Help, I'm Clueless!!!

[chely7425]

Seriously, I feel so completely clueless. I feel like everyone around me knows what they should/shouldn't be doing, what they should/shouldn't be eating, what they need to ask and do... and I have no freaking clue!! I feel like I don't even know what to ask my midwife at my appointment in a couple hours... ACK! :

[My3babes]

Ahh sorry mama. My MW gives me all kinds of pamphlets/magazines and a list of things to avoid, medicines I can take, etc.

Do you have any books like "what to expect when you are expecting??"

[xekomaya]

It's okay! One of the biggest things I've learned from MDC is that pregnancy and birth are not emergencies, and fully happen in their own time. You have plenty of time to figure everything out.

Do you know your midwife? Are you interviewing her? Baby center has a list of questions to ask -- I didn't read through all of it and a lot of their information can be really mainstream, but it seems thorough and will at least suggest some questions you might want to ask

http://www.babycenter.com/0_midwife-...eet_1428556.bc

If you know and trust her, I'm sure she can give you lots of helpful advice on things you should and shouldn't be doing now. I'm sure its both exciting and nerve wracking to go to your first visit!

[Ironica]

It's tough on the first one! There's soooo much I didn't know the first time around. The only reason I saw a midwife instead of an OB is because that was the first open appointment... I had no idea how lucky I was to have fallen into that practice until much later. I didn't find a DDC until my fifth month or so... and then it was a yucky mainstream one.

So you're doing better than I was at this stage, even though our pregnancy was totally planned in advance (practically from our first date ;-). Go you!

[blizzard_babe]

I'm so very clueless, also. I'm waiting on a few books (SHOULD be arriving at the post office today; I'll go check my box at 3), but in the meantime, am just kind of bumbling along.

I figure I have at least 30 more weeks to learn things the hard way.

[All together ooky]

There is a nice list of questions to ask when interviewing a midwife in the "home birth" forum on here. It's stickied. I found it very helpful.

[s_kristina]

I think the What to Expect books tend towards scare tactics on most things so don't like them at all. They also give horrid anti AP advice in addition to their horrible bf advice. I do like the Sears Pregnancy and Birth books. Those are ones that I tend to give to friends that I don't know if they are AP or not as they can be a great opening to many AP practices, but still look more mainstream as they are written by an MD.

[3for3hb]

I second anything by Dr. Sears. Ava Romm's pregnancy book is really good too

Don't worry, there's definitely a learning curve. I'm still learning stuff and this is my third time around. I'm a huge proponent of making educated decisions and self-education of those topics that need deciding (whew, preggo brain is preventing me from really being able to express myself these days: )

Plus, OP, you're here, and the mamas in this ddc (and others) will help guide you if there are things you don't understand. It's only the first tri Just don't be shy about asking !

[All together ooky]

Oh yes! the Sears books are good. And I always recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Loved Spiritual Midwifery but I think it can be a little too psychedelic/hippie for some.

[lobster]

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin is a good book, and I also enjoy the Dr. Sears books. If you go to the La Leche League site, they also have a bunch of books available to order that tend to be pretty good.

[ErikaG]

In addition to the Ina May Gaskin book, and the Sears books and the Simkin book, my friends have suggested "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" which has been nice in that it's so finely detailed. I love the Sears Pregnancy book, but it addresses things in much larger chunks, whereas the Week by Week book is easy to digest in small bites, one week at a time. My spouse and I sit down and read it outloud to each other together one night each week.

They universally panned the "What to Expect" books, calling them panic inducing, heterosexist, unnatural and fat-phobic.

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by ErikaG

They universally panned the "What to Expect" books, calling them panic inducing, heterosexist, unnatural and fat-phobic.

huh? do you mean banned? and who is they?

[ErikaG]

Nope, I don't mean "banned."

"Panned" means to criticize severely. You can read more about it at http://m-w.com/dictionary/panned

"They" referred to my friends, who provided a number of good book recommendations that I've found very valuable.

[Organicavocado]

I agree with run from the what to expect books.

Love you will figure it all out While youre feeling icky eat what you can eat and then when you feel better eat what you would normally gravitate towards that you think would be delicious and healthy all at once. Maybe do a little nutrition research just through google, so its free. Learn about digestible nutrients and vitamins, fats, meats, and whats in what and what to avoid this way. All maternity books will tell you what they think is good nutrition, but follow your body and your mind and you will get what you need that way. Raw veggies and fruits are always lovely, and lists of what to totally avoid are all over the 'net.

-hug-

[chely7425]

Thanks everyone... I know it will all work out but I can't help but feel like a total moron... not to mention I am super frusterated with the whole finding a m/w or whatever thing.... blargh, I just wish it would all be figure out for me so I could go take a nap.

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by ErikaG

Nope, I don't mean "banned."

"Panned" means to criticize severely. You can read more about it at http://m-w.com/dictionary/panned

"They" referred to my friends, who provided a number of good book recommendations that I've found very valuable.

gotcha i read it wrong