shocking institutional nosiness - Page 2

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by josephine_e

as far as liability, i'm sure you have a lease agreement that keeps them from being liable. after all, if you decide to get up on a ladder in the middle of the night and do the hokey pokey and fall off, they won't be liable because of the wording of the lease agreement, right?

: This visual, the walkie talkie for sex, the poop-package... Too much!

I had my dh read this and we are both just dumbfounded. "Whaaat?"

They want to be all concerned? Try again. I have parents, thank you, and their names aren't [insert name of law school & dean].

[flapjack]

Maybe I'm the only person who sees this from the other pov. I was living in student accomodation when I got pregnant with DS1, and the student tutors and dean popped down for coffee because the word had been passed over from "the office" to say I was struggling with hyperemesis, keep an eye on her because she may need extra help. There's enough stories in the UK news about teenagers and university students who birth alone and unassisted through fear- or through not realising they're pregnant- and subsequently dump the baby to put the wind up any university who is being criticised for lack of social support for their students.

[bryonyvaughn]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Maybe I'm the only person who sees this from the other pov. I was living in student accomodation when I got pregnant with DS1, and the student tutors and dean popped down for coffee because the word had been passed over from "the office" to say I was struggling with hyperemesis, keep an eye on her because she may need extra help.

While both your situations involved school administration and a conversation with pregnant or PP mom, I consider them entirely different situations. Yours was proactive and supportive. Jster's was after the fact panic and upset which *adds* to the burden of a new mom and leaves her feeling unsupported. As has been mentioned they lied to her about the reason/agenda for the meeting, and then falsely used their position as landlord as authority over her birthing choices.

~BV

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by milkydoula

Wow, just wow.

Do they want you to inform them when you have sex too? I mean, after all, you could pull a muscle :

yeah, you may not be able to reach the phone because of the pain.

what complete idiots! do they even realized what came out of their mouths?!?:

[Meredith&Alexander]

I think you need to write a brief on privacy in the landlord/tenant realtionship and submit it to them. Maybe they'll take a hint.

[Jster]

Thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts (and humor, always appreciated )!

I'm still really upset with this. I just feel very, very invaded by the school right now. Partially its because there have been issues before (the woman in charge of housing came into our house once, completely unannounced, while I wasn't home, and proceeded to comment on my housecleaning. Yeah, like a single lady has any idea what its like to be a full time law student and mother, and to hell if breakfast dishes are left on the table until dinner time : its none of her business). When she came in, she violated FL statutes, except her excuse was a clause in the lease saying that the landlord may enter at any time if "life, limb, or property" is in danger. Which I'm guessing is what they would have used to interfere with my birth, had they had the opportunity. And these UA violations are very upset that they didn't have a chance to disrupt my very private act of birthing. I can only imagine what they would have done had I not consented to their involvement...the housing lady made a veiled threat before of calling CPS. Also, last week we just so happened to get a code enforcement person from the city coming by, the timing was, shall we say, perfect for them to have called in a complaint in a retaliatory way. Because we are using the carport for storage :

Uggh. And for the record, Flapjack, none of this is to provide social support at all, the school is definitely not concerned with HELPING here, just interfering. I really wish they were interesting in making life more livable for the students So here I am, three weeks postpartum, homeschooling for the first time, trying to struggle through a few credits of law school classes, and looking at classifieds for houses we could rent, dealing with code enforcement breathing down our necks : It makes me so frustrated and angry. Anybody have a hug? This is what leads to ppd, I tell ya. It's not the birthing that causes the problem, it's the crazy world which doesn't take care of families that's the problem.

[channelofpeace]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. You can absolutely have a hug

Hope you can find another place to live.

[heathenmom]

Originally Posted by Jster

This is what leads to ppd, I tell ya. It's not the birthing that causes the problem, it's the crazy world which doesn't take care of families that's the problem.

: and a great big to you.

[HarperRose]

Another from me!

[Romana]

I'm so sorry they have been intrusive and unsupportive. I think stories like this are why I have never told anyone IRL we had an unassisted birth (hosp. transfer). I don't think it's the kind of thing people understand at all. Most people struggle to wrap their heads around homebirth and you can give them studies from respected journals proving it's safe. I wish more people "got it" - but they just don't.

Anyway, I hope you're able to move out of that housing soon. It sounds like you have so much you're trying to do right now. Things will get better soon.

[paquerette]

Hugs and good thoughts coming your way. I'm very, very outraged for you.

[ScarletBegonias]

BIG for you mama!

[mrskennedy]

Originally Posted by Jster

This is what leads to ppd, I tell ya. It's not the birthing that causes the problem, it's the crazy world which doesn't take care of families that's the problem.

I couldn't agree with this more!!! You're so right, and it's so sad! People are SOOOOO :

again!

[jimblejamble]

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz

That's insane.

Call them next time you have an unassisted bowel movement. Maybe even send it to them so they can see it came out ok.

I can't see at all how it's a liability issue. Like if something happened to the baby you'd sue them?

I just coughed up my spaghetti laughing at that!! ^__^