persistant 3yo...HELP!!!! :0

[MommyHawk]

I am done!!!!!!!!! I just don't know how to handle my determined persistent strong willed 3yo! He is almost 4, but still...when will it end!??!??!? I have 2 other boys here today, one that is 3, and I asked all the boys, including my son, to chill on the couch or on the floor with a book for 'quite time' while I put the babies down for a nap (yep, it's 5 kids to 1 mommy today!...) my son STILL won't be quite! The other 3yo is still talking in a quiet voice, laying on the floor with books and toys...my son was hitting, jumping on the couch, screaming, talking and basically NOT being quiet...and now that he has lost his privilege to lay out with the boys, he is still noisy in his room! Determined to not be quiet or wake up the babies...I don't know what is going through his brain! He's smart, way too smart for his age, he is strong willed, persistent, determined...just like me...how do I help him understand his temperament and still get along with the world that is full of rules and boundaries?!?!? Would school be better for him than homeschool?!?!? I'm not sure what else to do. I'm about to resort to spanking and we have a no spank rule...but I'm done....:

[mariamaroo]

Hang in there Mama! I just wanted to reply and say I understand how you're feeling… I know the moment is over now, but I really feel for you. Hope the rest of the day was a little easier.

[MommyHawk]

maybe it's just 3yo behavior...I'm hoping that I do better tomorrow. I think he just 'needs mommy time' more often than I can give when I'm 5 to 1, or even 2 to 1...

[crazy_canuk]

Hey, I have one of those, except now he's 5! I know how crazy it can be. : Hang in there and do give him as much 1:1 as you can.

I found 3.5 to 4.5 VERY difficult with my ds and the only thing I found to somewhat work (completely dependent on consistency) were clear and explicit boundaries. Having clear expectations and immediate, logical consequences seemed to be the only way to get through the 'discovering just how much power I have' phase.

[MommyHawk]

Originally Posted by crazy_canuk

'discovering just how much power I have' phase.

Is THAT what it is?!??! So clearly state what my expectations are ... all the time... and follow through... and be consistent...

man, some days it works, other days I just feel like I'm playing in one big long game that has no end, and I hate playing games (in this sense) I just never win! :

[Magella]

I think it's harder for some kids to do quiet time (especially without direct supervision) than it is for others. This does make putting babies to sleep challenging at times (btdt).

If you haven't already, get your hands on a copy of Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This book has some great information on temperment, and some wonderful ideas for working with a spirited child's temperment so that life isn't one power struggle after another.

[MommyHawk]

I have and am now reading Playful Parenting (which I could have written myself since that's what we do naturally I guess) but it's just, yeah, the power thing and I have to be in the room or holding him in a cuddle for him to rest for a quiet time...however I have found that if we ALL lay down together, me, the baby, and the 3yo, that he doesn't fight, he just settles in and falls asleep (this happens at night) so that is what we are going to do from now on for night time so I don't feel torn between who gets mommy first (because neither want Daddy ... I mean, oh, poor daddy...

anyway, I just play it by ear and am going to a spirited child class thing next month to check it out...when do they grow out of it?!?!? I try to be outside as much as possible, but we have a inground pool in the back and a busy street in the front...next spring we're getting the pool baby fence so that will be good, and my garden is going to get bigger, so I will just send him outside to wander and discover. I think that outside time really helps him organize and be calm. Where is my 5 acres when I need them!