How would you feel about this?

[Chinese Pistache]

I got a note home from ds's teacher. She said in it that she begins having parents volunteers 6 wks after the school year starts and after that, she only has one volunteer every 2-3 wks. She then said, "I'm very good at multi-tasking and need very little parent help. If you're still interested in volunteering, you should join the PTA. They never have enough help."

My ds is in the 1st grade.

I'll respond after I hear your responses

[zoebird]

i'd say "yay, i'm off the hook."

because honestly, these mandatory volunteering things in schools really BUG me. as if people don't have enough to do.

i mean, if i'm supposed to volunteer in school for my kid's education, why not just educate them at home and not worry about school, etc? and particularly if i'm paying for private schools. geez. i'm paying them to educate my kid.

not to say that one shouldn't be involved, but the concept of mandatory volunteering bugs me--and it's very popular here.

[delphiniumpansy]

I'd just ignore the note. As a former elementary school teacher, I am a bit appalled at her lack of decorum but nothing you can do about that. I'd just ignore the note and consider yourself off the hook for volunteering at school this year.

[Mom4tot]

If I wanted to volunteer in the classroom with my son, I would make that known to her.

[Hannahsmummy]

I think on the one hand many parents would probably feel like the previous poster and be relieved that they did "have to" do something. I assume it was meant to be a positive though the PTA statement kind of bothered me as I read it as a brush off.

Personally, I would be bothered by it and really want to be a part of my child's school. It probably makes a difference to how you take my response that we are a Waldorf/Steiner family and that one of the things that is very important to me is the sense of family and community that volunteering at my daughters school brings.
It is important for our daughter to see us making an investment in her school (she does perceive the financial one!) and it being an extension of her family life. I think there is only positive in her seeing us take care of her classroom and be a part of the experience.

You are expected to "volunteer" at our school and I do it happily and willingly by cleaning the classroom once a week and being involved in school activities.

[elizabeth rose]

I would take it to me she resents having parents in the classroom, I would have to wonder why.

[TiredX2]

I would be totally uncomfortable with that answer.

Ideally, I would volunteer in both of my kids classes each week.

When DD was in 2nd grade both DP & I volunteered once a week in her class. Generally I was working one on one with kids and DP helped with math most often (it was a split class and he would help the youngers).

DD was in 3rd grade last year and the teacher only allowed one volunteer a day. At first I was a bit upset that both DP & I couldn't go in weekly (we really like to stay in touch with our kids AND show them we consider their education an important activity). Then she explained that if you are volunteering for her she will have actual *stuff* (like copying, or a project) to do. BUT, you were welcome to simply visit any time you wanted Very happy about it and DD has the same teacher again this year.

DS was in Kinder last year and I wasn't assigned weekly, but ended up being an art helper and being "on call" so ended up there about weekly anyway. I'm not sure how his teacher will be this year.

I can't imagine a teacher not wanting more help! Even if you just are taking bulliten boards apart or setting up stuff for lamination, I really like seeing what my kids are doing. Also, it lets me get to know all of the kids in their classes.

At this age (6 (AS OF YESTERDAY!!!) & 8) I can't imagine only volunteering maybe once a year in their class (also, that just doesn't make sense to me--- how about art days, class parties, field trips, etc... those alone happen more than once a month).

If the teacher is set on this and you were otherwise happy with the class I would ask the librarian, music teacher, pe teacher, drama teacher, lunch supervisor, whatever if they would have volunteer opportunities.

[LauraLoo]

Truth be told, I didn't volunteer in my ds' classroom last year to help the teacher. I volunteered so I could get first hand insight on how my ds was doing socially, academically, etc. I didn't mind helping out and it seemed like a much less intrusive way to observe. The teacher welcomed parent visitors and volunteers anytime, so like elizabeth rose said, it seems a little odd that she's basically telling you she doesn't need any more help. I would think that teachers would be asking for more, not less help and that she's already chosen the volunteer parents. If I had gotten the note, I would have been miffed.

The school that ds will be going to this year has a much more friendly parent involvement philosophy/strategy than last year's school. We went to orientation this past week, and you could really tell the difference in viewing the parents as partners and as an integral part of the community from the way the teachers, admins, and returning parents interacted. They offer many opportunities to be involved, and some of them sounded really fun. This is a much smaller school and it's charter, so I'm assuming that makes a little bit of difference. I agree with hannasmummy, I think it's very important to be involved in some capacity because I also see school as an extension of ds' family life.

[Chinese Pistache]

Originally Posted by elizabeth rose

I would take it to me she resents having parents in the classroom, I would have to wonder why.

Originally Posted by LauraLoo

Truth be told, I didn't volunteer in my ds' classroom last year to help the teacher. I volunteered so I could get first hand insight on how my ds was doing socially, academically, etc. I didn't mind helping out and it seemed like a much less intrusive way to observe. The teacher welcomed parent visitors and volunteers anytime, so like elizabeth rose said, it seems a little odd that she's basically telling you she doesn't need any more help. I would think that teachers would be asking for more, not less help and that she's already chosen the volunteer parents. If I had gotten the note, I would have been miffed.

This is how I feel. I personally don't like volunteering. I could do without the tediousness of making a zillion copies and cutting out leaves. But I want to see how this teacher interacts with her students and how my ds is doing in her classroom. I want to get a feel for how he spends so many hours a day.

We have a back-to-school night next week and I'll be talking with his teacher. Any ideas on how to discuss this with her? She seems very Type A and I get the feeling that she doesn't have many parents who question her.

As an aside, I read the note to a friend and asked her impression. She said the teacher sounded like a control freak and she wondered if the teacher doesn't want parents in there because she's a yeller or something like that.

[Maggieinnh]

O.k., please bare with me here, I am a foreigner and would like to know what you all mean by "weekly volunteering in the classroom"???
Are you actually in class when the teacher is teaching the children? Do you help the teacher to keep the class quiet, hand out books? What else do you do while the class is being taught, do you sit in the corner and wait for the teacher to give you an assignment?
Do all schools do this or only private or public schools???
What do you mean by "being a visitor" in the classroom? Does that mean that you can just walk into class while it is being taught to observe?

[Chinese Pistache]

Originally Posted by Maggieinnh

O.k., please bare with me here, I am a foreigner and would like to know what you all mean by "weekly volunteering in the classroom"???
Are you actually in class when the teacher is teaching the children? Do you help the teacher to keep the class quiet, hand out books? What else do you do while the class is being taught, do you sit in the corner and wait for the teacher to give you an assignment?
Do all schools do this or only private or public schools???
What do you mean by "being a visitor" in the classroom? Does that mean that you can just walk into class while it is being taught to observe?

A lot of schools have parents volunteers come daily to help in some way. I have friends who have helped kids who were struggling with an assignment (read to them, helped them with math, etc.), though when I volunteered last year, I just did paperwork (grading, copying, putting together folders, materials, etc.). My ds's teacher had a calendar and she wanted someone everyday. It was very tedious because she had me down weekly (I guess there weren't enough parents who signed up).

The school we go to (public) doesn't have any sort of mandatory volunteerism. The local charter and private schools do, though. I don't know how "visiting" works at all. The school does encourage everyone to join the PTA and promises pizza parties to the classes with the most sign-ups :

Ideally, I would like to help out once a month, but as I'm finding out, it really depends on the teacher.

[LauraLoo]

As far as how to bring up the subject with the teacher......
It sounds like either she really is a control freak, or she's had a bad experience with parent volunteers.....or both. It could be something totally different. I guess the way that I would bring it up is to say that I was disappointed that she doesn't need volunteers because I was really looking forward to helping with my dc's class. Maybe emphasize that it is important to be involved not only with the school, but with your dc's class. Maybe ask if there was anything special that you could do to help.

Maybe if you open the door just a little bit, she'll soften and let you in.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by elizabeth rose

I would take it to me she resents having parents in the classroom, I would have to wonder why.

Definitely this. Reading this makes me glad that son is at a co-op, and on any given day there are several parents in and out of the classroom.

[GuildJenn]

When I taught we had a rule that parents could not volunteer in their own child's classroom. I know as parents we want to go and see what's going on, but as an ed assistant - man the horror stories I could tell you.

Anyways, just wanted to say that I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign about her approach - it may be that she has had bad volunteer experiences.

[momtothree]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

When I taught we had a rule that parents could not volunteer in their own child's classroom. I know as parents we want to go and see what's going on, but as an ed assistant - man the horror stories I could tell you.

Anyways, just wanted to say that I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign about her approach - it may be that she has had bad volunteer experiences.

I agree with GuildJenn. There are many ways to volunteer at school...it doesn't have to be in dc classroom.

[HoneymoonBaby]

Maybe she's shy or insecure. Is she a new teacher? I know it used to scare the heck out of me when parents would help out in the CCD (Catholic religion) classes I taught, because I was young and green and I was teaching their kids and I was afraid they'd judge me and think I was doing a horrible job. *I* didn't think I was doing I horrible job, but I didn't know what the parental expectations were and I was afraid of what they might think of me. It just made me nervous and stressed out. I was better off by myself. I'm confident enough now that it doesn't bother me so much, but in the beginning .... whoa boy, parents were SCARY. Maybe that is what is going on here.

[Chinese Pistache]

Originally Posted by HoneymoonBaby

Maybe she's shy or insecure. Is she a new teacher? I know it used to scare the heck out of me when parents would help out in the CCD (Catholic religion) classes I taught, because I was young and green and I was teaching their kids and I was afraid they'd judge me and think I was doing a horrible job. *I* didn't think I was doing I horrible job, but I didn't know what the parental expectations were and I was afraid of what they might think of me. It just made me nervous and stressed out. I was better off by myself. I'm confident enough now that it doesn't bother me so much, but in the beginning .... whoa boy, parents were SCARY. Maybe that is what is going on here.

Nope. Going on 14 years.

[astrophe27]

I would forgive it if it were a first year teacher... she probably doesn't have all her stock letters written and all that... so in a rush... thing can come out sounding less than nice.

But 14 years? She needs work on her letter writing skills then! It's all well and good if her experience has shown that volunteer needs taper off. But she could express that to the parents a lot better.

Dear Parents,

Welcome to grade X! My name is Ms Teacher. I wanted to let you know about volunteer opportunities in our class and at our school.

In my experience, we typically need a lot of help at the beginning of the year to get us started, some help keeping us on track as students settle into the routine, then once we hit our stride we just special occassion help like field trip chaperones. Please see the classroom sign up list to see which week you wish to help with. This is what our needs usually look like:

Week 1-3 (6 parent slots)
Week 4-6 (4 parent slots)
Week 7-9 (2 parent slots)
Week 10-12 (1 parent slot)
Week 13+ (as needed, will send slips home)

We also have other groups at school that need help that would love caring volunteers!

GROUP If INTERESTED, CALL
---------------------------------------------------
PTA
Library
Admin.
Tutors

I look forward to getting to know your child and YOU this year!

Best wishes,

Ms. Teacher.

As a parent, I'd want to know what to expect so I could contribute. But the

"I'm very good at multi-tasking and need very little parent help. If you're still interested in volunteering, you should join the PTA. They never have enough help."

tone comes off as her being snarky and the PTA being the worst/most boring group ever because they are soooo sad they never have helpers.

And you know what? I'd be put off, maybe to the point of transfering my kid elsewhere... maybe not. But def. to the point of not donating any extra time nor extra money.

A.

[debbieh]

Originally Posted by elizabeth rose

I would take it to me she resents having parents in the classroom, I would have to wonder why.

I completely agree with this. I volunteered in every class that all three of my dc were in, from kindergarden until 6th grade. All of the teachers were very happy for the extra help and expressed that constantly. There was only one exception to this...from my youngest dd's 4th grade teacher, who said to me, "I don't really need any help, but if you want to come in, you can dust the classroom"!! After 3 months in that class, my dd had lost every last bit of her self confidence and was convinced that she couldn't even write a sentence without help. After talking to her as well as other parents and children in her class, we realized that the teacher was making comments to every child, to the effect that they "couldn't do anything right". We pulled her and homeschooled. The point of this story is that if I am not welcome in my child's class, I believe there is a good chance that that's not the class I want my child in.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Maggieinnh

O.k., please bare with me here, I am a foreigner and would like to know what you all mean by "weekly volunteering in the classroom"???
Are you actually in class when the teacher is teaching the children? Do you help the teacher to keep the class quiet, hand out books? What else do you do while the class is being taught, do you sit in the corner and wait for the teacher to give you an assignment?
Do all schools do this or only private or public schools???
What do you mean by "being a visitor" in the classroom? Does that mean that you can just walk into class while it is being taught to observe?

It depends on the teacher.

Last year in DS's class (Kinder) I: helped with art projects, went to field trips, set up bulliten boards, helped kids with individual reading, made copies, put together packets, helped with class parties...

Last year in DD's class (3rd) I: made copies, put together bulliten boards, cut out things for projects, put together the beginnings of projects, ran errands, helped with art projects, helped with class parties...

I also volunteered in the library. I wouldn't just walk in to observe (I think that would be distracting) since I was there basically weekly anyway.