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Should parents be charge with a crime if... - Page 6

post #101 of 145
I think charges should be filed. Say an adult left his or her limited-function parent or disabled spouse in a hot car and the same tragedy happened? You bet charges would be filed. Why should the law be more lenient on a parent caring for a child? Is a parent's loss of a child somehow greater than the loss of a disabled parent or spouse? I think most people assume that the neglectful parent has somehow "suffered enough;" sorry, but I don't quite buy into that.
post #102 of 145
The thing Im noticing about the parents saying that you have accidentally left your baby in the car before is that it was only for about 10-30 minutes which is a long time but still its not HOURS. I just dont see how you can forget for a long period of time, I mean I would even be calling the daycare, etc. just to make sure everything was okay.
post #103 of 145
I know that accidents happen, but I'm not sure this was one of them. Don't we (as a society) need to find out what really happened? Just because this woman says she forgot, doesn't mean it is true. The video actually makes me more concerned, she seems...I don't know what, but it doesn't smell right.
I also noticed that each person who has admited to this sort of mistake has said it was minutes that passed not 8 or 10 or 12 hours. Someone needs to look closely each time this happens.
post #104 of 145
I've read a lot of the posts and wasn't quite sure of how I felt. On one hand, the idea of a parent forgetting a child in a hot car for hours is just so out of my range of comprehension.... but I'm pretty sure that the parents who have done this felt the same way, before it happened in their own lives. My heart breaks for their loss. If I had been in their shoes, I don't know if I could go on living after that, honestly. I can't imagine being responsible for the death of one of my kids, just because I was preoccupied or on auto-pilot one morning. Nothing in the world - no punishment doled out by the courts - could make me feel more guilty or more heart-wrechingly broken as a person after that.

I think criminal charges should be determined on a case-by-case basis, personally. I feel totally different about the parents who "forget" because of some variance in their routine (like the father who left his baby in the car at work on a day that he usually didn't handle the morning drop-off routine) than I do about a mom who left her kids in the car while she went in to go tanning.

When I think of some of these parents, who are so obviously destroyed from losing a child, in jail next to rapists and theives and child molesters, it just doesn't sound like justice to me.
post #105 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by woobysma View Post

I think criminal charges should be determined on a case-by-case basis, personally. I feel totally different about the parents who "forget" because of some variance in their routine (like the father who left his baby in the car at work on a day that he usually didn't handle the morning drop-off routine) than I do about a mom who left her kids in the car while she went in to go tanning.
I think this is a really interesting article on it:

http://ggweather.com/heat/ap_sentencing.htm

I don't have much consideration for people who deliberately left their kids. But for people who forgot, I still think it's just too easy for people to say "oh they must be negligent & are totally unlike me."

I maintain that everyone makes mistakes every year that could be fatal, just most of them are not.

I have been thinking about this both generally and because my son is newly in daycare and I think that is the only time that this would be even a remote possibility (that the morning routine was altered). Our daycare calls both parents if the child doesn't show up and they haven't had a call, which is a pretty simple thing to do (and less disruptive than every parent calling them to check up on their child all at 8:30 or whatever). So that practice alone could do it, if all the daycares made it standard.
post #106 of 145
O.K. I've read most of the posts but not all. I don't know if anyone mentioned this:
Security video shows that she was able to remember (twice) to unload the doughnuts she brought for meetings at her job, but nevertheless left her daughter in her car seat. The event is pictured.

I got this from: http://www.bloggernews.net/19973

It just makes me sick.
post #107 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by vac70 View Post
O.K. I've read most of the posts but not all. I don't know if anyone mentioned this:
Security video shows that she was able to remember (twice) to unload the doughnuts she brought for meetings at her job, but nevertheless left her daughter in her car seat. The event is pictured.

I got this from: http://www.bloggernews.net/19973

It just makes me sick.
I really do hear where you are coming from, but I keep thinking how she's going to feel every time she brings a bite of anything to her mouth again.

I would think the guilt would kill a person.
post #108 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by vac70 View Post
O.K. I've read most of the posts but not all. I don't know if anyone mentioned this:
Security video shows that she was able to remember (twice) to unload the doughnuts she brought for meetings at her job, but nevertheless left her daughter in her car seat. The event is pictured.

I got this from: http://www.bloggernews.net/19973

It just makes me sick.
see, this is one of the cases where I think a parent should be charged. If it's true that this wasn't an isolated thing & she had done it on multiple occasions in the past, I think it's different than if it was just one-time horrible mistake. I remember seeing a guy on Oprah that forgot his baby in the back seat and his child died. Neither he nor his wife had ever forgotten the child before.

I've never forgotten a child in the car, but I did forget to get my dog out of the back of our car after a walk one day a few months ago. We got home, I had to pee, I hurried and got DS2 out of his seat and ran inside. I completely forgot about our dog until 6 hours later when DP mentioned that he hadn't seen him around. I was SHOCKED. Thank god the windows were down and it wasn't hot. I know it's nothing like leaving a child, but that one incident made me always check to make sure every living creature was out of the car when I leave.
If someone has a proven track record of leaving their kids in a car, then yeah, I think steps need to be taken to protect the remaining children in a household when one child dies. It's not unreasonable to think that it could happen again in that case.
post #109 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by woobysma View Post
see, this is one of the cases where I think a parent should be charged. If it's true that this wasn't an isolated thing & she had done it on multiple occasions in the past, I think it's different than if it was just one-time horrible mistake. I remember seeing a guy on Oprah that forgot his baby in the back seat and his child died. Neither he nor his wife had ever forgotten the child before.


If someone has a proven track record of leaving their kids in a car, then yeah, I think steps need to be taken to protect the remaining children in a household when one child dies. It's not unreasonable to think that it could happen again in that case.
I thought what was said was that she made several trips back to the vehicle that day, not that she had left the child behind several times before. Did I miss something in one of the video clips or articles?

I'm thinking the child was asleep or silent when she made the trips back to the vehicle and she somehow didn't realize she was there. I can't imagine the neverending horror of replaying that day over and over in my head for the rest of my life, and knowing that I remembered the doughnuts and forgot my baby.

Is there a question that she actually knew the baby was there?
post #110 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl View Post
they accidentally leave their child in a hot car and the child dies?
The issue has been all over the news today with the mother (who was an assistant principal) who accidentally left her toddler in the car and attended faculty meetings for her job. The toddler died.

Several years ago, a man that I didn't really know but knew of through the church, returned from a mission trip with jet lag and left his three year old daughter in the car. She died. This was in Virginia and the last I heard he was charged with child neglect. I do not know what ultimately happened.

I have also heard of people who knowingly left their children in the car (who later have died) because they didn't have anyone to watch them. This, to me, is a different story.

What are your thoughts?
accidently my ass! there is NO reason to 'forget' your child is in the back seat! They should be charged! ABSOLUTELY!
post #111 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
I really do hear where you are coming from, but I keep thinking how she's going to feel every time she brings a bite of anything to her mouth again.

I would think the guilt would kill a person.
Yeah...lets just get rid of the whole justice system.
post #112 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma2girls View Post
accidently my ass! there is NO reason to 'forget' your child is in the back seat! They should be charged! ABSOLUTELY!
I totally agree. No way a child could be forgotten. No way.
post #113 of 145
I haven't read all the replies, so this might be repeating someone...sorry, if so...

I don't think so... I mean, if it is intentional, then yeah...but if it is genuinely an accident, then no. I see it as sort of a slippery slope. How many of us cosleep against the very prevalent recommendations otherwise? If one of our children died due to SIDS, would we support charging the parents because they cosleep? I certainly wouldn't...despite the fact that we all know there are risks to cosleeping.
post #114 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by lml41981 View Post
I don't think so... I mean, if it is intentional, then yeah...but if it is genuinely an accident, then no. I see it as sort of a slippery slope. How many of us cosleep against the very prevalent recommendations otherwise? If one of our children died due to SIDS, would we support charging the parents because they cosleep? I certainly wouldn't...despite the fact that we all know there are risks to cosleeping.
And since many more SIDS deaths occur when infants are put to sleep in cribs, NOT co-sleeping is even riskier. I see your point, but disagree with the analogy you're using.

I also disagree with the poster who felt that expressing compassion toward a parent who's accidentally caused her child's death, was tantamount to saying, "Let's get rid of the whole justice system."
post #115 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
I think this is a really interesting article on it:

http://ggweather.com/heat/ap_sentencing.htm

I don't have much consideration for people who deliberately left their kids. But for people who forgot, I still think it's just too easy for people to say "oh they must be negligent & are totally unlike me."

I maintain that everyone makes mistakes every year that could be fatal, just most of them are not.

I have been thinking about this both generally and because my son is newly in daycare and I think that is the only time that this would be even a remote possibility (that the morning routine was altered). Our daycare calls both parents if the child doesn't show up and they haven't had a call, which is a pretty simple thing to do (and less disruptive than every parent calling them to check up on their child all at 8:30 or whatever). So that practice alone could do it, if all the daycares made it standard.
I read that article a few weeks ago, and I absolutely do think that there are cases in which a parent can genuinely forget that his/her child is in the car, especially if there is some switching in the routine as to which parent is taking the child and such.

I do find it interesting that more deaths have occurred since the practice of turning the car seats around has become common. I also find it interesting that fathers and DCP's get different sentencing than mothers. DCP's are apparently jailed more often, but get lighter sentences, as do fathers.

And, FWIW, not everyone who accidentally causes the death of another person is charged with a crime. The circumstances of each case have to be weighed. I am supposing that a woman who "forgets" her child outside a tanning salon is more likely to be charged than a woman or man whose child is left in the car outside her/his office. I also would think that it would be more difficult to forget more than one child, especially if one of the children is old enough to talk.

I don't think that every time a child dies someone should automatically be held accountable.
post #116 of 145
I just don't get the idea here that someone could forget the baby in the car. *Someone* buckled/clicked baby in, put the diaper bag in the car, brought the pacifiers outside, covered up the baby with a blanket/ adjusted the sunshade, put the extra diapers in the car and made sure there was a change of clothes or clean clothes to be brought out and taken back to the care provider, sippy cups, bottles, breastmilk/formula, etc...said to their S/O that they were leaving now, do I have everything I need for X, in the car? How is that possible to forget? Most people that I know carry around so much stuff for their child especially what is required if they are cared for at a daycare, there are all kinds of clues in the car to remind them that they are not alone! The stuff is right by their briefcase that they remember to pick up and take into the office!!!
post #117 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by imahappymama View Post
I just don't get the idea here that someone could forget the baby in the car. *Someone* buckled/clicked baby in, put the diaper bag in the car, brought the pacifiers outside, covered up the baby with a blanket/ adjusted the sunshade, put the extra diapers in the car and made sure there was a change of clothes or clean clothes to be brought out and taken back to the care provider, sippy cups, bottles, breastmilk/formula, etc...said to their S/O that they were leaving now, do I have everything I need for X, in the car? How is that possible to forget? Most people that I know carry around so much stuff for their child especially what is required if they are cared for at a daycare, there are all kinds of clues in the car to remind them that they are not alone! The stuff is right by their briefcase that they remember to pick up and take into the office!!!
These kinds of posts baffle me.

The only conclusion that can be drawn from them is that the person believes that the children are intentionally left to broil to their deaths.
post #118 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by imahappymama View Post
I just don't get the idea here that someone could forget the baby in the car. *Someone* buckled/clicked baby in, put the diaper bag in the car...
Hmmm ... maybe the other parent loaded the baby and stuff into the car the night before, to save time in the morning. Multi-tasking and all that.
post #119 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by blessed View Post
These kinds of posts baffle me.

The only conclusion that can be drawn from them is that the person believes that the children are intentionally left to broil to their deaths.
What I was refuting is the defense that I have heard/read saying that parents that are out of their routine have to have clues to remind them of their child. My car is now full of junk, but when I have the kids, even as infants, there is always something present to remind me of them. I don't understand this line of defense. I would hope that there are truly parents who don't do this, but that is a lame and unbelievable defense.
post #120 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Hmmm ... maybe the other parent loaded the baby and stuff into the car the night before, to save time in the morning. Multi-tasking and all that.
Hopefully they didn't load the baby in the night before...
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