How much longer do we de-school?

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

My ds is 13 and i pulled him out of ps last Feb. And we did some saxon math and that's it. Maybe to chapter 3, so now 6 months later, he still is not showing many signs of wanting to know anything above what he already knows. He would rather sit and play video games ALL day. At first it was runescape for about 5 months until i found him instant messaging people at all hours of the night and i took his laptop away for a break. and now it's Halo 2 on his Xbox...ALL DAY. When i do limit that i see him more and really enjoy his company and our conversation. I guess i'm kind of answering my own question here. I need to set some sort of limit on xbox and or playstation. But how does limits fit into unschooling. I'm geting worried that he doesn want to do anything else...nothing else. He goes through spurts of being addicted to something for a few months and then changes to something else....i just wish he would want to read more books or do more outside activities. I suggest going differnt places and doing different things, but he would rather sit and play these games all day. I just dont feel that this is healthy behavior..it's hard on his eyes and...oh i''m venting....just seeking some advice form lax'd unschoolers.

[4evermom]

6 months doesn't seem like much time to me since it took my ds a year to recover from 10 half days of pre-k.

I know my ds is much younger, but his interests cycle with the weather. He tends to go heavy on the video games in the summer and winter. I just mention this because maybe the fall weather will make being outside and going places more appealing than right now. I do try to lure my ds outside for a few minutes at least, just to get a bit of sunlight and vit D. Does he have any friends to do things with?

[mommy2maya]

I think 13 yo boys, in general, aren't going to jump from regular school to wanting to school themselves. They are going to take advantage of 'de-schooling' for as long as they possibly can. It's like extended, no end in sight summer vacation- what teen do you know that would voluntarily end that??

[mary3mama]

I am ABSOLUTELY not the expert here. My oldest child is now 8, so I've never even encountered the reality of parenting teenagers...

That said, it seems to me that deschooling is only partly about getting a break from all that is school. The other part that he seems to be missing right now is reclaiming one's inner motivation -- which is spurned, I believe, by being passionate about something.

It seems that many children, after years of getting their daily ration of 'what do I do today?' need help to reclaim that ability to follow their curiosity --- and, hopefully, along the way, find their passion (even if only the passion du jour.)

So, he is passionate about these video games. Is he learning 'valuable' skills by playing them? If not, how can you use this passion to create educational stuff? Would he be interested in learning how to make his own video games? Not only would he be learning loads of stuff -- but could be developing a marketable skill.

I believe (maybe naively) that once he finds his passion about something, and is given the gift of being able to follow that passion where it takes him, he will remember what it feels like to be self-motivated.