The Write-At-Home-Mom and Childcare (Cross-Post)

[LoveOhm]

I was just offered a two book deal and need to find the time to actually write. My SO is very supportive emotionally and financially but he is not "physically present" to help with our dd because he works very long hours.

I think I will still need "some" childcare for writing time.... I wish I could have a mother's helper in my home but since my place is super small and I will both be working from home there is simply not room. And dd cannot start preschool until June.

And come June I know I will feel guilty that my dd will be elsewhere since I WAH. I know it is not realistic for me to do all my work while she sleeps but I don't really know what is the better option. Anyone else relate? How do you balance writing at home and motherhood?

Do you have childcare? If so how much and what type?

[slvsquared]

I've been building a writing career on evenings and weekends for several months now. I have a mother's helper that comes in. I guarantee her at least 4 hours a week, up to 20 hours per week. I then tell her each week how many hours I will need. This really helps, because if I"m earning money, I need her more than if it's a slower week.

I also write a lot in the nooks and crannies of life

[ceilydhmama]

I've been building up over two years. Initially I had 4 hours of pre-school a week, last year I had 3 hrs of kindy a day and now she is in 1st grade and I have 5 hrs a day!

I started writing so I could be a SAHM, but have enjoyed it so much that I started to feel guilty about working too much and not focusing on her. I find the dedicated hours of child care mean that I'm really with her when we're together and I'm able to focus on writing and not feel guilty when she is elsewhere.

Enjoy building your career - it's a fabulous one

[LoveOhm]

bump --- any more feedback?

[lisarussell]

I love what Diane had to say about that. I have a housefull and my girls manage themselves and eachother pretty well. However, I have the "working in the nooks & crannies" philosophy and the nooks & crannies turn into all day long sometimes. My newest method is... work 'till the battery on the laptop dies and recharge with the kids while it's plugged in.

I hope you find your perfect solution

[j.lucymuses]

Remember, you are still your own person and you deserve to do your own thing. Mother's guilt is an soul-sucking thing . I went through all the same thoughts, but then a friend reminded me, if you aren't happy or fulfilled then the whole family will feel it. If mama ain't happy...

I put both my children in playschool a couple mornings a week at 18 mths to give me time for myself, but primarily for them. They both needed the socialization and a break from ME . DD will be starting full-day K this month and DS will be in playschool 4 morning a week... and I can't wait to write, write, write with NO guilt.

Good luck to you!

[mamadaan]

Both

I do a bit of both. I try to write in the nooks and crannies of life and DH (theoretically) takes care of the kids on Sunday so that I can work. DS1 is also in school. DS2 will probably be going to preschool two mornings a week sometime soon, but I am waiting for a place near DS1's school.

Unfortunately renovating our 'new' house is taking up a lot of the nooks and crannies at the moment and the kids are taking time to adjust to our new area.

[LoveOhm]

bump

[jakesmama]

I woh and write after the fam has gone to bed (note the timestamp on this post ).
As I toil to build a writing career I just take what I can get. As business picks up I will have no problem (probably because I already woh so I'm used to the kids being with the sitter...that would be grandma) having my youngest in some kind of care a few hours a week so I can do the really detailed stuff without having to worry about stopping to tend to her needs.

I think it depends on the kiddo but most will be more than happy to spend a little time with others their own age (and height). If there are things you need to get done and deadlines to keep then you have to do what you have to do.

[slvsquared]

Since my earlier reply, I've moved up to a part time live-out nanny, who comes about 15 hours per week. The remainder of the time, I sort of wing it. Nights, weekends, working at my desk while my toddler watercolors and I nurse the baby - it's a downright crazy existence sometimes!

Sandi

[Nanu]

struggling with this, too

My older children babysit while I work part time. We homeschool, so another 20 hours or so goes into that. Add in chauffering and errands and there is just no time left for writing.

A year ago I was working 40-50 hours a week while homeschooling -- yet I managed to write 2 complete novels in 3 years time.

The difference? Well the older kids are older so they have more outside obligations like college classes. The younger kids are older and need a lot more instruction instead of just sleeping in a sling. I can't take the kids to work like I used to (relocated) so there's no more doubling-up homeschool and work.

My life has changed and there's much less time for writing. Also I have certain writing obligations now (weekly column) that absorb some of my creative energy.