School stuff squicking me out. - Page 2

[splendid]

There's a difference between be invited over vs mandatory visit. No one likes being told "I am coming over be ready for me", not the best foot to start off on IMO. Maybe if she gave OP the option of picking a day/time vs telling her when she and the aide were showing up.

We don't do that in our school system. Wonder if any of the parents have refused.

[Alana]

I remember my Kindergarten teacher coming to visit me at my house. I was SOOOO excited and when she finally pulled up I was beside myself. I think it was the most exciting thing that happened to me in elementary school.

[LavenderMae]

I would not be comfortable with that at all. It's one thing if the parents invite the teacher to their home it's a whole other thing for the school to mandate such an arrangement.

Originally Posted by Meg Murry

For one, although we homeschool and our house is clean and presentable and free of illegalities that I know about, I am not comfortable with a perfect stranger who will have control over our daughter and therefore our lives seeing our home when she has not been invited to do so, but rather has invited herself using the school as a strong-arm crowbar to do so.

Secondly, it smacks of policing parents.

Thirdly, it smacks of policing students.

It's an invasion of privacy.

: Although my home is not always presentable.

[rabrog]

The "thinly veiled CPS" thing is crap, IMO. Don't read so much into a home visit. If there is a threat in the home, the teacher is going to get far more information from the child at school, outside of the home, than coming to the home.

It's just to get to know the child, to associate the teacher in the child's world - nothing more.

Jenn

[superstella]

I just enrolled my ds in headstart, and there was a mandatory home visit that they didn't even INFORM me of until they showed up at my door. : Can y'all imagine what my house looked like? I didn't invite them in! We sat on the porch and filled out paperwork, and I flat out told them that they wouldn't be visiting the interior of my home uninvited.

I don't think it's a good idea to make it mandatory. Like someone else suggested, if it's a way for my child to meet his teacher before starting and if that works for my child then great. If not, then that should be an option. Some people are going to be thoroughly embarrassed by their homes and that shouldn't factor into whether or not a child gets to attend preschool.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by KimProbable

If you ever read Neufeld's Hold On to Your KIds, he actually describes this very set-up (teacher visiting their future student in their home) as being ideal.

Originally Posted by Calidris

I rather like this idea, a bit like the old time village school where the teacher would drop in on various neighbours and so on. It would definitely help for some children to see the teacher as a family friend rather than this alien in front of the classroom.

The problem I have with this view of things is that, to the best of my recollection, Neufeld was talking about a situation in which the teacher was already known to the parents and the rest of the community. The teacher probably was a family friend, or at least acquaintance. These days, the teacher is a stranger, and while I think it's great for teachers and parents to get to know each other to at least some extent, I don't see any reason why that has to be in my home.

I don't let random strangers into my space, and the teacher who will be teaching my child is a random stranger. I don't know if I'd refuse the home visit or not...but it would make me horribly uncomfortable, and it wouldn't allow me and the teacher to get to know each other at all. The picture-taking aspect of it bugs me. Some of my family members have pictures taken in my home, as do one or two of my friends...but I don't let people I've never met come into my house and take pictures. This is my space.

[eclipse]

My son's teachers are doing this this year, too. Frankly, it weirds me out a little because I'm not really comfortable having company. I have an anxiety disorder, and having people in my home can trigger it. However, I'm going to let them come over if it works out with my schedule because I figure that it's good practice for me. I need to get over it so my kids can have friends over more frequently. I also see the value in it for some of the reasons mentioned above. As well, I already know one of his teachers fairly well (he was ds' teacher last year and I actually went to the same high school as he did, and knew him in passing there) and it's a small co-operative school and I like the idea of fostering community. Still, it squicks me out a bit, too.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride;9024858I don't let random strangers into my space, and the teacher who [i

will[/i] be teaching my child is a random stranger. I.

This opens up another line of thought - why would one be okay witha a perfect stranger teaching their child? I would much rather meet the perfect stranger before school starts, on the home court with just me and my child there, rahter than sending my child off to some strange building with a bunch of other strangers to meet the perfect stranger who will be his/her teacher....

[mshollyk]

yeah that IS weird. how is it not illegal, also?

[beanandpumpkin]

If it were optional, or heck, even recommended, then I'd have no problem with it. But REQUIRED?? What are they going to do if you refuse? Get a warrant? Refuse to let your child go to preschool? Will it go on his "permanent record"? (snicker)

Um, no. Even though my house is sanitary and we're not doing anything illegal, I'd probably refuse just on principle. People have to be invited to my house, they can't strongarm their way in, even if they are an "authority figure" (which I don't think a teacher is, tbh).

[eclipse]

Oh, I have no idea if they intend to take pictures, but I probably wouldn't let them. If they want pictures from home for a project, I have no problem providing them myself, but they won't be taking any of their own.

[mom de terre]

I pity the teacher.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

This opens up another line of thought - why would one be okay witha a perfect stranger teaching their child? I would much rather meet the perfect stranger before school starts, on the home court with just me and my child there, rahter than sending my child off to some strange building with a bunch of other strangers to meet the perfect stranger who will be his/her teacher....

Well, I for one wasn't okay with sending my child off to public school. I was depressed for months that I was putting him into the same hellhole that I'd been through.

However, I met the teacher when I took ds1 to his first day of school, which gave me about as good a grip of who she was as having her over "for tea" would have done. She was going to teach my son. My concern was whether she was a competent teacher, not whether she and I could be chums - and I wasn't going to find that out based on having her come to my house. It didn't matter whether I liked her or not (my feeling about ds1's teachers has been split about 50/50), and I can't see what difference a single meeting would have made. In my book, someone you've met once, under highly artificial circumstances is still a random stranger. I actually can't see why a random stranger couldn't teach my child.

I really dislike the idea of putting a random stranger into the category of family and friends in my child's head. I really don't think that ds1, at five, would have been able to grasp that this person was only in our house because it was part of her job. I feel the degree of trust that would have been instilled in ds1 by her presence in our home was totally inappropriate, as she was a stranger. This might not apply to other people, but the only people who are/were ever in my home are family, close friends and the occasional repairman. My son's soon-to-be teacher is none of the above, and had no reason to be in my house.

[ShadowMom]

The big problem here is that it's not OPTIONAL.

It would be a wonderful idea as a way to open the lines of communication if it was something that the teachers wanted to do and offered to do.

That's not how it's being presented here.

There's no way I would allow that teacher in my home.

And I sure as heck wouldn't allow anyone to take pictures of it - not only is that a violation of privacy, it's a security risk. Especially since you already know they are planning on POSTING the pictures in the school - all it takes is a janitor or outsider looking for a great place to burglarize, and there ya go, he's got lots of great info.

The fact that these visits are required makes me very suspicious of their motives.

[MamaWindmill]

Gee, should I let the state-run school mandate an intrusion into my home by a stranger? Um, yeah, no.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by MamaWindmill

Gee, should I let the state-run school mandate an intrusion into my home by a stranger? Um, yeah, no.

I'd be much more worried about the intrusion into my child's mind by a stranger, rather than his/her home.

I really hope those of you who ahve a problem with this are homeschooling.

[MamaWindmill]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

I'd be much more worried about the intrusion into my child's mind by a stranger, rather than his/her home.

I really hope those of you who ahve a problem with this are homeschooling.

Good point (and to answer your question, in my particular case, we're unschoolers).

[vbactivist]

well, we homeschool as well. But you probably already guessed that

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by Elyra

I feel this is a very thinly veiled attempt for the teachers being mandatory reporters to go into the home and asses *risk factors* for the children. Can you believe this? So does this happen elsewhere? Is this normal? Should we be helping to organize and keep this from happening?

What do you think of that?

I agree with you.

Originally Posted by absinthe

I think it would be a deal breaker for me. My home is my PRIVATE space. I would be uncomfortable with being told I had to allow someone who is in fact an agent of the government to inspect it. Do they bring a warrant?

:

Originally Posted by Calidris

I rather like this idea, a bit like the old time village school where the teacher would drop in on various neighbours and so on. It would definitely help for some children to see the teacher as a family friend rather than this alien in front of the classroom.

It would also be a good way to have communication between the teacher and parent.

But then I guess, from other posts I have seen here, that many Americans have a much more "closed" attitude about friends and neighbours. Just dropping in seems to be seen as very bad manners
So I guess the idea of having the teacher over for tea would not appeal.

Originally Posted by Meg Murry.

The idea of MY INVITING the teacher over for tea would appeal just fine.

I object to the teacher and the school inviting her FOR me.

: I HAVE invited teachers/teacher's aides from my DS school to my house because I like them and want to get to know them better. They don't invite themselves and tell me it's "mandatory".

Originally Posted by splendid

There's a difference between be invited over vs mandatory visit. No one likes being told "I am coming over be ready for me", not the best foot to start off on IMO. Maybe if she gave OP the option of picking a day/time vs telling her when she and the aide were showing up.

Yes, it seems the school equivalent of "Brace yourself Effie, I'm going in!" as foreplay.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

I'd be much more worried about the intrusion into my child's mind by a stranger, rather than his/her home.

I really hope those of you who ahve a problem with this are homeschooling.

I dislike the intrusion into my child's mind by his teachers. However, I consider the home visits to be:
1) an intrusion into my home, not only my child's, and
2) a way to give said teacher more ability to intrude on my child's mind, a la Neufeld...this gives a total stranger the legitimacy of a family friend or relative.

I'll be homeschooling my younger three. DS1 is in public school.

However, why should we be homeschooling, just because we don't want our children's teachers thinking they have the right to come into our homes? This is a privacy issue for me...it's not only about my children's privacy - it's also about mine. I can assure you that, as an older student, I wouldn't have wanted any of my teachers in my house, and if they'd tried to take pictures, I'd have busted their camera. When I was taking evening classes, I wouldn't have wanted my teacher in my home. Why would I change my attitude about that, just because it's my child's teacher, not mine?