Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › We can't send him back...My worst nightmare has happened
New Posts  All Forums:
 

We can't send him back...My worst nightmare has happened - Page 4

post #61 of 96
9/3/07 at 2:18am

You may also like:

The Hidden Risk of Epidurals
5 Simple Tips for Staying Healthy
The Case Against Inducing Labor
post #62 of 96
9/3/07 at 4:01am
Loving thoughts to you and little Nathaniel.
the moms here have such good things to share and we care how you and your little one are doing!
post #63 of 96
9/3/07 at 4:19am
Maybe it's become cliched, because this essay has been around so long, but I know it was a help to dh and I when we were first learning about our ds's dx but..... Welcome to Holland, mama.

It's not where you wanted to go, it's not where you planned to go. It's scary and upsetting to have everything turned upside down on you. It's ok to mourn for the child you dreamed of and didn't get. It doesn't seem like it's possible now, but it gets better. Really.
post #64 of 96
9/3/07 at 3:30pm
You fit in perfect right here. : It's a hard pill to swallow when it's not what you expected.
post #65 of 96
9/3/07 at 7:30pm
Still thinking of you and your family and sending our prayers for Nathaniel.
post #66 of 96
9/3/07 at 11:58pm
Sending you lots of hugs mama! I want to ditto what everyone else has said. Do you know if there are any parent support groups for special needs kids in your area? The hospital social worker probably has good resources for that. When we started teh process of OT and getting a DX for Ds when he was 2 I started goign to parent meetings for parents of kids with special needs and it was amazingly comforting. It seemed like I had a really long road a head of me but seeign how much these other parents had dealt with gave me such strength. The group was for parents of kids all the way through highschool. There were many parents of autistic and downs kids there. I remember one mom bringing in pictures of her DS at prom. Her SN child had attended prom, enjoyed school and made friends. I always remember that when I worry about DS's future. I think finding others in your area who can relate could be a big help with understanding your feelings and working into the new path that has been lain in front of you.

I think being resentful of parents with healthy babies is completely normal as well. My oldest was born at term but I had a placental abruption and she had a lot of complications. We were at a small hospital so she was the only one in level II nursery that was adjacent to the regular nursery. I remember crying as I watche dother parents going into the regular nursery and being able to hold thier babies. And then hating them as they came and stood at the window with a look of pity on thier face. I finally asked that all the shades be drawn because I couldn't bare it, I didn't want anyone to see her like that and pity me. The point is, I was reassured that my feelings were completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Its a huge shock to be expecting to be able to jump into parenting your baby and then not be able to do so like you had planned. Don't come down too hard on yourself, you're human.

Anyways, big big hugs! My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
post #67 of 96
9/4/07 at 8:22pm
Thread Starter 
Looks like another four weeks in the hospital while he learns to eat from a bottle. I am completely overwhelmed.

He is tolerating my breastmilk just fine and has gained 11.5 ounces over his birth weight.
post #68 of 96
9/4/07 at 9:59pm

Bless you!

I will pray for you and your baby and I ask any other mothers who read this to pray to whoever they believe in to send strength and peace to this mama.
post #69 of 96
9/4/07 at 11:46pm
Fabulous that he is tolerating your milk and gaining weight!

I know it's very hard to hear that you'll have four more weeks of the hospital trips to cope with. Is there a local Ronald McDonald house that might be able to help out? Be sure to get everything you can from the hospital social workers by way of suggestions and support. Anything that can make this time easier for you is a huge thing.

I remember when I was admitted with my son the first time I got into this mindset that I had to do it all and nobody could help. My son's nurse told me in no uncertain terms that I was wrong about that. I know you're already not trying to manage on your own, as I stupidly was. But don't be afraid to ask. People will come through for you.

Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you... Fiona
post #70 of 96
9/4/07 at 11:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by momuveight2B View Post
Looks like another four weeks in the hospital while he learns to eat from a bottle. I am completely overwhelmed.

He is tolerating my breastmilk just fine and has gained 11.5 ounces over his birth weight.
The additional 4 weeks really sucks... BUT that is awesome news about the weight gain and tolerating your breastmilk.
post #71 of 96
9/5/07 at 12:12pm
Thread Starter 
I am getting a breastpump today from another mom that posts in my local tribe. I am so excited because this will really help me and take a little stress off.

We have tried RM house a few years ago when one of my older daughters had surgery. It wasn't really helpful to us because it was so noisy there with people coming and going. I can get more rest at home even with driving back and forth. I also need to see and reconnect with my family each day. I would be too homesick staying there by myself. I nurse my daughter too and so have to come home to nurse her.
post #72 of 96
9/5/07 at 6:44pm
Nursing two must be very hard right now with the commute.

I was thinking more if you could stop in there for free meals and a chance to relax. But if you don't find it a relaxing place, then obviously that's no good.

Again, I will be thinking of you. I remember this very hard time well.

Fiona
post #73 of 96
9/5/07 at 10:05pm
First, congrats on your new baby.

Next, you can AP even if your child has special needs, it's even more important, IMO. Having a SN child really puts the emphasis on the *attached* part of the AP 'label' (which I really don't like labels). Having a SN child made me question nearly every single thing I do, almost on a daily basis. You have to balance what your instinct is with what you *know* you have to do. Yes, things are different, but you will adjust. You will love him. He will know that. You do what your child needs, even if it doesn't fit into the checklist of 'ap'.

Hang in there. Again, congratulations! He IS a blessing.
post #74 of 96
9/15/07 at 9:41pm
Thread Starter 
Just a quick update. I am in love with this child more and more each day. We have been home since Monday, I have a great milk supply but he is still taking bottles, not as well as we would have hoped but making slow progress. He does latch on the breast and likes to comfort suck but not getting milk that way and doesn't like me to do compressions. We just have a lot to work on.

He is a blessing and I am growing in faith each day.
post #75 of 96
9/15/07 at 9:45pm
what an absolutely lovely update!
post #76 of 96
9/15/07 at 10:15pm
I'm so happy about this update. Thank you for posting.
post #77 of 96
9/15/07 at 10:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by momuveight2B View Post
Just a quick update. I am in love with this child more and more each day. We have been home since Monday, I have a great milk supply but he is still taking bottles, not as well as we would have hoped but making slow progress. He does latch on the breast and likes to comfort suck but not getting milk that way and doesn't like me to do compressions. We just have a lot to work on.

He is a blessing and I am growing in faith each day.
Reading this update just made my evening. I am so happy for you momma!
post #78 of 96
9/15/07 at 10:55pm
I am so happy to hear that he is home and that you are feeling so much better. You are doing great!
post #79 of 96
9/15/07 at 11:01pm
What a great update! Welcome home, little one
post #80 of 96
9/15/07 at 11:29pm
I am so happy for you both!
That is so wonderful that he will comfort nurse - that must be a joy and source of comfort for both of you, and perhaps as he grows, he will be able to nurse.
I am still praying for you and Nathaniel (what a beautiful strong name!) and I am sure you are glad to be home.
Keep us updated, mama! We care.
New Posts  All Forums:
 
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Special Needs Parenting

You may also like:

The Hidden Risk of Epidurals
5 Simple Tips for Staying Healthy
The Case Against Inducing Labor
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › We can't send him back...My worst nightmare has happened