll allow (we let him watch some Firefly, but not where Inara's profession is specified). It isn't easy.

[purslaine]

Little update:

We told DS that every 2 or 3 months we would devote a week or so to screening shows he wants to watch. We will explain why the show is or is not OK with us, but that he is not to badger in the meantime.

We wil see how it works outs. I am happy with this plan, and so is he (he is pleased we will screen shows before refusing them, something I have rarely done in the past due to being so tired of the constant, daily nagging )

Kathy

[Quinalla]

Sounds like a good compromise. It wasn't fair for him to constantly nag you, but I am sure he feels it wasn't fair for you to forbid things you hadn't seen. I hope it works out for you and I completely agree with screening things based on age/maturity-appropriateness. It is tough to find the right balance between overprotective and too lenient!

[NaomiMcC]

Originally Posted by Morganfyre

Talk about a kid testing his limits! Do not give in. If you have to, remove the TV from the house. Get serious about it. If he complains, shove a book in his hand. I went for three years growing up at that age without a TV. I suffered no ill consequences, except that I acquired an expensive book habit! Pull the plug on what you deem to be inappropriate. It's called parenting, and far too few people are doing it now-a-days.

YES! I agree 100%. There are a tonne of movies and television shows we don't let our 12 year old son watch. Why? they're simply inappropriate...mostly the graphic sexual content and other inappropriate topics at hand.

We just say NO and that's the end of it. We keep reminding him that when he turns 17 he'll be able to watch whatever he wants and he'll have lots to catch up on However if he wants to continue to push, we'll simply not have anything and that'll be the end of it.

[pjlioness]

Another suggestion, somewhat NVC (www.cnvc.org). You could tell him that you aren't comfortable with him watching those shows just as you wouldn't be comfortable with the TV characters/situations being real and in your livingroom.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by pjlioness

You could tell him that you aren't comfortable with him watching those shows just as you wouldn't be comfortable with the TV characters/situations being real and in your livingroom.

Not picking on you but I have heard that before somewhere, and I am not sure I understand. I have enjoyed a variety of movies and TV shows that feature situations I'd never want to be involved in. CSI is, in my opinion, a really well acted show (well, the original anyway...lol) with lots of drama, dialogue, and twists and turns. I would be pretty irritated if the whole show was happening at my house though. Doing an autopsy in my living room would be pretty wrong to say the least... so does that mean we shouldn't enjoy the acting or the story?

Perhaps I am missing the point of the suggestion.

What about old Hitchcock stuff? Or Anne of Green Gables? Discovery channel even features stuff about disease and the History channel features some not so bright spots from the past. (WW II ?) It's informative and factual (one would hope anyway...) but not always something you'd want happening around you or in your home. Does that mean you shouldn't view it?

[pjlioness]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

Not picking on you but I have heard that before somewhere, and I am not sure I understand. I have enjoyed a variety of movies and TV shows that feature situations I'd never want to be involved in. CSI is, in my opinion, a really well acted show (well, the original anyway...lol) with lots of drama, dialogue, and twists and turns. I would be pretty irritated if the whole show was happening at my house though. Doing an autopsy in my living room would be pretty wrong to say the least... so does that mean we shouldn't enjoy the acting or the story?

Perhaps I am missing the point of the suggestion.

What about old Hitchcock stuff? Or Anne of Green Gables? Discovery channel even features stuff about disease and the History channel features some not so bright spots from the past. (WW II ?) It's informative and factual (one would hope anyway...) but not always something you'd want happening around you or in your home. Does that mean you shouldn't view it?

I guess that probably would work better with her objections to Family Guy. For CSI and other crime shows, she might tell him she's concerned about him (frequently) watching shows that have a murder in every episode, making it look like there is more crime than there is in real life.

[Tigeresse]

From someone who used to restrict TV and now does not....

I agree w/unschoolinma and others who have expressed similar views. I think our kids can be trusted with a lot more than we give them credit for, esp when parents remain involved. That said, my 11 yo is not interested in the shows OP has mentioned, but he has seen some R rated movies and plays some M rated video games. The one thing I do not allow is for him to talk on the xbox live mic until his voice changes. 8 yo ds plays xbox and has seen pg13 movies, yet he prefers more youthful games on Gamecube or his DS. He loves Disney Channel. I think the kids really can be trusted to distinguish reality from fiction, which I did not believe when my oldest was younger. He has turned into a wonderful young man, and not due to my earlier restriction on his media, I believe. He just had to work harder to get listened to by me and dh. Some may interpret this as nagging, but I see it as a child expressing his needs/desires (he also remained respectful of my fears when doing this) and having a parent that would listen. I hated while growing up when my parents would simply "lay down the law" without discussion, as if I had nothing of value to say. Made me more obsessed with "freedom" when I got older and made me want to get out of the house sooner. Not what I want for my kids.

I have found that since I have lightened up, there is very little desire for the younger kids to watch/play things that make *me* uncomfortable with their watching it. Lots more openess and trust all the way around.

[allgirls]

I have the parental controls on my tv BECAUSE my children have proven to me they cannot be trusted

My older kids are 13 and almost 17 and they will put on House(which I love) or CSI among other things when the little ones who are in the room.

My 4 year old is scared of the Harry Potter ads for goodness sake..she is so sensitive.

They have their own televisions and can watch pretty much whatever they want at the age they are at now as long as it doesn`t become all they do.

I kind of just play it by ear with the kids. They are all different, some more sensitive than others. My oldest LOVES scary movies, my 13 year old won`t watch them.

The little ones watch dvds and treehouse mainly.

BTW...my experience is that when my older kids were pre teen they were very mature and we did discuss tv and what I thought they should or shouldn`t watch and they pretty much made wise decisions. When they hit their teens, that changed, particularly with my oldest.

and I am totally against censorship...but I think I have the right to choose for myself and my family until my family are mature enough to decide for themselves. It`s not like the movie goes away. My 13 year wanted to see 8 Mile when seh was younger and I said no. She recently watched it and was ready for it I believe. I asked her, should you have watched that when you were 8 or 9, do you think it`s ok for `V` (my neice) to watch and she agreed it was too much for her.

anyway..I have to run but I am enjoying this discussion.