School stuff squicking me out. - Page 5

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by Synthea™

Anyone who is a mandated reporter is "the man" as far as I'm concerned.

The ENTIRE state of Indiana is "the man"?

Here, the "mandatory reporting" laws do not have anything to do with job description, our laws here are that ALL adults are mandatory reporters. This applies to both child abuse AND elder abuse.

I am NOT the man.

[bobica]

i remember (waaaay back when) when i worked in a special ed preschool that home visits were part of the package. but that was special ed- not disctrict wide! it seems very odd to me.

[Elyra]

Sorry it's taken so long for me to get back to this.

There are a lot of good points made on many levels here.

My initial reaction when she told me, was a wth. Then my stomach clenched up and I didn't have warm fuzzies. That was my first instinctual response. The one I do not have voluntary control over.

My more rational mind says no biggy. I *like* his teachers a great deal. In fact I had already put them on the invite list for ds's birthday party. What's different in our case is that this is ds's 2nd year with the same teachers. He knows them, the classroom, they know him and all of his asd traits, the teachers and I see each other 2x a day where they have always taken just a few moments to brief me on his day, and I always do the same in the mornings as to his mood and how sensory effected he is that morning. Anchoring communication in my case was a joke! We have an already set relationship and my ds loves them. I don't care if they come over, I do care that they are pushing it on everyone. AND from what they were saying was if you don't comply you kid could lose their spot because they have so many on the wait list. Like only if you play by their rules you can get in. We don't anyway. The school is really really really familiar with me, and all of our little......differences. We (the school and my family) have a good relationship tho.)

I don't feel his teachers are strangers. But in the beginning of the year, most of the time they are. I was lucky to have ds1's teacher become my friend during the year, and we got our children together, we spend time together, my family is welcome in her home and her family is welcome in my home. Just as a matter of the mandatory reporters, not only is she a teacher, but her dh is a local police officer. So it's not a matter of me being uncomfortable with that in our case. Again it's the tone I feel the school is using.

Now pictures, not going to happen. I don't give the schools consent to ever use likeness of my children in any form, video, still, drawings whatever. I have my own reasons for that, but I make sure they know in writing and do sign all the forms that I decline.

I do worry about teachers assessing risk factors for families in general. It just *feels* wrong to me, and that's why I posted to kind of get an idea of is it just me?

I am in NE NC in a small town. It's near Virginia. The school is a PreK-3rd grade primary school.

For us ds went 3 hours last year. He will start the same 3 hours as per his current IEP, but we will be trying full day to see how he does after our IEP meeting. He craves the structure and routine, and I am too fluid and relaxed at home to give it to him. I try, but it is a conflict of my personality traits and it ends up just with both him and myself melting down. So all in all I am happy with this school based on our experiences from last year both with my ds1 and ds2.

Oriole you sound like you really appreciate your role in helping to guide children. Thank you. Your perspective is very welcome in this thread, no tomatoes from me.

[Elyra]

Originally Posted by bobica

i remember (waaaay back when) when i worked in a special ed preschool that home visits were part of the package. but that was special ed- not disctrict wide! it seems very odd to me.

You know what, I actually expected this since we work hand in hand with special ed. That's how I fostered a friendship with the ladies in that dept. But it really does seem off to me just because.

[Nikki Christina]

Originally Posted by Alana

I remember my Kindergarten teacher coming to visit me at my house. I was SOOOO excited and when she finally pulled up I was beside myself. I think it was the most exciting thing that happened to me in elementary school.

this was my daughter. she even arranged things in her room so that the teachers would see them good

we had home visits when she started 4K (at public school) & then when she started kindergarten
this year she started 1st grade & weve moved since last year..she was upset that her teachers wouldnt get to come see her new room,pool, bunk bed..etc

I liked the visits.. felt like i knew the teachers who would be caring for her better.
we went to open house this year & it was very busy..i didnt get to talk to her teacher much.. if i didnt allready know the teacher (i watch her kids in my nursery at the ymca) i would have been more bothered by not having the time to talk & get a sense of who she was

[thekimballs]

I would be totally squicked out, but not for CPS reasons. I think it would cement in the teacher's mind the differences between the kids (economically and socially) that would not necessarily be so obvious in class.

I know in this area, we are in a bottom-rung house (which still cost $300K). We were told there was hardwood under the carpet, so almost a year ago we ripped up all the carpet. Yes, hardwood--with a thick layer of tar (old linoleum adhesive) on it. We can't afford the four grand to re-lay floor, and we're allergic to carpet, so we have the ugliest and yuckiest floor in the world right now. Every piece of furniture is old and nothing matches right; it's clean but very definitely the opposite of luxurious. There's no lack of dog and cat hair floating through the air. If my kids' teachers came into this house, especially after being in the $1.2 million houses owned by several classmates, there is NO WAY they wouldn't associate this house or my unfashionable clothes or a hundred other things with my children, no matter how neatly dressed and pressed and organized my kids are when they walk into the classroom.

Teachers are human. I taught too. In the classroom, aside from kids who are obviously not even getting their hair brushed in the morning they're basically coming in on a more or less even footing. After I'd been invited over to a few homes, it really was impossible for me to not picture little Davie waking up in his 250-sq-ft room with his bed shaped like a pirate ship. Honestly, AS A TEACHER if I wanted to get to know kids before school I'd much rather have a "tea" with parents and prospective students at the school, or at a park, or something like that. I didn't like knowing so much about kids' monetary and social advantages, or lack thereof.

[Elyra]

It is very timely that you make this point.

Today was therapy day, adn while our theaprist was here for ds3 she is sweet to take on both ds2 and ds3 since she did ds2's therapy last year.

Ds2 tells her that "Mrs. X and Mrs. Y are coming to my house tomorrow." He is very informative so it wasn't said as and exicted thing, it was on the same level of my mom is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and I ate bacon for breakfast tone.

The EI therapist who does dozens and dozens of in home vists daily was appalled!!! That was surprising to me. I really thought she would give me great insight as to why this is a good thing. The first thing she said was "why so they can come in and start judging?" and added "teachers are only human, they see something they don't like and it will get passed along." And my favorite things was what happens if they ask to go to the bathroom and get shown to the out house." Yes, we live in a place where outhouses are common.

We live in a very poor area in general. She was saying how parents are going to have to miss work and what about the kids that live in houses that aren't nice and told me about a client that lost part of the roof of their trailer in a tornado a couple of weeks ago. She has personally called several government agentices for help, but no one says they qualifiy for their assistance. There is no money to fix it, and the best anyone could do was The Red Cross donated the tarps they put over the roof.

What about the children that live there? If a teacher comes in a sees that condition are they required to report it to cps? I love our therapist, and perhaps she is required to as well, but she is the one making contact to help them get help. So I admire her for what she is doing.

[trinity6232000]

My dd's school does this, but it's a choice of the teacher if they want to do it. Dd's preschool teacher (she isn't real touchy feely) didn't do this. BUT her Kinder did, and a couple of weeks ago her first grade teacher came for a visit. It was nice, short maybe 30-40 minutes, and dd was SO excited that her teacher came to see HER! They talked about school, and the differences between first and Kinder. Then the teacher gave me some information, and papers so I could have them ready for registration and wouldn't have to fill them out at the school.

I don't really look at it as a big brother issue. I think it really does benefit the child. I think that with all the issues with education teachers are looking for better ways of connecting with their students.

[MillingNome]

Sooo, um what happens if you say thanks but NO THANKS?

[Nankay]

My friend's ds' pre-k teahcer came to visit. The theory is it makes the kiddos more comfortable seeing and relating to the teacher at school after seeing and playing with the teacheri n "his space". ILess of a stranger in a strange place feeling the 1st day of school. It wasn't an inspection. The teacher came in sat in the living room and chatted and played with the kiddo for about 45 min .

[turtlewomyn]

I am down here in Florida, and my SIL is a teacher. I was having a discussion with her and another woman (family friend) with school age children, and there was some county here in Florida that was also doing home visits.
The SIL and family friend both sort of felt that this was imposing on the teacher, and could potentially be dangerous for the teacher.
So, it doesn't necessarily mean they are targeting you or anything.

[MillingNome]

Originally Posted by turtlewomyn

So, it doesn't necessarily mean they are targeting you or anything.

That's the whole problem with it in my mind. The teachers (for the most part) are not targeting anyone. It is the system. Systems are like sharks. I try to avoid them. Why would I allow one in my house? I'd break out a copy of the Bill of Rights and inform them as far as I can tell, the Fourth Amendment is still in effect. While my child may have a right to an education at a public school if I choose, the school (as an arm of the government) DOES NOT have a right to enter my home

http://usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/...cs/billeng.htm

[pranamama]

when I had my first child, I remember people telling me that headstart came to your house and looked in your fridge to see if you had enough healthy food to eat. I was shocked and didn't ever look into headstart. I think at the end of the year, when things are winding down and the teacher isn't a stranger, We'd enjoy a visit, but not first thing.

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone

Sooo, um what happens if you say thanks but NO THANKS?

They tar and feather your child, so that on the first day of school the kids have a reason to ridicule them.

What do we think is going to happen?

I have seen a movement of teachers trying their hardest to bring changes to the students they teach.
I've watched several programs on PBS about teachers wanting to make a difference and home visits
are a part of that change.

I can understand how we should be cautious, if you get a icky feeling from the teacher or school district
then refuse. I do personally believe it's meant to benefit the child, more than it's used as espionage.

[splendid]

Originally Posted by trinity6232000

They tar and feather your child, so that on the first day of school the kids have a reason to ridicule them.

What do we think is going to happen?

In some areas your child loses there spot in the (public) school/program.


That is so said about the family who had the tornado. I guess when the teacher comes they have to report that family?

I also think it is great that the teachers are reaching out, BUT, I would like to have a say when they come to my home. What about those parents who cannot afford the time off for the mandatory visit?

[greeny]

I hope that the reason for wanting the teacher to visit each child is to get to know the child better, so the child will be less apprehensive and scared on the first day. If the child doesn't get to know the teacher, he'll be in the care of a total stranger on the first day, and that can be really scary for little kids. Meeting the teacher ahead of time can make a big difference. And coming to the home in addition to meeting at the school can make the teacher seem more like a friend than a stranger. That's what I hope the point of the home visits is.

But my suspicious voice inside says, "Why do they need to come to the house? Why do they really want to take pictures? Are they really trying to evaluate me and my family for something in some way? Why?" And then I feel all nervous inside!

My dd starts pre-k this September, and each student/parent meets with the teacher ahead of time at the school. For us, this is a fabulous thing. Dd takes a little while longer than other kids to warm up to new people and new situations, and I think meeting the teacher and seeing the classroom ahead of time will help her a lot. If the school did do home visits, I would actually look forward for a second opportunity for dd to meet the teacher and, hopefully, develop a friendship with her before school starts.

But I would also be nervous about the whole being-evaluated thing. And the whole "mandatory" part skeeves me out too.

[Asher]

I'm in NC, too. My kids are in public school and this has never come up here. It bothers me b/c my home is my sanctuary. I barely want people I KNOW coming in to it. People I don't know coming in, looking around and taking pictures? Ummm...no...thanks.

[ksmeadowlark]

My 3rd grade teacher made a point to come to our homes at least once during the school year and I still remember it fondly. I was so excited to have her come visit--I remember she went out to the swings with me and was so nice to my parents.

I would go visit my students at home at the beginning of the year if I didn't have 148 of them :

[Rainbowbird]

I am a teacher, now SAHM, and DH is a teacher, too. We may be mandated reporters, but it's not something we take lightly. I have had to call CPS exactly twice over the past 17 years, and in both cases there was serious concern of either sexual or physical abuse. I certainly wouldn't pass judgement on a parent because the house was dirty or anything like that. BTW, I didn't have to do home visits as a teacher, I only went when invited.

I don't see myself as "the man" at all! I am a parent myself and have all the same concerns about parental rights as anyone else does.

On the other hand, I really feel, as a parent, that a mandated visit can seem rude. I think if they really want to make it a part of the program, they should ask in a more polite way...make it an option for parents who really are up for it. It seems too one-sided to make it a mandatory requirement.

Personally, I wouldn't object to a home visit by my child's teacher, although they don't do it in my district. I am comfortable having them over. And as a teacher, I would love to be able to visit students at home, but only if the parents really felt good about it. That is why I think it should be optional.

When I taught, I was invited to students' homes for dinner and birthday parties. I loved that the families thought enough of me to have them to their homes, and getting the chance to see the child in an informal setting. It was fun for me and them.

Like one of the PPs mentioned, it saddens me that people view educators so negatively and harshly...99.9% of us are super-hardworking people who love children and are trying to make a difference in every child's life. We are constricted by school boards as to how we can make that difference...there are things we have to do as part of our job that we might not philosophically agree with, but that doesn't make us "the man" or someone who is going to fill your kid's head with dogma. The teachers I know are all about helping kids to learn to THINK for themselves and become problem-solvers, not parrots spitting back dogma...

Just my two cents!

[SquishyKitty]

DS's kindy teacher did the same thing the OP is describing. We didn't mind it, DS loved having her here, showing her his room and his toys, and then seeing his pics from home around the classroom. It made him feel a little more comfortable to see home during the day as well. DS has some special needs, so it was nice to sit down with a cup of tea and talk to her about them in a comfortable setting.

OP, I think you really have an opportunity to form a great bond with your child's teacher, and getting to know her on your own terms in your home helps too. I don't know about you, but I feel really akward going into DS's classroom and trying to fit on the tiny chairs and just feel goofy. Sit on your own couch, let her talk and play and get acquainted with your child, and offer her some tea and relax. She'll be able to see how your child lives at home, and hopefully use that in the classroom.

DS's therapist did this when he was in preschool as well. She is still a close family friend and DS runs up to her whenever he sees her. I don't think this has anything to do with the man, I think maybe it's just a little offputting because I don't recall this ever being done when I was young, so I can understand how this might be a little strange, but really, try to embrace it. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.