Heyla gurglebaby! Welcome to the club!
Jilian- I don't know. I think that if there is another little one out there somewhere asking to join your family then it may be worth trying. Can they test before the babe is born? I mean, now that you know the potential is there could they test before birth or right after birth and take care of it then (when the heart hasn't been stressed by a period of time outside the womb)? I know it's got to be a horrible feeling...thinking that another little one could go through the same trauma (and you and your family as well), but maybe if you're not caught by surprise?
I know that my c/s with Laia devastated me. It was horrible, I developed PPD and PTSD, I was a wreck. But a large part of that was because a c/s was sooooo far away from what I expected. There was no way I would ever be one of "those" women who had a c/s. And then I was. I was one of "them". And I crumpled. This time even though I was 100% committed to my VBAC I knew a c/s was possible and I prepared for it. I think that if I had had another c/s I would have been upset, but not nearly as much as I was the first time simply because this time round I knew what was possible and had prepared myself for that.
Still...I'm having similar feelings. We'd like a third child but I just don't think I can do it. After a c/s and a 4th degree tear/shoulder dystocia/bladder prolapse vbac I just don't know that I can handle another birth. I want another child, I can't believe that I'll only have the two little ones, but I can't imagine how I would handle another birth. Do I make peace with a c/s (and all the possible complications, long recovery time, etc) or do I make peace with another 4th degree tear (and the possible complications and long recovery time there)? And SD can be fatal, or lead to serious mental or physical injury... and the only known "predictive" tool for SD is if the mama has had it before. So do I risk SD again with another child who may not be as lucky as Rowan? How can I trust my body to work properly when BOTH of my birth experiences have "proven" otherwise?
Bleh...not much help, am I? But I hear you... I'm giving myself at least a year to heal physically and mentally before making ANY decisions about future babes. Maybe just let yourself off the hook for a year or two?