I want one more - Page 3

[fantesia28]

Birthnbunnies~ I understand - if you are going to consider adoption it doesn't hurt to at least get the process started!

[PGTlatte]

I'm sorry you are in this position....I hope that works out for you.

Originally Posted by Birth&Bunnies

Dh had a vasectomy the end of July........ Now I'm actively keeping track of cervical mucous and other cycle symptoms in the hope that there are some swimmers around.

[mama to 2 girls]

Originally Posted by fantesia28

I can so sympathize as I am trying to work through a similar situation with my DH. We also have two children and I want a 3rd while by DH doesn't really want anymore. I really truely feel like I have a child missing - if this is a crazy/obsessive feeling then there are alot of crazy people out there.

I don't feel like this feeling will go away and am trying to figure out what I need to do/say to my DH to really help him understand. Though, I am sure he does as this conversation comes up very frequently in our house.

I guess I really wish I knew what DH is thinking as he says he doesn't want anymore, but sometimes he thinks things that he doesn't necessarily share with me if that makes sense? It's kind of like when we wanted a new puppy - he said no over and over and finally he agreed. He now loves the dog and she is part of our family. I guess I just wish I knew if he would change his mind you know.

We have casual conversations and ones where he jokingly will say "let's make a baby" only to go and grab a towell (I know, TMI). At one point he said maybe and then backed out and said no. I know that he knows this is a very real topic for me and that it's not going to go away - he even said that this weekend when I apologized for bringing this up constantly. He said he knew it was still going to come up.

I truely wish that he would just change his mind and agree.

On a side note: I wander if dreams come true?? I had a dream this weekend that I was pregnant with Twins (a boy/girl).

If anyone has a thoughts on what to say/do to help the situation I would greatly appreciate hearing them and I look forward to hearing more on this topic.

I could have written this post! Down to the very last word!!

I have been watching this thread lately and it is so comforting to know I am not alone!

My dh knows how sensitive I am about this subject and yet he will still say things like....alright lets try for a boy! Only to laugh and tell me I am crazy, when I get excited! :

We have had a couple "oops" moments over the last few months and I have obsessed over EVERY little symptom each time only to come up with NOTHING! Unfortunetly neither of us are super fertile! :

I just keep hoping each month for another "oops" (dd2 was an "oops" baby). I have a feeling this is the only way I am going to have another.
The newborn stage is REALLY awful for both of us, neither of us like it, but i still feel like I have one more in me.

Only problem is dh kind of knows when I am fertile I guess I should quite telling him and writing down on the calendar when I have AF! That way when he asks me if it's "safe", I'll say SUUURREE! I know I am evil!

[PGTlatte]

It sounds like maybe he got tired of talking about it and stopped. It's hard to know if anything you said may have had some influence after he thought about it for a while or not. For you, I hope so.

Originally Posted by fantesia28

I truely am looking for outsiders insight as to how you think the conversation went. He really didn't say anything either way and then went to sleep. He could have been thinking anything.
.

[RetroMom]

We're going through the same thing... We have 3 kids, and I KNOW we're supposed to have 4. I've dreamed about having another baby boy many times. Told my dh, and he doesn't want any more kids. He's almost 43, and I'm barely 36---not too old, but not quite young either. My heart breaks to think of us not having another baby; it feels like a part of me is missing. I love the children I have and am so grateful to have them, but...I just cannot shake that nagging feeling of there being one more baby we're supposed to have. The only regrets I've ever heard from anyone were for not having more children, not for having too many.
BTW....I'm a couple days late. Hmmmm..... :

[sea_joy]

Compulsion?

The "compulsion" word is stuck in me head. It seems to me that a "compulsion" is a psychological thing, feeling in your heart you have another baby to have is another.

Reducing a woman's "desire" to have a child is to reduce womankind to an errtic bundle of nerves and hormones, unable to control herself, and unable to understand why.

I have two more kids to have, (My Mom is always trying to tell me to have four, but nope, there will be three). DH and I talk a lot about child spacing, sometimes he'll say- "I don't want any more kids" but that's just when he feels overwhelmed. Then he'll say he wants more. I just came back to pre-pregnancy weight, and I'm thinking about trying again.

Actually DH and I don't "try" and we don't "Not Try" our method of birth control is pulling out, and just waiting to see what happens. The only problem with this is that every month we have to deal with "am I or aren't I?".

Anyway, I will end up having two girls and a boy...I just know it
Crystal

[filiadeluna]

Originally Posted by llp34

I am pretty pissed that he decided for both of us long ago that two was it. I don't believe he has ever considered for a moment how I feel about it or what I want.

I can completely relate to that sentence. We are TTC #1 right now, but my husband has made it clear that he absolutely doesn't want more than 2, and that he will get a vasectomy as soon as #2 is born. That really made me angry, frustrated, and sad. : For all I know, two may be enough once I get to that point, but as of right now I would like to have 3.

I just don't understand why our DH's think it is their decision alone.: If I told him I didn't want any kids, he would feel the same way - angry, frustrated, and sad. Sometimes it is the other way around where husbands want more kids than the wives do, but WE are the ones who have to carry them!!!

How much different is it going to be to have one more child once we have two? It's not like he has to give birth to any of them, you know? It just irks me. I don't really have any advice because I am in a similar situation, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone.

I am an only child, and while it was nice to not have to share & to get all the attention, I missed out on having automatic playmates and all the good things that can come from having siblings.

Oh, and another reason I would like more than 2 is because I desperately want at least one daughter (wouldn't mind if I had all girls, but a mix is fine), and our chances would be better with more children. If I end up with two boys and he won't agree to more, I will be severely depressed. I have a difficult time relating to little boys because I am super-girly. Plus, I was raised by my mother & we were and still are very close. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity for a mother-daughter bond like that. Boys can be wonderful too, I know this, but it's just not the same as having at least one child the same gender as me.