Update
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We are home. I asked to leave the hospital a little early, and since we are both doing fantastic, it wasn't a problem...
I am thrilled to pieces that my little man is here.. I love falling instantly in love with someone whom you just meet.. I can't imagine my life without him..
As many of you have seen my recent posts, I've really falling to pieces lately. Instictively, I always knew he'd be an early bird, but I really didn't count on 11 consecutive days of "prodromal" labor.. Nor did I expect my son to be born during a lunear eclipse, he is definetely in touch with his world.. He's amazing..
On Monday 8/27, I had an ob appt. During the 45min car ride thru NJ commuter traffic, I felt my contractions turning the corner a little bit. Since this was day 11 of my "prodromal" contractions, I was really hoping this was the end of the line for my body.. The few nights before Gavin was born, I got a total of 5hrs sleep combined for 3 nights. The 3 nights before his birth, I was having contractions about every 8-10 min, and they were intense enough to keep me awake, or jar me awake... At this point I was really losing myself, my sanity, my hope for a healthy/happy birth.. It was a really tough time, as I knew my hospital would make it very difficult to VBAC in. Currently their c/s rate is 37%. And since I'm on medicaid, I had no where else to go, besides being comfortable having a HBAC.
On Monday, I had intense contractions, but knew I wasn't in active labor. At one point in the day, I told my dh that "I think I'm in labor".. My dh reacted like he did for the 10 days earlier, his response was something like "oh okay". And he probably knew this was just another cruel joke my body was putting on me. On Monday afternoon, I was able to take a pretty comfortable nap with DS1. Of course I did wake up every 8 minutes, and would have to fumble out of bed to get in a squatting postion to allow my body to work with the contraction. But on this day, I was able to fall quickly back asleep. And with this routine I had a nice 4hr nap w/ DS1. That night DH was to work until 11pm. He came home to dinner around 6pm, and as sure as he left to return back to work, my contractions really kicked in.. At this point I knew this was the real deal.. But I didn't say anything to him for an hr. I called him around 7:30pm and asked him to come home to sit with me and DS1.
By the time he came home I started saying, "maybe we should go to the hospital", mostly with the intention of leaving. DH, DS and I got in the car around 9:30pm... Now for me, the way I can tell I'm in active labor, is by having a contraction while in the car.. It's truly painful.. With each minute my contractions were more intense, and I felt like jumping out of the moving car, to try and help myself. We arrived at the hospital around 10:15 and I was put into a room. I was found to be 5cm and 100%.. Now since I have medicaid, I don't have an ob.. And I knew going into this, that I could have a supportive VBAC resident or a very negative VBAC resident.. But I keep telling myself it's really the nurse that gives the support..
Well I didn't luck out in either department. Both the resident and nurse were not VBAC supportive.. As soon as I arrived and was "checked", both the resident and nurse said "oh, you'll have this baby quick".. And I told them, don't count on it. They kept saying "this is your second, so you'll progress fast".. I told them, "give me 10hrs".. At this point I called my doula and informed her I was in the hospital. She was taken back, as she knew I wanted to wait as long as possible, but again this was another thing against my birth plan.. My doula was an old family friend, and had VBAC'd herself. She was very supportive of me, but rubbed both the resident and nurse the wrong way. Personally I'm a strong willed person, and have been to enough doctors to know how to approach someone, but she was defensive from the moment she got there, and there were numerous points that they told her, "you are not the patient we aren't asking for your opinion". I knew this was going to not be the birth I wanted.....
About 2 hrs later I was "checked", in the meantime, I was hooked up to monitors and told I couldn't walk out of reach of the machines. I wasn't too upset by this, as I was still squatting during contractions, and that was something that felt good. At the 2hr check, I was found to be "about a 6". The resident actually told me that "I was not progressing fast enough" He mentioned that I need to have my water broken.. This is where it all went out the window.. I questioned the need for breaking my water, and how I can make my babe's head malpositioned, or have a cord prolapse, or force a babe to be delivered under duress, or when he's not ready.. The resident's response was "but your uterus may be ready to rupture, and that's why you aren't progressing faster".. Now I went back and forth tactifully fighting with him, I was pretending to listen to what he was saying, but was knowledgable to dismiss his lectures, and bascially made him look stupid for making up his garbage information.. His ending response was that I was putting myself/babe in danger, as my "moving" was disrupting the montiors, and I need to stay in bed to keep them consistently on. At this point I was already beyond my breaking point and I know this was due to the 11 days of prodromal labor... Without anyone's knowledge, I actually told my dh the day before that I didn't know if I was going to be strong enough to attempt a un-medicated birth. At this point I was confined to a bed, and I knew there was no way I could labor naturally without having an epidural.. So I did something I never thought I would ever ever do; I consented to an epidural. Once I consented to the epidural, the resident tried giving me the advice that I needed to have my water broken.. I told him, I'd think about it. Now I wasn't going to do it, but knew the way to achieve my VBAC was to let this jerk believe he was god. I s/w the anestiologist and my concerns about the epidural, and how most importantly I'm allergic to the most common anesthia medication. I was given a different medication. Once I had the epidural, I felt like the biggest failure in the world.. I was speaking to my sister asking for her to help me.. Minutes later, I felt what I thought was the baby "cracking a body part", but it was my water exploding.. At this point I knew my sister was with me. Once my water broke, my body went into overdrive. Within an hr I was passing thru transtion and started feeling pressure. With the epidural I was on, I still had a lot of pressure and vaginal sensation. I felt my body releasing and felt my baby descending lower and lower.. I knew at this point that I would have my VBAC. Secretly I told my dh and doula that I was going to push on my own terms, and for them not to get involved with the nurse barking "pushing commands" on me. When I was found to be fully dialated, my babe was at 0 stage. Well, with 5 strong pushes, my baby was birthed from my body...
Watching my baby born through a mirror was amazing. I had great control and tried to have him safely enter the world. He was born at 3:52am.. I pushed for less than 10min.. I delivered my placenta very easily, and was told I had a small tear. Unfortunately being allergic to the standard anethsia, made my stitch work go un-medicated.. I will say, being stitched up with complete feeling was horrific. The resident, who I believe was angry that I proved him wrong was being extremely rough. And he was fighting with the nurse, as she later admitted to me that he was a jerk, and had previous problems with being rough with patients.. I will try my best to not ever think about that experience, or the fighting or the words that were spoken, as I don't want to take it away from my successful VBAC..
Thru it all, I VBAC'd under what is seemed as impossible conditions.. I am amazed I was able to achieve this. I feel so empowered as a woman, and grateful my sister was watching over me....
I feel so blessed with the wonderful gifts life has given me...
(and for the record my baby was born with a full head of dark hair, as I envisioned he would be, as he'd look like my sister)
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.. Even during the stitching after I tore, never did he say, I'm sorry this hurts, or congrats on the baby. Nothing... I can't wait to complain about to the clinic..
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