Reassure me about preschool!

[mariamaroo]

DD (almost 4 yo) is starting preschool tomorrow, and I'm so anxious and sad about it… and also relieved and happy. I'm seriously committed to homeschooling and I feel very weird sending her to preschool… she really wants to go and is SOOO excited, and my idea is to let her go to preschool for a year (assuming it all works out ok) and then pick up homeschooling next year.

Logically I still think it's a good plan. It will be good for her, she's likely to have a good time with other kids, other adults who aren't always having to do laundry or answer emails in the middle of a fun craft project… and who will also reinforce the idea that it's not just boring old infuriating mama who has boundaries and standards and the like. It will likewise be good for me to have some time 3 days a week to take care of business (laundry and email…) and the headspace to make some much needed decisions about life transitions, moving out of state, etc.

However! I am worried about it all! My little protected baby who doesn't watch tv, doesn't know from Disney or Spongebob or … I don't know, name-calling, playground politics, gender stereotyping, all the nasty sides of the world I've sheltered her from. It's a nice little Montessori school, and I'm sure it will be a nurturing place, but it's still a little institution and I don't want her homogenized and 'socialized' or any of those things.

Not to mention, that she's not fully vaxed and I'm worried what they're going to say when they figure that out. I would've signed the religious exemption form but I did start getting her vaxed when she was an infant until I started reading about autism and vaccine injury and all that scary information and called a halt to it. So I don't know if they're going to buy the idea that I had some kind of conversion experience when she was nine months old! Maybe the bureaucracy won't argue with it as long as they have their paperwork, but I'm worried anyway.

Sorry for the disjointed ranting - i'm just stressed and got no one to vent it on, hope y'all don't mind!

[K-Girl]

Hi,

I just want to say that I know how you feel. My 3.5 year old son started preschool last week. I was so sad to send him off, and although I have no plans as yet to homeschool, it may come up in the future. Anyhow, he is super protected, too--and not familiar with playground politics, etc. His favorite color is pink and he thinks that pirates use their swords to cut flowers! Oh, my little sweetie pie! He hasn't come home playing guns yet--or using words like "stupid"--or worse. So we are OK for now and he is really liking it. So, I am just hoping to find some like-minded parents/children in the school system to buddy up with so my kids won't feel like total freaks down the road for not watching TV, eating yucky processed food, etc.

Kirsten

[marybethorama]

I think it will be okay

Really

If you're happy with the program, your kids will probably love it. My kids did.

I just have one small thing. "Playground politics" and sexism are not exclusive to schooled kids or even kids who watch tv. I've seen plenty of that stuff among kids who are homeschooled, not yet in school, and/or don't watch tv. It can happen anywhere.

My kids were sheltered too but they also played with "mainstream" kids from the neighborhood. It turned out that the nieghborhood kids were actually very nice. OTOH the "ap" kids from playgroup were just plain mean :P

[MOM2ANSLEY]

DD started preschool at 3yrs and I intended to hs also, she is now almost 5 and at same school and I feel her "asking" to go to school at 3 was gods way of telling me that was best for her b/c my work sched has changed and I realize I don't have the patience I need to hs her.....sorry to ramble I just want to reassure you. I was scared dd would not like school, but she LOVES it. I think she needs "her" time too

[lmevans]

My DD is 3.5 and is so excited about school. She talks about it, asks about it. Whenver we drive by the schools in town, she talks about how thats "her" school and she'll go there when she's older.
I've just recently become interested in homeschooling. I dont want to keep her from something that excites her so much. So, my plan is to send her to a local preschool here that is run by the high school. The director is a high school teacher, and the high school students teach the preschoolers. The high schoolers get college credit for it. Its from Feb-May 3 mornings a week, for 2 hours each day. My DD is on the waiting list for that preschool. I do hope she gets in, because that will give us a good experience...it'll give her the experience of the school that she's been wanting to go to so bad. The rest of the time I plan to homeschool, and hopefully after she's done at that preschool we can homeschool after that.

Anyways, all that to say I know what youre going through.
I think your DC will be fine...I think its good for kids (and people in general) to be exposed to a variety of experiences.
It'll be an adjustment, but I think you guys will be fine.
And nothing says that you cant homeschool and do the preschool too. I dont know what the preschool's schedule is...most of them around here arent every day, so if its like that, you could homeschool on the days he's not in preschool, maybe?

Michelle

[mom2ponygirl]

My dd did preschool and when all her friends were leaving the school to begin kindergarten, we started homeschooling. We hooked up with a local hs group shortly before the change and we've never looked back. Dd is about to turn 9 now and she really loves hs and has no interest currently in attending school - other than some online distance classes she takes.

Yes preschool had a few mean girls - you know the if you want to be my friend you can't be her friend type. However, overall it was very positive and it worked for us at that time when work schedules wouldn't allow anything else.

Good luck, it will be fine!

[Mama Rubin]

Preschool Decisions

My 4 year old son just started a 2 day Waldorf nursery program yesterday. My husband and I also want to homeschool and I do feel strange about him "starting school." However, we also have a 13 month old AP baby so this past year it has been really hard to give the 4 year old as much attention as he needs. Much like my older son was, the baby will only sleep in arms or at the breast. I hope by next year the little one will nap less and I could do more with the older one. He was getting bored being stuck home so much.

This is the 4 year olds first time away from me and he says he loves the Waldorf school. We purposely chose Waldorf because 1)they believe in letting children be children -the program is all play, no academics 2) do not allow children to wear media characters on clothing and 3)prepare their own healthy snacks as part of the "program."

I think at this age kids really love to play with other kids. If your child is happy, try not to worry too much. You can still homeschool when she is not at Montessori and next year!

[mariamaroo]

Thanks for the reassurance and solidarity!

Well, it's working out ok so far. DD loves it - didn't want to come home the first two days. I'm really disoriented without her, but I'm getting a LOT done (I even took a nap one day! ).

I really really wish there was a Waldorf program around here. I'm not so crazy about Waldorf when she gets a little older, but for young kids I love it - for all the reasons you stated, Mama Rubin. Montessori is nice, and I'm ok with it, but I'd be happier with more play, more imagination and less energy towards 'academics' and institutionalized structure. I'm trying to do Waldorfy stuff at home on the days she doesn't go to school to bridge those gaps.

I am not very happy with the snacks she's getting at school – popcorn with fake butter, some kind of cheese puffs… not the wholesome, healthy fare I expected after reading the parents handbook. Also, on the first day, there was apparently some 'cut off the head of the bad guy' toy for show-and-tell, which didn't thrill me at all. DD talked about it a LOT in the ensuing days. She has not been exposed to much of that kind of thing, which is how I'd like to keep it! I don't want to nitpick, or be the Parent Who Complains in the first week, but …

Also, dd is really awful when she comes home. She's tired, and overstimulated (and possibly reacting to food dyes/hfcs…), and throws fits over EVERYTHING. I'm going to give it some more time, see if it eases up as she gets more used to the routine. It's a long day for her; I hope not too long.

It's all a fascinating adventure, if nothing else!