Sorry it's taken so long for me to get back to this.
There are a lot of good points made on many levels here.
My initial reaction when she told me, was a wth. Then my stomach clenched up and I didn't have warm fuzzies. That was my first instinctual response. The one I do not have voluntary control over.
My more rational mind says no biggy. I *like* his teachers a great deal. In fact I had already put them on the invite list for ds's birthday party. What's different in our case is that this is ds's 2nd year with the same teachers. He knows them, the classroom, they know him and all of his asd traits, the teachers and I see each other 2x a day where they have always taken just a few moments to brief me on his day, and I always do the same in the mornings as to his mood and how sensory effected he is that morning. Anchoring communication in my case was a joke! We have an already set relationship and my ds loves them. I don't care if they come over, I do care that they are pushing it on everyone. AND from what they were saying was if you don't comply you kid could lose their spot because they have so many on the wait list. Like only if you play by their rules you can get in. We don't anyway. The school is really really really familiar with me, and all of our little......differences.
We (the school and my family) have a good relationship tho.)
I don't feel his teachers are strangers. But in the beginning of the year, most of the time they are. I was lucky to have ds1's teacher become my friend during the year, and we got our children together, we spend time together, my family is welcome in her home and her family is welcome in my home. Just as a matter of the mandatory reporters, not only is she a teacher, but her dh is a local police officer. So it's not a matter of me being uncomfortable with that in our case. Again it's the tone I feel the school is using.
Now pictures, not going to happen. I don't give the schools consent to ever use likeness of my children in any form, video, still, drawings whatever. I have my own reasons for that, but I make sure they know in writing and do sign all the forms that I decline.
I do worry about teachers assessing risk factors for families in general. It just *feels* wrong to me, and that's why I posted to kind of get an idea of is it just me?
I am in NE NC in a small town. It's near Virginia. The school is a PreK-3rd grade primary school.
For us ds went 3 hours last year. He will start the same 3 hours as per his current IEP, but we will be trying full day to see how he does after our IEP meeting. He craves the structure and routine, and I am too fluid and relaxed at home to give it to him. I try, but it is a conflict of my personality traits and it ends up just with both him and myself melting down. So all in all I am happy with this school based on our experiences from last year both with my ds1 and ds2.
Oriole you sound like you really appreciate your role in helping to guide children. Thank you.
Your perspective is very welcome in this thread, no tomatoes from me.