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Met my first Twin Mom today, need support - Page 2

post #21 of 27
I think AP ideals are fabulous - as ideals. But they won't always playout in day to day life especially with multiples. You will learn quickly the difference between using tools to faciliate APish behaviour vs avoiding it.
I did use a playpen when we were in a situation that I may have needed a safe place to plop a baby if I need to help the other, or my oldest (ie at the dock at the cottage, or outside on the front yard.) It allowed me to have my kids with me in a space they could explore and still give my older child some freedom - and provide an extra set of hands.
I used an exersaucer to hold one baby while I changed a particularly bad diaper on the other or cleaned up cat puke.
They are tools and sometimes you need to use them but they don't have to change the intention behind your parenting.

I do think that it is possible to AP twins. I also think that the reality is you have two hands, and 24 hours a day and sometimes neither of those will be enough to meet their needs as well as the needs of your older child and still grab a shower or a bite to eat. They will cry - probably more than your singleton did. You will be tired - so much more tired than with one baby. You will need a break because babywearing and nursing 2 can take a lot out of you. You will feel pulled in too many directions. And you will bond with them and love them and marvel at them and you will feel more connected as a family then you ever could have imagined.

It will be fine.
post #22 of 27
What everyone else said.

You're gonna be fine.
post #23 of 27
Originally Posted by Ilovelife View Post
I also wanted to point out, though, that I tend to clear away the toys when someone I don't know comes to our home. Also, being a SAHM can leave some yearning for adult conversation and it *may* be that the mama you met was doing something odd for her (leaving babes in playpens) in order to be more attentive to you and/or enjoy an adult conversation for a change. Just a thought. You will be the mama you want to be. But surely there will be tough days with 2 new babes. Best of luck--enjoy.
I also wondered about this. It was stressful to me to have someone come to my house when the girls were awake since I could not keep my eyes on them 100% and make sure they weren't into stuff. I didn't have a playpen, but like PP, I did have a gated, 100% babyproofed room that I could put them in while I attended to something else. There were toys, though, and no TV.
post #24 of 27
Oh, those poor babies!!

We used swings, saucers, jumpers, playpens, backpacks, strollers, high chairs, cribs, crib tents, dispsable diapers, pre-made meals, potty chairs, TV . . . hmmm did I miss anything?

It isn't the tools. It is how you use them and to what degree.

We travel a ton and my boys sleep in playpens. They loved napping in swings and playing in/around/with all kinds of toys, etc.

But my kids spent limited amounts of time in these devices. The rest of the time they were on the floor playing or with me.

You will find your own routine and comfort level for tools. There are lots of variables: fussiness of babies, amount of help, how many and age of older chidren, size of babies, early walkers/climbers, strength and coordination of Moms back, etc. And many variables change constantly. I have found it best to stay open and flexible to what tools I use.
post #25 of 27
Originally Posted by Karenwith4 View Post
They are tools and sometimes you need to use them but they don't have to change the intention behind your parenting.
ITA with this. we also used contraptions here and there because i couldn't wear two babies all the time and i only had one pair of hands. swings were helpful for a little bit in the beginning, later on they loved exersaucers... we co-slept, bf, cd... everything AP that i could do, i did. but if i had access to and found something that made my babies happy and gave me an extra set of hands... i utilized it, with no guilt. never were they used as substitutes for being with mama.

you will meet a LOT of twin mamas who just park their kiddos in various contraptions all day long. i find this sad and frustrating but i can only take care of my own kiddos.

congrats on your twin pg!
post #26 of 27
Twin parenting is great, because it really ends up being easier to be AP... part of being AP is that it's about doing what comes naturally, what is best for you and the kids, and listening to your inner voice/gut/whatever. It's not about following the "rules" of mothering, MDC, or Dr. Sears. If twin parenting does anything, it makes you follow your inner voice and do what's best for you and the babies. You're under such demand, you can't HELP but think instinctually!
I love this! I think this sums up my twin parenting experience!
post #27 of 27
Maybe you were the first company she's had in awhile, and she wanted to talk to YOU as a first priority. Just a thought.
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