My Dd just turned 4. I'm big on putting words with emotions so that she will learn to explain what she is feeling, so I try to always talk with her about what I think she is feeling (I don't tell her that's what she is feeling, I just talk about how I feel sometimes or ask questions that use descriptions of emotions). She's been able to express verbally when DH or I have hurt her feelings for a while now (usually in response to us unintentionally doing or saying something to her - she's pretty sensitive).
The last few days have been a big rough at our house. She just started a new school, and I feel certain that this is part of the adjustment. Plus, the LO (15 mos) has had an ear infection and wants to be held nonstop. So, I've been trying to really be patient, give her lots of love, etc. But still we've had a few no-go moments where she hurt her sister, and when I firmly tell her we don't hurt each other, she'll then run off, cry and say "you hurt my feelings."
This morning she spilled a bag of her "treasures" (rocks, shells, checkers, random fascinating things, etc). When I went to help her pick them up, she screamed at me "You have to clean it up, it's your fault!" Ok, not sure where that came from - we don't talk about who's fault things are. So, I gently said "Hey, let's clean it up together. It's not anybody's fault, you just accidentally spilled your bag." So, she stomps off, and cries and tells me that I hurt her feelings.
I know this shouldn't be that hard, but I'm really at a loss for a good, simple, effective response to this. I think it's more that she's embarassed by the situation. I always try to hug her and give her lots of love, but I feel like I need to explain the difference of having your feelings hurt vs being embarassed. But maybe I don't?
: So, give me your good answers, wise mamas!
The last few days have been a big rough at our house. She just started a new school, and I feel certain that this is part of the adjustment. Plus, the LO (15 mos) has had an ear infection and wants to be held nonstop. So, I've been trying to really be patient, give her lots of love, etc. But still we've had a few no-go moments where she hurt her sister, and when I firmly tell her we don't hurt each other, she'll then run off, cry and say "you hurt my feelings."
This morning she spilled a bag of her "treasures" (rocks, shells, checkers, random fascinating things, etc). When I went to help her pick them up, she screamed at me "You have to clean it up, it's your fault!" Ok, not sure where that came from - we don't talk about who's fault things are. So, I gently said "Hey, let's clean it up together. It's not anybody's fault, you just accidentally spilled your bag." So, she stomps off, and cries and tells me that I hurt her feelings.
I know this shouldn't be that hard, but I'm really at a loss for a good, simple, effective response to this. I think it's more that she's embarassed by the situation. I always try to hug her and give her lots of love, but I feel like I need to explain the difference of having your feelings hurt vs being embarassed. But maybe I don't?
: So, give me your good answers, wise mamas!
hugs mama!
