WWYD? Freecycle posts...

[queenbean]

I'm in a bit of a quandary and was wondering what you folks would do. There's a pregnant girl in my Freecycle group who repeatedly asks for formula coupons, bottles, etc. to prepare for the new baby. A HUGE part of me wants to write her and tell her about breastfeeding, especially the "free" part of it since she appears to be strapped for cash from some things she's said. Would it be incredibly out of line? I don't know her. I of course want to help promote breastfeeding, but I also don't want to run the risk of ticking her off and getting myself put on notice with my Freecycle group. It wouldn't be against the rules, per se, but I'm not sure if it would be frowned upon.

[carriebft]

YOu could approach it has a "congrats on your pregnancy" and offer her any help you can. Tell her you have some information on breastfeeding and baby care if she would like it. Perhaps give her a few links like the prom mom 101 reasons to breastfeed. Or perhaps you have a few books you can offer to lend her?

Kinda use those things to test the waters, see if she is open to communication on it.

[Gumby]

I might be inclined to inquire about it...I'm just not sure of tactful way.

"um...why aren't you going to BF?"...not so graceful...

Hmm...hopefully some other mamas will have some advice.

I'd say, though, it's worth at least mentioning. I mean, she's already collecting this stuff, so it looks like only positive can happen?

Do you have any books you could give her? LLL or something?

[queenbean]

The only book I have is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I actually got it from another Freecycler and never got around to reading it yet. I'd be happy to give it to her though, I don't need it as much as she would.

Brittany, that's exactly my problem -- in person, I'd know how to be tactful about it, but it's so easy to misread somebody's tone in an email, so I don't know how to go about it while making sure that I didn't come across as snide or condescending. I'm not big on guilt trips, I don't want to come off that way if I approached the subject with her, you know?

[mommy2caroline]

You could say something along the lines of, "I don't have any bottles or formula as I am strapped for cash myself, but I do have some books I can loan you (or buy the Womanly Art for her if you're feeling generous!) on breastfeeding if that is something that would interest you. One of the best things I found out about it was that it is free! I can also give you information about a local support group..." Something like that, maybe. Perhaps even offer some other baby-related item if you have one laying around that you don't need - an outfit, or some coupons for baby shampoo, or that kind of thing.

But maybe my advice isn't good - there was a woman on my freecycle group asking for "help with diapers" and I responded saying that we can't afford disposables either and that's why we use cloth, and if she was interested she could get prefolds for pretty cheap, even on eBay. Maybe I offended her (or she just thought I was a freak ) because she never responded, and I saw a recent post again asking for diapers. And who knows, maybe she didn't have a washing machine anyways. I wasn't trying to convert her - just identifying the main reason I use cloth anyway - because it's cheaper!

[carriebft]

Maybe you could use your own pregnancy as your "in". Tell her about your local LLL group or maybe "these sites really helped me, I hope you like them, too!" or "I'd love to chat about babies with you, I have tons of info on diapering, breastfeeding, (etc)"

[queenbean]

That sounds like a really good way to approach it. Thank you! I'll try that. I do have some baby stuff lying around that I don't need (duplicates, things that I don't like, a bazillion baby lotions, and so on) so I could definitely do that.

[Ruthla]

It sounds like you've gotten some good advice already. Be careful to be tactful and friendly about it- she may have a legitmate reason for formula use, and she's under no obligation to share her health history with you!

A simple "I have some info and resources about breastfeeding if you're interested" is adequate- if she doesn't respond, just let it go.

[queenbean]

I am writing an email now -- I basically said that I have a lot of toys, some clothes (she's having a girl, and we have WAY too many girl clothes), bibs, baby lotion, things like that, as well as some BRU coupons, and then I said that I have a copy of Womanly Art and an extra manual pump if she's interested, and told her that one of the first thigns that drew me to breastfeeding was that it was free. I'm keeping the tone light, and not dwelling on the breastfeeding stuff too much, because as a PP said, I don't want to be pushy in case there's a legitimate reason for her not to nurse.

Thanks for the advice ladies! I appreciate it.

[Gumby]

Let us know! And regardless, you're helping another mama

[queenbean]

Well, she wrote me back. She said she wasn't sure if she was goign to breastfeed or use formula, but she was getting bottles "just in case." Sounds to me like she was trying to pacify me, cuz I've heard that line before. But she needs my other things, and I don't, so she's goign to pick them up next week, and I'm still gonna toss in that book and the URL of my site with my articles on parenting and breastfeeding. Hopefully something will click!