DD Worried About Preschool **Update in OP**

[rabrog]

DD is worried that we are going to drop her off at preschool, not pick her up and she'll be there alone.

I have no idea what this stems from as she's never been left anywhere. The only thing I can come up with is she's never been in this exact situation - a new place with new teachers.

We can stay the first day or two if the kids need us to and the first couple weeks are all about getting comfortable not having parents there.

I plan to stay with DD on Thurs. (first day) and maybe Tues. (if necessary). Then the first day she's there by herself, DH will be there a few minutes early so DD is one of the first children picked up at the end.

Good plan? Am I way off base? Any ideas?

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So today we walked in and I helped her get her sneakers on (it was raining so we wore rain boots to and from). She went and checked things out, I told the teacher about DDs concerns and we were headed out the door. DD comes over and asks where we're going. I told her we were leaving and we would be back after preschool and we loved her. She was like "okay" and sat down with the kids and did playdough (they do that in the morning or a little activity while everyone gets there).

We went to breakfast (and I tried not to cry - I felt like she didn't need me anymore after I had this plan to stay today! ) We got back a few minutes early and waited in the parking lot with some other moms. One mom's little guy cried when she left but he was all smiles when she picked him up. DD was all smiles and actually was very sad when we left - she was upset preschool was over!

The primary teacher will be gone next week - her father is very ill and in the hospital and she's leaving tomorrow night. The assistant teacher will be there and she's arranged for a few moms who helped her last year to come in and help with the classes. I know DD really likes the assistant teacher, too, so I don't think we'll have any problem with that.

THANK GOD she loves preschool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Jenn

[Momily]

Great plan! Other things to think about -- giving her a "transitional object" -- something of yours to hold onto as "proof" that you're coming back. Maybe a photo, or a piece of cheap jewelry she's seen you wear. I realize that from an adult perspective this makes zero sense (I'd be much more likely to forget my costume jewelry than my child!) but it seems to resonate with kids.

I had a 4 year old in our program this year who was very worried that his daddy wouldn't come back -- his teacher had drawn the schedule on the board, so he and I added a little stick figure with the words "Antoine's Daddy" next to it at the bottom. Somehow seeing that picture of HIS daddy (who looked like anyone's daddy -- it was a stick figure afterall) made it seem real and he calmed right down.

Finally, I often suggest "dry runs" with parents. Have daddy or another familiar adult pretend to be the teacher. Drive to school, let him off about a block before and then have him come to your car and meet your daughter at the car door (if that's how they do drop off) saying in a silly high voice "I'm Ms. So and So" and take her to the playground for a few minutes. Then come back and pretend to hand her back.

[pamama]

...

[infraread]

DS went through the exact same thing. He started out clingy, "please don't leave, I'm afraid you won't come back!" What helped him alot was the teacher's suggestion that I send in a picture for him to carry in his pocket, and another teacher's actually showing him on the clock and setting a timer for him when it got close to pick-up time. We also made, "mama loves me and will always come back for me" his mantra for awhile.

I had high anxiety about him going, which may have contributed to the problem? Dunno. But it turned out to be really good for him, he enjoyed it so much and made good friends, and was very sad to see it end. Good luck to her!

[beanma]

a thing that helped my dd1, who suffers greatly with separation anxiety, was to take something to show the teacher. she really keys in on grown ups rather than kids so this may or may not work for your dc. she sometimes takes stuffed animals or a picture she's drawn or even a caterpillar she's found. i broached the idea of the picture of the family with her, but she nixed it. i think she's more an "out of sight out of mind" kinda gal and the idea of having a picture of us made it seem worse to her. it always helps if i'm one of the first mamas to come pick up and woe be it unto me if i'm not 'cause i'm sure to catch it!

jenn, has your little one been left with a babysitter or grandparents? i'd tell that it will be a lot like that if so. you might also relate a story of when you were scared to be left as a kid, but how it all turned out just fine and you loved preschool/kindy. those kinds of stories always resonate with my dds.

sounds like a good plan and good luck!