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Why do people feel the need to justify themselves (re: tv) - Page 2

post #21 of 112
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post #22 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
That post is ridiculous and offensive. Letting your child watch TV is not abusive. All of the practices you mentioned are. But if you have to insult others to feel better about your parenting then go for it.
I think the poster's point was that some people DO believe that television viewing is harmful to children, and some of them might even believe that it is *as* harmful as crying it out, spanking, formula feeding, or generally neglecting a child.

Not everybody agrees about that, but it's important to realize that some parents do feel that strongly about television viewing, and data does exist to back them up.

As for the OP's question about why people tend to qualify their TV viewing statements - the same reason people qualify statements about supplementing with formula, or give the background of why their son was circ'ed and the fact that their future children won't be, or ask for no flames when they mention vaxxing. They understand that some parents disagree with their decision and they realize that sometimes people get flamed for their parenting choices when they're looking for support. They're trying to avoid getting flamed.

I don't really see a point to assuming that people feel guilty for their choices. It's possible to feel shame or think that other people expect you to feel shame even if you do think you made the right choice. Guilt and shame aren't the same thing.
post #23 of 112
i watch tv sometimes. i don't feel bad about it anymore than i feel bad about eating some cookies...my son doesn't watch it now, cause hes only 8 months old, and we usually have time to watch during the day anyway, but i am sure he will watch tv when he is older. i don't think tv=bad.
check out "the goddess vs. the alphabet" or maybe it's "the alphabet vs. the goddess" one or the other...great book. discusses the importance of image and icon in terms of having a balanced left and right brain relationship. interesting theory with lots of great supporting evidence. made me stop feeling guilty about the tv i watch.
post #24 of 112
I do a lot of things I always thought I would never do.

--Disposable diapers (just too disgusting to cd without running water! for me, anyway! and there's no diaper service in town, and i don't have a washer or dryer)

--TV

I just stopped feeling guilty over the tv bit. I need a lot of time to myself to recharge when I am feeling po'd/tired/overworked, and if it buys me that time, well, so be it. it's not like I let him watch Yu-Gi-Oh or other violent cartoons, just run-of-the-mill pbs shows.
post #25 of 112
They feel guilty and judged by people who think TV is bad or wrong or unhealthy. That's my guess anyway.

We watch TV with no guilt and no excuses.
post #26 of 112
I think people justify because it's pretty well known that tv is not beneficial and that our kids could be doing much more productive things with their time.

That said, mine watches tv and I don't justify it or feel guilty about it. Sometimes we even play xbox 360 together.

I ususally avoid tv thread all together .. I don't have much to add .. I agree no tv is best, but we are not a tv free family and it's also something I choose not to feel guilty about.
post #27 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post

I ususally avoid tv thread all together .. I don't have much to add ..
I enjoy the TV threads quite a bit actually. I think it's because I feel like being a bit of the voice of support for those who love TV. "See, we can watch a lot of TV and still string sentences together!"
post #28 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy View Post
<donning the flaming suit>

See, I think it is about the type of person you are. It's also about cliques and jumping on the bandwagon for fear of not being "accepted" into an elite circle if you will...not going against the grain...

DS watches alot a TV. Alot. And I refuse to justify my decision and make no apologizes to anyone. Here or IRL.


You took the words right out of my mouth. That is one thing (and ppl who read my posts can tell you) I do not jump on any bandwagon about anything I beleive or do. I really do not try to fit into any group...especially an online message board where I will most likely not ever see/meet anyone. Life is too short to worry about saying things other ppl want to hear and not what you feel.

My kids watch tv.

Peace.
post #29 of 112

We watch tv because we like it

And we don't want to stop

Also I know so many awful kids who don't watch tv I'm not at all convinced it's better not to watch. :

Seriously I don't think the choice not to watch is necessarily better, just different.
post #30 of 112
They offer up excuses because they anticipate being judged.

Probably rightfully so. Humans tend to be a judgmental lot.
post #31 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I enjoy the TV threads quite a bit actually. I think it's because I feel like being a bit of the voice of support for those who love TV. "See, we can watch a lot of TV and still string sentences together!"
True!
post #32 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
We watch TV with no guilt and no excuses.
Same, here.

I was so glad when ds would actually WATCH tv! I got to dump him on the couch and GO PEE and BREW COFFEE instead of walking his 35 pounds around the house for an hour while he woke up. My theory is he doesn't want to watch much tv because he knows I want him to.
post #33 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post
Same, here.

I was so glad when ds would actually WATCH tv! I got to dump him on the couch and GO PEE and BREW COFFEE instead of walking his 35 pounds around the house for an hour while he woke up. My theory is he doesn't want to watch much tv because he knows I want him to.
Ain't that the truth.. I feel the same way about my dd especially on Sat mornings.. HELLO, watch that dang tv so I can veg for 10 mins.. Doesn't happen that way to often though.

Shay
post #34 of 112
I don't feel guilt for the fact that we watch tv.
I think the reason some people use disclaimers may be due to guilt, and it may also be due to the fact that some people pass harsh judgement on other people who don't do things the way they want them to. Judgement can be a form of control, or a desire to control others.
Sometimes judgement is good, though, as long as it's not being used to control other people's choices when their choices have no affect on you or your children/loved ones.
post #35 of 112
I think the thing that people don't realize when discussing TV is that it is addictive. We live in a society where we can talk openly about alcohol being addictive, or food, or heck even the internet. But nobody will admit TV is.


Here is an interesting read from Scientific America:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?art...A8809EC588EEDF

and another read...
http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/healthe...addiction.html

:
post #36 of 112
cause we feel guilty.... :
post #37 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatbaby View Post
I think the thing that people don't realize when discussing TV is that it is addictive. We live in a society where we can talk openly about alcohol being addictive, or food, or heck even the internet. But nobody will admit TV is.
I'm a firm believer in "all things in moderation."

Unless (of course) addiction is an issue. And, people can get addicted to just about anything. TV, video games and certainly the internet are all potentially addictive activities.

I sometimes wonder about vehemently anti-TV folks with post counts in the 10's of thousands.

We enjoy the TV as adults and expose DD most of what we're watching. (Which is mostly sports...usually tennis) I will be shocked if this girl doesn't play tennis. We watch it constantly. Otherwise, its cooking shows, home improvement and the weather channel.

I watch crappy reality shows after her bedtime.
post #38 of 112
Thank you OP for your posting! My kids watch too much TV (yes it's all COMPLETELY educational - how's that for a qualifier?) and I feel guilty ALL the time about it - I keep trying to structure our days to cut it out more and more but I'm just not successful. By 4pm on some days I just need a BREAK and on comes the TV for like 2-3 hours! (While I'm making dinner, etc)

But the reason I would qualify my TV habit on here is because sometimes I might want to post and just *not get into* the TV debate. Sometimes I think that some posters assume you just fell from the moon and are clueless about the whole TV thing. And I don't want to deflect a thread by just putting out a statement about using TV without qualifying it so that I don't get a post back lecturing me on the dangers of TV. I guess that's why I'd do it...

Now, anyone who has NO GUILT got some good things I can tell myself to get rid of my own guilt? Clearly stopping TV watching is NOT working for us - so I'd at least like to feel okay about it! LOL
peace,
robyn
post #39 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by incorrigible View Post
CIO and spanking are right on par with screen time for small children and excessive screen time for older ones.
You are actually serious? : That blows my mind. So my daughter watching Dora is as damaging to her as me hitting her or me leaving her to cry herself to sleep. Wow. Just..wow.
post #40 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hippymomma69 View Post
Thank you OP for your posting! My kids watch too much TV (yes it's all COMPLETELY educational - how's that for a qualifier?) and I feel guilty ALL the time about it - I keep trying to structure our days to cut it out more and more but I'm just not successful. By 4pm on some days I just need a BREAK and on comes the TV for like 2-3 hours! (While I'm making dinner, etc)

But the reason I would qualify my TV habit on here is because sometimes I might want to post and just *not get into* the TV debate. Sometimes I think that some posters assume you just fell from the moon and are clueless about the whole TV thing. And I don't want to deflect a thread by just putting out a statement about using TV without qualifying it so that I don't get a post back lecturing me on the dangers of TV. I guess that's why I'd do it...

Now, anyone who has NO GUILT got some good things I can tell myself to get rid of my own guilt? Clearly stopping TV watching is NOT working for us - so I'd at least like to feel okay about it! LOL
peace,
robyn
I had tons of guilt about letting my kids watch lots of tv, mostly because of posting on here! How I let go of the guilt was I read through the data and decided what I did and did not agree with. I saw my kids and that it wasn't affecting them negatively. I knew that them watching tv made me a better mom because I am a loner and an introvert and I am just not a good mom if I don't get some quiet time. I just made a conscious decision to stop stressing over it. My kids are happy and healthy. The older ones do dance, gymnastics, judo, swimming, soccer, etc and play outside every day. They eat healthy, they are incredibly smart and they are generally great little people. I allow them to self-regulate their tv viewing. Well the little one is still young enough that I do regulate her - although I do let her watch it. She loves Dora and I get some quiet time. Yay! : The older ones...well I just stopped controlling it. They will watch some and then they themselves will choose to turn it off and go do something else. We don't have any issues.
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