Am I making a bigger deal then I need to? - Page 4

[KalamazooMom]

I would have signed it. Seems to me the school justs wants parents to understand that they play a crucial role in the process and signing the compact would just be an indicator that you "get it" and will do your best to be involved and supportive, etc.

[BusyMommy]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

I have also noticed a "teacher versus parents" thing going on. Most teachers seem in favout of the compact, while a good chunk of the parents (myself included) have issues with it.

I hope this is not too OT, but I find the us versus them mentality a little scary, and don't like how parents and teachers seem to see the other side as adversaries. I wonder if this is how it is on a bunch of issues (not just this one).

I agree w/you on many points here but I'm both so yeah, it's possible to still be Mom and "the"teacher. But, yep, ITA that as a T, it scares me sometimes to read.
ok, I'm late sorry but wanted to catch you on this--

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

parents are the guardians of their children - not teachers, and secondly, we pay their salaries.

: It's almost as if the school considers the student to be *their* child and they are demanding that the parent read to *their* (the school's) child. We, as the parents of the child, and as the ones who are paying the school for a service, should be the ones basically saying "here is MY child, she's going to spend some time with you because you've been hired to teach her, and I encourage you to read to her every day, etc." Not saying those exact words to them, but being entitled to come to the school with those expectations.

This is WAY off topic, but I was just reminded of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry takes his car to the mechanic and the mechanic wants him to sign a statement saying "I will check the oil every 100 miles," etc.

And for that matter, the Mad About You episode when the dog walker demands a statement like "we will brush the dog's teeth every day" and so forth.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

I have also noticed a "teacher versus parents" thing going on. Most teachers seem in favout of the compact, while a good chunk of the parents (myself included) have issues with it.

I hope this is not too OT, but I find the us versus them mentality a little scary, and don't like how parents and teachers seem to see the other side as adversaries. I wonder if this is how it is on a bunch of issues (not just this one).

I must admit, I would like to see teachers be the ones to bridge this divide and become more flexible (or to "hear" parents more). First off, parents are the guardians of their children - not teachers, and secondly, we pay their salaries.

So I think we a right to demand that teachers be more accomodating to us (not the other way around).

That is way OT. I just had to put it out there though, as food for thought.

Kathy

I really think that the teachers are getting messages from - where, I'm not sure exactly, but certainly it's very broadly based - that they are supposed to guide what happens in the family - get parents to do x (read with their children, supervise homework, eat properly.)

I have a lot of sympathy for them because really - what can they do? All this "stuff" - pledges and agenda book signing and homework assignments "for the whole family" is really geared towards trying to control the time outside of the school day. I know some of the reasons for it - it was really frustrating to work in special ed and have a whole range of problems sometimes come down to "didn't eat breakfast."

But the idea that teachers change families is to my mind more of a Hollywood creation than a reality. I personally think this creates a lot of frustration and wasted effort. The pledge that started this thread - sure, sign it or don't sign it, whatever. But really it is emblematic of a problem between teachers and parents.

(Sure, there are teachers who have developed relationships with families and changed their dynamics for the better, helped get children the proper diagnoses and help, etc. But I do not think this really ever happens globally - that a teacher sends a sheet home to read a book every night and suddenly a non-reading household blossoms into a literary salon. I also think it is a little grandiose for the educational system to think that this is its goal.)

I think parents should be given information, in case they need it. I also think if there is a problem then there should be a specific discussion geared to that family and child to address it. But I think the schools should stop trying to dictate what happens at home, except for certain kinds of useful homework - and if it is really useful, and age-appropriate, it shouldn't be a nightly battle on the part of the parents.

Also, a child is more than his or her formal education. In my family we volunteer several hours a week and I'm sorry, but to me that is just as important as homework will ultimately be - it connects us intergenerationally, to our community, and gives ourselves and our kids concrete examples of how we apply our skills to create change in the world. This would trump my "pledge" to make sure homework is completed on time.

And secondly, it really does create a "top-down" dynamic. Why is the assumption that the teacher should tell me what to do an hour a night, when I don't have the option of telling the teacher what to do for an hour during his or her day? It's condescending.

[diamond lil]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

But the idea that teachers change families is to my mind more of a Hollywood creation than a reality. I personally think this creates a lot of frustration and wasted effort. The pledge that started this thread - sure, sign it or don't sign it, whatever. But really it is emblematic of a problem between teachers and parents.

I was looking for the "yeah, that" smilie and couldn't find it, but YEAH, THAT!

[Sustainer]

: yeah :

without the spaces

[aniT]

I would never promise anyone I would be anywhere on time. I would promise to try my hardest.. but I wont promise to accomplish it.

I also don't think I would sign that. I don't like the way it is worded.

As a parent/guardian I will: read to my child every day, You know, some days there just isn't TIME to read to my child. And I know by seven my daughter's could read by themselves, they didn't want me to read to them.

show respect with my words and actions for my child,They are telling me how to parent here and it isn't their place. Not that I would do otherwise, but again, it is not the schools place.

provide a place for homework and check to see that all work is completed, My daughter spent SIX hours one night last week completing her homework. The number one problem, she already knew how to do it, was bored and didn't want to do it. She is one of those children who simply piddle over stuff that is "boring." I tried talking to the teacher about it but was told that he had the option to keep her in at recess if she didn't complete it. I told him that would not work for her.. she NEEDS her breaks. I already feel the Us vs them thing going on anyway. Aww.. but that is a whole nother thread.

ask my child about schoolwork every day, Yea.. I generally ask if she has homework when she gets home anyway. But annoying that I am supposed to promise them to do it.

see that my child attends school on time,Haha again with the on time thing. I sent DD down to eat breakfast this morning while I nursed DS. I told her to have some yogurt or a bowl of cereal.(we are not morning people.) I gave her 20 minutes. When her 20 minutes were up she was still going back and forth trying to decide what to eat. I made her get dressed and eat a Kashi bar on the way to school.

communicate and work with the school to encourage my childs learning and positive behavior. In my experience, "work with the school" means do as we say, how we say, and when we say it. Your opinions are irrelevant. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. (Yes I have actually been told that by a principal!)

I have never meet a teacher who was willing to work "with me." They all want everything done exactly their way with no deviation. If there are some teachers out there like that.. thats great! However you are few and far between and in my 8 years experience with public schools in four different counties and two different states, I have YET to meet you!