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Moms of Many September support thread - Page 2

post #21 of 116
Thread Starter 
I wanted to tell everyone that I found a yahoogroup yesterday called Large Family logistics that focuses on organizing a large family.

whitedoyle,

I struggle with anger and not freaking out at my older two over dumb stuff (like the playroom being messy or them spilling something). Sometimes you just need a break.
post #22 of 116
Thread Starter 
QOTD: Do you have "help?"

The "help" thread in TAO got me wondering and I figure the MoMs would be the ones who needed it most. Do you have any sort of paid help or someone who helps you with the house/kids on the regular basis?

I have a mother's helper that comes once a week for the afternoon to play with the kids (paid) and my mil comes and helps me clean every other week or so (free).
post #23 of 116
No. I have slave labour (aka the people who create most of the mess.) I have bartered for help around the house through LETS before, (ironing, mostly, some housework) but at the moment we're doing it all between ourselves.
Whitedoyle It's OK to have a bad day.
post #24 of 116
No real help here. I do have both sets of grandparents near by and every month or two they take the 3 oldest for a sleepover and that is very nice. I've worked at getting very organized and never letting myself fall behind. If I go a day or two with out cleaning, picking-up and laundry, it seems to take me a week to catch back up.
post #25 of 116
Help That's what I say not what I have

Our house isn't disgusting and it isn't large but I wouldn't like anyone else doing any cleaning here! My mum and ILs are far away so we don't havre any help from them but we've been managing on our own for a long time now so we just get on with it.
post #26 of 116
We were out today and someone looked at Daniel and asked if we had another one since she last saw me. I said no, we just cloned one we already had.
post #27 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
We were out today and someone looked at Daniel and asked if we had another one since she last saw me. I said no, we just cloned one we already had.
: I wish I had thought of that! I could use it quite often!


As for the QOTD. Do I have help?

Other than my own set of 'slave labor' nope. Like mentioned, they make most of the mess so they have to do most of the clean up. Of course mine are a bit older, so it is getting much easier. When they were all younger, it was not so easy.

I could have used help so much, but it has just never been there. Most people IRL are 'scared' of being around us. I am not sure if they just don't like the noise, and let's face it, children can be noisy and MY children are louder than most (I blame it on Daddy), or if they think maybe I am contagious! But no matter the reason, help has just never been a choice for us.

We are struggling with teaching the children to clean up after themselves. For some reason they just can not understand that just living in a house causes mess. They all seem to think that if they did not personally touch it or they were not the last one to use it then they are not responsible for it. Like the dirty towel on the bathroom floor, Sarah may have put it there, but Jessi, Seth, Hannah, Nathaniel, and Gideon used it, so it no longer is any of their mess because someone else used it! OY! The logic of children!


On another note, I just survived a Shopping Day! With six children in tow! : And I ONLY bought food, and I only filled to overflowing FIVE buggies, and I ONLY spent $680! But now I am VERY TIRED! On a more positive note, I won't have to do this again for another month!
post #28 of 116
Jenny, I am so proud of you. I couldn't even take my three to a bookshop (with a second adult in tow: so that's a 3:2 ratio of supervision) without losing one No prizes for guessing which one, obviously.
WTH made me think four was achievable? :
post #29 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Jenny, I am so proud of you. I couldn't even take my three to a bookshop (with a second adult in tow: so that's a 3:2 ratio of supervision) without losing one No prizes for guessing which one, obviously.
WTH made me think four was achievable? :
You know - I think we all have moments like that when pg. Something goes really wrong and we are left wondering wth we are having another.

My story: When I was pg with my 3rd (7 months - so quite visible), Dh and I were at the dentist with C and J. It was an afternoon, after work and it was packed. When it was time to leave both C and J (4 and 2 at the time) had fits - they were screaming, "NO NO NO" and undressing themselves as fast as we could get them dressed (it was winter so think ski pants, jackets, boots etc). They actually started to take their clothes off too to make us further behind. All while yelling, "WE DON'T WANT TO GO!" etc... I think we left with them half dressed - just picked them and their clothes up and left. The whole waiting room was watching and I'm positive their collective thought was, "WTH are they pregnant? They can't even handle what they have already!". Plus, we were young and that fact always seems to make people just that much more judgemental. I think I cried the whole way home. Now I can look back on it and laugh though (although it's 5 years and another couple children later)

I'm sorry that you had such a rough day. I know that saying it will be okay is one thing - sometimes it seems hard to believe. But trust me, I'm sure we've all been there.
post #30 of 116
Thread Starter 
Daniele,

If anyone there had kids of their own, then they understood what you were going through. I would never judge someone whose kid was freaking out. I always want to offer to help.
post #31 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Daniele,

If anyone there had kids of their own, then they understood what you were going through. I would never judge someone whose kid was freaking out. I always want to offer to help.
I know what you are saying. Looking back, that's probably how the people in the waiting room felt too. But you know when you are in the heat of the moment it feels like everyone is thinking the same thing you are (b/c I was definitely questioning my decision to have more right then!). I'm just glad that day is over and I can look back and laugh.

I always want to help others too but I find that I'm too shy. The other day I was alone with the baby at the grocery store and as I went through, I could hear a mom getting really frustrated with her two young boys. As I was leaving, I had the babe in the sling and a few bags of groceries in my hands. I saw her out in the parking lot and she was trying to buckle her boys into their seats. She also had a flower arrangement on the back of her car (the trunk lid). I'm sure you can see where this is going... It fell, there was a glass-breaking noise and she was so upset (no doubt). I tried to catch her eye but she just scowled. I wanted to stop and help her but she was so angry I was worried she'd look at me and get mad at me b/c it looked like I only had one baby. At any rate, I still think about her and hope that she had a better evening than afternoon that day.
post #32 of 116
Good morning!!


We just got back from a road trip to go to my sisters wedding....5 kids in the car for 13 hours, both ways. It was fun.:

The whole wedding all I heard was how crazy, brave, nuts, blessed, cursed, etc..to have 5 kids. And EVERYONE assumes we are now done. I am not sure why they think that, is 5 some sort of magic number??


Quote:
Originally Posted by whitedoyle View Post
Do you ever just want to get the heck outta Dodge?
Ummm...yeah. I just try to make sure I push for some child-free time every so often. It really helps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by prairiemommy View Post

I got the "Are they all yours?" question at the grocery store yesterday. They look so much alike how could they not be related?
Where do people think you can go to get these "extra" kids?? And why would you want to take extras out like that??

Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
QOTD: Do you have "help?"

.

No. I need it though..and we are not having any more kids until we get some. Yeah right... I can dream...
post #33 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline248 View Post

Who else has their kids in public school?
My oldest goes to public school. #2 goes to a private preschool, but will join her sister at the public school next year. We're fortunate to have great schools in the area.


Help question: we have a house cleaner who comes weekly. I love that! Yesterday I had to take all 4 girls out to watch dh finish the 1/2 marathon and I broght the neighbor girl. She juggled the baby while I took pictures.


We have just 4. I think our families thought we would quit after 3, now they are all waiting for us to announce #5.

Just when I think I can't handle 4, I take them for a walk around the block and somehow their cousin joins us too. It makes for an interesting caravan of kids. Makes the neighbors keep guessing, too.
post #34 of 116
Caroline, any time you want a few extra kids, gimme a ring and I'll stick a few on the plane to you

OK, so I just spent a few days hanging out with a fellow MDC mama over from Canada. Great- apart from her total shock at the noise level, chaos level, mess level and all else level I swear, I'm never leaving the house again
post #35 of 116
I had a horrid, awful experience the other day. We were headed to the farmer's market and decided to stop for lunch beforehand to avoid the "I wants" from everyone. Everyone did really well up until it was time to leave and then they all started bouncing and yelling. I'm standing at the counter paying for our meal when I overhear some older (about 50-ish) couple tell my DP to "shut those goddamn kids up" because apparently they were disrupting their meal. They made all kinds of terrible comments about what bad parents we must be because of how out of control our kids were and that it was our job to ensure they are seen and not heard.
DP made a huge scene, I about threw a Pepsi on them, snatched my kids up and left as quick as possible. I wanted to go back and yell obscenities at them but instead we went the market and bought some produce and went home.
I am still furious.
post #36 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Caroline, any time you want a few extra kids, gimme a ring and I'll stick a few on the plane to you


Umm, no thanks..at least not right now. I have a teething fourteen month old. Yuck.



Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital View Post
I had a horrid, awful experience the other day. .

OMG!!! I would be fuming as well. How dare people even leave their own house when they are so obviously ignorant and stupid. To say something like that is beyond words, but to say it in front of the kids...wow. I can't believe you guys were able to not start a brawl...and have the kids join in!
post #37 of 116
DiD, did you complain to the manager? : I HATE the way that people are unable to act politely in public, and I'm not talking about your children

Something I hadn't realised until this week is that the UK is relatively unusual in that over here, generally, if you eat in a pub you pay for your food when you order. I have to say, it makes the quick retreat a heck of a lot quicker
post #38 of 116
DreamsInDigital, I am so sorry for your experience. I know how you feel though.


When my oldest a baby she had really bad colic and was generally a very fussy baby. We decided to go out to eat, since I had not had many days out. Baby was past her nap by the time we got there and was more fussy, but did not scream the entire time. However, by the end of the meal she was ready to leave and crying. I spent my time bouncing her up and down (that is what she really liked, and the only thing that calmed her down) as we finished out last glass of tea. Just as we were paying (at the table) we began to hear an older couple a few tables away making rude comments about us and our 'screaming baby' and how we should not take babies like that out in public and we should not be allowed in a restaurant, and so on. By that time I was in tears, as I had not slept in days and the Baby was in a good mood, and I had just wanted to enjoy a time out for an hour. So my husband politely got up and walked straight over to their table and stood there staring at them for a few moment.

Now you have to picture it. My husband is 6'4" 280lbs, all muscle (at that time). I could just see them begin to shiver, and heard the wife whisper to the husband, "well, now you have done it!"

Of course, my husband, after standing there for a moment, politely apologized for any inconvenience we had caused them; then turned around and we walked out. I was almost laughing when we left! You could see them melt with relief in their seats when he walked away from them!


Anyways, I am sorry for your experience, I hope you are not angry any more. But it just reminded me of my experience.
post #39 of 116
I'm not angry anymore, that faded pretty quickly. Mostly I'm just sad that there are people out there that don't like children or that don't realize that kids act out sometimes. I'm glad that you all understand, my mom was like "So why did that bother you so much???" Grrrr.
post #40 of 116
Thread Starter 
New Duggar pics:
http://picasaweb.google.com/duggarfamily/ August2007TheDuggarFamily?authkey=TzZqruyL8i0

just connect the link
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