Why do kids 'need' cell phones??? - Page 3

[kblackstone444]

We got our son a cell phone for his birthday. He's not allowed to use it during school or to call anyone not in his contacts (they're all free- we alll have Verizon), but it's good to know I can call him or send him a text telling him I'mm gonna be late coming home from work or if he wants to go to a friend's house, he can tell me so if I come home from work and he's not home, I don't worry.

[Dar]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

So you couldn't be out of contact with your daughter for 2.5 hours, even though you knew where she was, who she was with, and what time to expect her home?

So, turning this around, what if the friends she was with decided to go smoke a joint in the woods behind the concert, and Unschoolnma's daughter didn't want to partake, or even be around that. She could stay at the concert by herself at night for 2.5 hours... or ask a random stranger to borrow his cell phone, but that would seem to support the idea that cell phones *are* necessary. And what if it wasn't a 2.5 hour outdoor concert, but a full day event... and what if, instead of the pot, Unschoolma's daughter started feeling very ill and wanted to go home, or she fell and broke a bone (no, wait, that's my daughter's modus operandi). If the kids were older and had cars that would be one thing, but for 12-15 year olds, they're pretty much stuck without a phone.

Dar

[mandib50]

i don't think kids *need* a cellphone. clearly though, they are useful in certain circumstances.

that being said, i have a cell phone that is 4 years old sitting in my drawer never being used. i think we are probably one of the last families in canada without a cell phone. we keep saying we're going to get one and then we never do

this will change once i start my midwifery apprenticeship and then at least the kids will be able to contact me whenever they need to.

until then, we're good with saying we're going to by a cell phone and then not buying it

[TinkerBelle]

I won't buy my kids a cellphone. They can earn the money if they want one, when they are older. In our situation, they are not necessary. If that changes, we will revisit the idea.

[North_Of_60]

The day I ran out of gas in South Florida in when it was 100 degrees out and I had to walk down the side of the highway with a 5 month old I went from thinking they're conveniences to thinking of them of as necessities. I never go without my phone. We live in an area that is spread out, so if I break down or get lost (which happens a lot because I'm not from around here) then it's a looooooong hot walk. If it was just myself I had to worry about I might not care. But walking down the side of the road with cars zooming by while I was holding my infant (and you wouldn't know it, that was the day I forgot my sling) was enough to convince me.

As a matter of fact, DH is at best buy right now replacing my phone because it's broken. I won't leave the house without it.

When DD is old enough, she'll have her own phone. There are also phones on the market that you can program to only be able to dial a few numbers, so no cell phone abuse. I couldn't a give a rats behind if she wanted to call friends, but if she misses a bus, gets lost on a school trip, etc, I want her to be able to call me NOW... not after she wanders around looking for payphone.

[JustJamie]

Hey, I'm not judging anyone, so no more personal attacks against me, k? thanks.

I just think it's ironic that the "natural family living community" is so tied down by such a modern convenience.

A teen being "alone" for 2.5 hours at a concert is not a big deal...besides...the teen would probably know that the friend smokes pot and/or would be likely to go smoke a joint during the concert (I was certainly aware of which of my friends partook) and would probably be able to avoid the situation by saying "Hey, dude, not cool, just chill here for the concert" or by *gasp* not going to the concert with someone who does drugs! Amazing how that works...of course, it relies on the teen having good judgment, and the parent being aware of what's going on.

A teen being "alone" for 10 hours isn't a huge deal either - you say "let's meet at X location every hour to check in"...boom, you keep tabs on your kid, they can wander at will, and no need for a cell phone - just a watch.

And, most locations that have public gatherings - such as an outdoor amphitheater - have first aid tents (if you're feeling ill or break a bone) or a security office.

I will concede to the breaking down with a 5 month old...that would suck, and that is a situation where, without a phone, you would be entirely at the mercy of good Samaritans. However...I don't think your every day run-of-the-mill teen is going to have a 5 month old in their car.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

So you couldn't be out of contact with your daughter for 2.5 hours, even though you knew where she was, who she was with, and what time to expect her home?

It's not that *I* don't want to be out of contact, it's that I don't want *her* out of contact.

Cell phones were just becoming popular when I was in highschool. It was about a 45 minute walk to and from school for me, and at one point the path that crossed the river got closed due to a rape investigation. I had to walk AROUND, which would have taken about 3 hours. By the time I hit the river path and saw the yellow tape and all the police officers, I was already 20 minutes into my walk, along a river where there are no shops or pay phones. So I had to make a decision - walk around and *hope* there is a phone to call my mom for a ride. Or walk back to the school and hope it was still open so I could get in to use a phone there (I was walking home after a game, most of the school was still closed up). I chose to keep walking, where about an hour later I was able to borrow a phone at a car dealership.

My mom just assumed I was running late at school and that I'd call when I got a chance. She wasn't worried. But after she learned I had been walking around by the river alone, where there was an investigation going on, with no way to call home and tell her I was late, it really sunk in that we needed a way to keep in touch. Not only that, but had she decided to go looking for me along my usual route since she knew "exactly where I was and and when I'd be home", she wouldn't have found me. Nor would she have know where to look, since from the road you can't see that the river path was closed. She would have had to start driving around town on all my possible routes, trying to piece together why I *might* have gone. But, since this was in the age of "I'll just call when I get there, no big deal" the fact that I called only 45 minutes later wasn't a big deal. There were no alarm bells going off since it was normal for people to run late, find a phone, find a quarter, etc etc.

Originally Posted by JustJamie

It's just not that hard to say "I need the phone number of the place where you'll be, or you're not going." It's not hard to find out the name (and phone number) of the school where games and events are being held.

I do that now even WITH a cell phone. Why pay the minutes if you can use a landline? But when I'm out alone with a baby, stuck on the side of the highway with no gas, it sure came in handy.

And I want my daughter to be able to call me if she gets stuck, lost, locked out, broken down, etc.

[jennnk]

Cell phones were BRICKS when I was in high school, and very few kids had them. If we went to the mall with someone's mom and wanted to go off by ourselves, we'd agree on a meeting point (cinnabon, usually, lol) and a time (an hour from now) and regroup. If I went to a friend's house and we wanted to go somewhere else, we'd use the land line to let our parents know what was up. If we were at a football game and a friend wanted me to sleep over, we'd either use the pay phone at the school or just go to the friend's house, call from there, and if it wasn't ok (though it usually was because it was the weekend and my mom could use the break), I'd go home. When we got in from field trips, I'd call collect and instead of saying my name, I'd say "we're back, come get me"; Mom would reject the call and drive over. My mom had a list of all my friend's numbers right there in the kitchen, and she still has a list because my brother's 18 and still living at home. If he's not home within 30 minutes of curfew, she starts making calls. They don't have cell phones because they can't afford them and my mom is a bit of a Luddite. Her partner has a pay-as-you-go phone, and he uses it when he's working music festivals & such, but usually he only uses $20 every few months.

George's siblings all have their own phones and it's been nothing but headaches. They have a land line and call waiting, yet they use their cells to talk to their friends when they're at home. They constantly go over their text limits, give their mom hassle about paying their part of the bill (V is 21, J is 18, and G is 17, they all have jobs and verbally agreed to pay for the bill if they got the phone), it goes on & on. I can understand having a phone if your kid is driving somewhere, especially at night or in a rural area, but MIL has a cell phone they could borrow for that purpose. No, they want their own because MIL's phone isn't "cool" enough

Andy's too young for his own phone, though he does have the store display phones that George brings home from work. I'm not planning on sending him to school, so he won't be texting in class, but I don't see myself willing to get him his own phone, either. We kept in touch just fine before the invention of cell phones.

[graceshappymum]

Thank you, thank you...yes we all somehow managed to keep in touch before the advent of the cell phone. Dh and I both had one for a while and now we don't ahve any, and neither will DD, unless something in our situation changes to necessitate it, and I just don't see what that would be. That having been said, I am not against them all together. My little brother, 24 in April, is currently doing his PhD in Toronto. He could either get a land line or a cell, he went for the cell, and I must admit that it makes sense in his case.

DH has a much larger issue with cells that I do, he can't understand the need to be constantly available. He figures if people want him for something they will leave a message at home.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

However...I don't think your every day run-of-the-mill teen is going to have a 5 month old in their car.

5 month old or not, breaking down along the highway/interstate is dangerous regardless. My FIL once stopped at at accident where a car flipped into a canal, and a looky loo who was busy staring at the accident drove onto the shoulder and hit one of the patrol cars. : The BIGGEST risk for people who break down on the side of the road is being hit by a car that is too busy looking at what's going on instead of concentrating on where they are going.

If I had a cell phone the day I ran out gas, I would have gotten as far away from the highway as possible and waited for my ride to get there. Walking along highways is not safe, and if/when my daughter is allowed to drive, she will most deffinitly have a cell phone in case the same thing happens.

[KBecks]

they don't need cell phones

there is no need for a cell phone. I'm sure a lot of people get them for "emergencies", but they end up getting used for social reasons.

In an emergency, cell phones are so prevalent that it's easy enough to ask someone to use theirs.

[KBecks]

Originally Posted by tatermom

Just reading this thread out of curiosity as it's not an issue we'll have to deal with for a while, but I wanted to comment that it's much harder to find a working payphone nowadays that it was in the past.

That is true, but it's not difficult to ask someone to use their cell phone. In a mall, I've gone to the cell phone sales people (that are EVERYWHERE) and just tell them I need to use one of their phones and they have let me.

[kerikadi]

My 14 year old has been to several concerts including the all day BuzzFest with alternative rock bands but never without my husband.
Obviously we all feel comfortable with different freedoms given to our children.
By the time my son is driving he will have a job and will pay for his own cell phone. Before the age of 16 he won't be going anywhere without us that isn't reachable.

When we go to the mall and split up the only technology we need is a watch - meet me here at X time. I feel there is more accountability when they know they have to be somewhere at a certain time rather than using a cell phone.

I have a cell phone and I am sure it came in handy with your baby and no gas but we are talking about pre-teen and teenagers here, not Mama's.

It seems more necessary once they are driving in case the car breaks down or runs out of gas. But before driving age to me seems unnecessary for most.
Driving+job=self paid cell phone.

Keri

[KBecks]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

I will concede to the breaking down with a 5 month old...that would suck, and that is a situation where, without a phone, you would be entirely at the mercy of good Samaritans. However...I don't think your every day run-of-the-mill teen is going to have a 5 month old in their car.

I've broken down w/o a cell phone at night twice with the kids in the car. Once was very scary and I did get myself a pay as you go phone after that. The second time my phone was not working. I stood behind my car and waved my arms to traffic and made the sign to telephone. I had a police car come to assist me within 15 minutes and another samaritan stopped.

I am comfotable w/o a cell phone where I live. But I live in an area that is known for helpful people and a fairly safe community, and the police and rescue here are responsive. The bad parts of the city are not terrifying as they might be in other areas of the country. If I lived in a larger more dangerous area I may want my kids to have cell phones for security, but I am comfortable with them getting along w/o them where we live. I expect them to learn that other people are helpful and for them to learn to help others in need.

[KBecks]

Originally Posted by Synthea™

Because bad stuff happens to good kids and a cell phone can mean the difference between life and death, not being raped, kidnapped, etc, etc. Cell phones, as horrible as they are for bees, are IMO, one of the best inventions ever.

Honestly, I don't think a cell phone can prevent a rape or kidnapping. It may reduce the chances slightly, but it would not be difficult at all for an abductor to wrestle a phone away from someone. I wish cell phones could prevent abductions, but that's overly optimistic.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by KBecks

That is true, but it's not difficult to ask someone to use their cell phone. In a mall, I've gone to the cell phone sales people (that are EVERYWHERE) and just tell them I need to use one of their phones and they have let me.

Wel...this is a true story...I forgot my cell, and I was in the parking lot of the library, which had just closed, and I knew I had to pick up my child from a track meet, but i didn't know remember the addy. I asked two people in the parking lot if I could use their cell. One was a teen who said that her parents check every call and she would get in trouble, and the other was a guy who wouldn't let me dial. (Maybe he thought I would take it and run?) Anyway, my dd's phone didn't answer-- they must have still been warming up away from their backpacks. In the end, nobody died, but i had to drive 20 minutes in the other direction to get the addy from my house.

It was a pita, and I am an adult with a car, and am not as vulnerable as a young teen woman. I don't want my kid to have to worry if she doesn't have to. I think people are thinking cell phones are thise fancy toys kids don't need, and only rich kids have. Whereas others of us are to the point where we see them for what they are-- the greatest invention for parents of young people, ever. :

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by KBecks

Honestly, I don't think a cell phone can prevent a rape or kidnapping. It may reduce the chances slightly, but it would not be difficult at all for an abductor to wrestle a phone away from someone. I wish cell phones could prevent abductions, but that's overly optimistic.

How old are your children? I am really curious.

[JustJamie]

Soooooo...if the library just closed...the librarians were probably still there...meaning you could have knocked on the door, and if you were a teen 12-15 (which I think is the generally accepted age range in discussion) they'd PROBABLY have at least come to the door and asked what was wrong.

OR...you could always have been prepared, and written the address down on a piece of paper in your car. :

[kerikadi]

Originally Posted by UUMom

Wel...this is a true story...I forgot my cell, and I was in the parking lot of the library, which had just closed, and I knew I had to pick up my child from a track meet, but i didn't know remember the addy. I asked two people in the parking lot if I could use their cell. One was a teen who said that her parents check every call and she would get in trouble, and the other was a guy who wouldn't let me dial. (Maybe he thought I would take it and run?) Anyway, my dd's phone didn't answer-- they must have still been warming up away from their backpacks. In the end, nobody died, but i had to drive 20 minutes in the other direction to get the addy from my house.

It was a pita, and I am an adult with a car, and am not as vulnerable as a young teen woman. I don't want my kid to have to worry if she doesn't have to. I think people are thinking cell phones are thise fancy toys kids don't need, and only rich kids have. Whereas others of us are to the point where we see them for what they are-- the greatest invention for parents of young people, ever. :

So you and your DD having cell phones did lots of good? : You didn't have yours and she wasn't answering hers.

I guess I am one of those that do think it is a fancy toy/gadget. One of those things we got by without for years and managed to survive just fine.

When you know you don't have a cell phone you double check things before you leave the house. You make sure you have addresses and directions because you don't have the 'crutch' of a cell phone. One of my concerns is that kids don't learn to rely on themselves to take care of things like making sure they bring their homework, lunch, gym uniform, money etc. They don't worry about that stuff because they can always call their parents. I see it all the time when I am at the school - parents bring things to them because they aren' responsible enough to remember them. Why should they? They can just pick up their cell phone.

Yes, things happen. The first day of school my sons bus broke down and he was almost an hour late. We all managed to get through it without him calling me. If it got later I would have driven the route to school or called the bus yard to get information.

Keri

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by kerikadi

I have a cell phone and I am sure it came in handy with your baby and no gas but we are talking about pre-teen and teenagers here, not Mama's.

My point is, is if something as innoxious as running out to get groceries and gas resulted in something dangerous for *me*, an adult, why wouldn't it for my (one day)teen? And before driving age there are buses, and walking (to which I gave an example of above from when I was a teen).

For my mom, who has NO need for cell phone beyond emergencies, she has a prepaid phone that she spends 10 dollars on every 3 or 4 months that she can keep tucked into her purse. Every few days she puts it on the charger, but for the most part it stays turned off. But if/when she breaks down and needs help, she won't have to walk in the rain or snow looking for a pay phone or shop where she'll have to ask for a phone.

I'm with UU mom, why wouldn't you want that convenience? You don't have to use it. Keep it turned off, keep it charged, tuck into a pocket and forget about it.. but it's nice knowing that the your loved ones can call QUICKLY in an emergency.

It would be like me saying that I don't "need" to keep homeopathic in the house, because if I "really" needed them I could just go out and get them. Sure, but the store might be closed, or they might be sold out of what I need, or it might take longer. Why not be prepared?