School stuff squicking me out. - Page 6

[MillingNome]

My biggest problem is it sounds like it is not a choice. I too have nothing to hide but still do not want my kids' teachers to demand the right to come into my house and I do not appreiciate that my child could face blowback for merely invoking my right to privacy. How's about I demand to go into my dc's teachers' homes. You know, just to get to know them better since they will be spending so many hours with my kids. I'd like to take some pictures and look at their favorite possesions. No problem, right :

[MillingNome]

Originally Posted by SquishyKitty

OP, I think you really have an opportunity to form a great bond with your child's teacher, and getting to know her on your own terms in your home helps too.

Them demanding to come into her home and take pictures is not on her own terms.

[MillingNome]

Can you tell I'm really bothered by this!?!?


:

[SquishyKitty]

They are not demanding anything, and I'll bet if the OP called the teacher and explained she's not comfortable, or would rather meet at school, they really wouldn't care.

It's for the teacher to get to know the student, not to document the kid's life at home and make notes just in case they're not up to standard or something.

[MillingNome]

From the op post:

This year the PreK teachers (the teacher and the teacher’s asst) are *required* to go to each one of their student’s homes. I immediately ask why.

bolding mine.


I read demanding and required as if not one in the same, nearly the same. And once again, that is where I have a problem.

[SquishyKitty]

Yeah, we were told the same thing, and forgot to respond by the due date, and never heard anything back

We had to call to schedule something after school had started. Honestly, it is not a big deal. They say required, but I'll bet nothing will come of it if the OP doesn't want to do it.

[splendid]

The OP has already said she likes her child's teacher/knows them personally. I think her concern is those people who cannot make time for the visits or the family in her updated post.

Also, she does state the things that are required in her county have to be done or the child loses his/her spot.

[SquishyKitty]

I would put money on the OP being able to call said teachers and saying "hey, we've already met and talked about DS, can we skip the home visit?" and I'll bet she'll get a 'Hey, no problem".

This has nothing to do with "The Man", mandated reporters, or teachers lurking at people's homes sniffing out things to report to CPS.

[Molliejo]

Ibtl!!!!

[*Jessica*]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

(2) Judgments will be made. My dd may be very smart and organized, and clean etc., but our home is rather messy and comfortable. Not dirty, not disheveled, not filthy - just a rather messy and comfortable. We co-sleep and have more cats than are technically permitted by ordinance (thanks to the realtor purposely telling us the wrong info when trying to sell us the house). We have two big barky dogs that are really very sweet, but don't seem that way at the fence. The yard is somewhat unkempt because I work pretty long hours, dh works weekends, and neither of us is much of a gardener (working on it, though!). We also live in quite a small house in an overall area with mostly larger, fancier homes. I know for a fact that teachers (and generally all people) do make judgments about families and children based on what they see at the home, whether reasonable or not. We may be perceived in all sorts of ways from the outward appearance of the house that is really inapplicable to the support dd will receive for school, her intelligence, or her social skills. I can't imagine wanting to invite one of my child's teachers to my home, but if I did, I'd want it to be an invitation and on my terms, not sprung on me as a requirement.

I would feel differently if it was something along the lines of, "We've initiated a program at X school that has been very successful in helping students relate to teachers. It's called the Teacher's Visit, and involves you child's teacher coming for a brief, friendly visit to your home to get to know your child a bit better. This is an optional program, but we've found it to be beneficial for students, parents, and teachers. Your child's teacher will contact you to ask whether you'd like to participate and set up an appointment." I'm still not sure if I'd do it or not, but I'd be much more likely to agree to it that when it's presented as mandatory.

That's what gets to me, too.

[PajamaMama]

"AROOO!?!" is right!

I have never heard of this before. I don't think I would like it, and I live in a newer, clean, well maintained home with matching furniture and a bedroom for each child, etc etc etc.

[LookMommy!]

When dd13 was in Kindy (in America) at a private school, we were friends socially with her teacher. We adored her, as did dd. Dd was friendly with her daughter as well.

We had her over with her family for Shabbat lunch a few months before she was dd's teacher, and to reciprocate, they invited us once dd was already in her class.

Dd, who at the time was a nice little girl and very good student FREAKED OUT that we would be going to her teacher's house. We had destroyed her boundaries, and she had a total melt down (extremely embarrassing) at lunch, crying hysterically "I want to go home".

To this day, she doesn't like when we meet with her teachers or interfere in "her life". Even at camp, where dh is the director and I am the parent liaison, she prefers that we keep our distance and not directly approach her or her friends (she is willing to visit us, or to comandeer her little sister though).

Ds11 (with PDD) and his class all hosted "open houses" rotating among the students. I didn't want 7 kids and 5 teachers in my house (self conscious about the general state of the apt) so I prepared an activity at a nearby field. Apparently, I didn't follow the unspoken rules of "guests" so when my turn comes again this year, I have to do it "right" (according to my ds). Ugh.

[Mom4tot]

Take pictures...??? Huh??

Yuk. I would call the school and refuse.

[SquishyKitty]

The pics are of the kid, and the kid and parents together. They built a big "My family and me" mural in his class, and his pic was for his seat or desk or cubby for the first day, so he would recognize it.

I don't understand why everybody is up in arms over this. People are constantly talking about being a community, or wanting to be in a community. The teachers are doing this not in an attempt to snoop or find bad things, but to work with the parents and meet the kids before the first day. I'd imagine it helps for the kids who might be nervous as well. I haven't heard anybody have a bad experience over this. It's for the kids, not for anybody else.

I am not trying to get this thread locked, I just really think there is too much being read into this whole thing.

[katheek77]

Haven't read other responses.

The fact that it's "required" is the issue. As a former teacher, I think it's good to see the child in his/her home environment, in a comfortable setting, etc. It also gives the child a chance to be introduced to you on HIS turf, so to speak. Far less intimidating than entering a classroom with 20 other kids you've probably never met before, as well as a teacher you've never met before. But to require it is over the top, although I don't really know why people would object. But that's just me.

That said, I also invited students (with parents) to my house before and during the school year for different get togethers...it's much less formal than meeting them in "school", and the students/parents could address things they wanted without feeling like everything was being scrutinized. I frequently had kids on the Indian rez. show up at my door wanting help with this, or asking me about that.

I'm not seeing the big deal.

[vbactivist]

[QUOTE=splendid;9032779]In some areas your child loses there spot in the (public) school/program.

/QUOTE]


I would love to see a link backing up this claim.

[MillingNome]

[QUOTE=SquishyKitty;9034783I don't understand why everybody is up in arms over this. People are constantly talking about being a community, or wanting to be in a community.[/QUOTE]

My biggest problem is it sounds like it is not a choice. I too have nothing to hide but still do not want my kids' teachers to demand the right to come into my house and I do not appreiciate that my child could face blowback for merely invoking my right to privacy. How's about I demand to go into my dc's teachers' homes. You know, just to get to know them better since they will be spending so many hours with my kids. I'd like to take some pictures and look at their favorite possesions. No problem, right

Is the converse true? Would it help to build community by requiring the teacher to open her house to all the parents? Let them come with camera in hand?

Please don't think I am against parents having teachers in their homes or a policy thats states teachers can visit homes at the request of parents.

Can you not see how it can be considered by some an invasion of privacy and a hardship if they have to take time off work

[phathui5]

I actually find this to be more invasive than anything I've experienced after having my son in the public school system for 9 years (counting kindergarten). I'll make no bones about hating the public school system with a passion...but at least they've kept out of my house.

If you hate it so much, why do you use it?

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone

Is the converse true? Would it help to build community by requiring the teacher to open her house to all the parents? Let them come with camera in hand?

Please don't think I am against parents having teachers in their homes or a policy thats states teachers can visit homes at the request of parents.

Can you not see how it can be considered by some an invasion of privacy and a hardship if they have to take time off work

YEs, I believe the converse its true. It would be great if the teacher oppened up his/her home to the parents and children.

And yes, I see how it could be a hardship if a parent needed to take off from work. Hopefully though, the parent is home sometime and they could schedule it for then. And most people aren't objecting to it because they are working, they are objecting to it because the teacher is a "stranger" or "the man", etc, etc.....

[Meg Murry.]

Originally Posted by SquishyKitty

I don't understand why everybody is up in arms over this. People are constantly talking about being a community, or wanting to be in a community. The teachers are doing this not in an attempt to snoop or find bad things, but to work with the parents and meet the kids before the first day. I'd imagine it helps for the kids who might be nervous as well. I haven't heard anybody have a bad experience over this. It's for the kids, not for anybody else.

I am not trying to get this thread locked, I just really think there is too much being read into this whole thing.

It's rude.
It's very difficult to be a "community" when someone ignores the rules of respect that need to exist between and among individuals within a community and assumes they have the right to dictate that they will visit you in your house when they want.

Sorry. Don't let the doorknob hit you too hard in the back.
I find it rude. I find it an invasion of privacy. I also find it potentially prejudicial. Here's what I mean: My DH and I both have excellent educations -- graduate degrees from a very selective private university.

Well, basically, that and five bucks will buy you coffee at Starbucks. Whoop-de-doo, in other words. Long story short, we live in a lower-class area of town, one not considered "nice." Our house, by the standards of the city we live in, is very small and modest. Our neighbors have untrimmed grass and the occasional car on the lawn.

We chose this house and chose to live modestly out of our own convictions of what was appropriate and affordable for us and I am not for one minute sorry that we're not living in a stucco McMansion. However, what would embarrass me would be the judgment of someone else and far more importantly, how that judgment would affect how she would treat my child. I don't think I need to paint anyone a picture about how rich, middle, lower-middle, and poor people are treated differently in this society, do I?