worried about labor pain

[maisiedotes]

I am all going through this pregnancy thinking "oh, yes, I am going to have a natural delivery, no drugs, etc." well, I guess I failed to think about HOW I am going to deal with the pain. I don't have a plan, besides to labor in the water. I guess I just want to know, is this something I should bother thinking about, or just deal with it when it happens? Last time, under the circumstances, I didn't care if I died in labor, I was so distraught. I also kept jumping up and dragging my IV into the bathroom saying "I HAVE TO POOP!" (I had no idea that was labor pain). I guess I want to remain calm and somewhat in control and not be freaking out and stuff.

Also, I have noticed that alot of you have upbeat labor music. Does it help? I keep thinking I will want calming, soothing music- I can see me hurling my iPod at DH if I have something upbeat on.

I am pretty new to this so would anyone care to share their master plan with me?

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by maisiedotes

Also, I have noticed that alot of you have upbeat labor music. Does it help? I keep thinking I will want calming, soothing music- I can see me hurling my iPod at DH if I have something upbeat on.

I am trying to imagine wanting ANY music at all. When I'm in pain, I HATE aural distractions. I keep looking for something soothing...no dice.

[marisa]

The best advice is to just go with the flow. You may want upbeat music in the beginning part of your laboring, but later on it will probably become too much stimulation. Staying in the water is a good idea. The ways I cope best with the pain is to sit on a heating pad on a birth ball and bounce up and down gently. Or run my hands under hot water in the bath or let the shower run over my head. You just need plenty of space and quiet and to be able to zone out free of chatter or distractions.

[boogiemonster]

I would say just educate yourself about all the measures you can take to make yourself more comfortable and see what you feel like at the time. I had no idea what kind of music I wanted, poor DH just had to keep switching CDs until I stopped bellowing at him. If your DH knows how to give you some pelvic massage, if you know about using the birth ball and labouring in different positions, if you think you might be into a focal point or meditating, read up on all of these and MAKE SURE YOUR DH DOES TOO. I wish my DH had bossed me around and made more suggestions last time, but he just assumed I knew what I was doing and kind of stood there like a dear in the headlights, bless his heart. That's why we're hiring a doula this time.

I have to admit, though, the doula thing has made me a little lazy. I haven't re-read any of my L&D info since I'm counting on her to have all the good ideas. I should get my buns in gear, I know.

[maisiedotes]

Originally Posted by marisa

You just need plenty of space and quiet and to be able to zone out free of chatter or distractions.

I guess my chatterbox mother will NOT be invited into the delivery...

I can see DH now: "ker? are you ok? do you want me to rub your back? do you want some water? are you hungry? want me to put some music on? do you want this? do you want that? what's wrong? are you ok?"

sometimes I just want peace and quiet- I will have to remind him of that constantly.

[renaissanceed]

As PPs have said, it's a good idea to educate yourself about different types of coping mechanisms but until you are in the moment, you won't know what will work for you.

I found that not only did I not want any music or noise, I also didn't want to see anything, so I kept my eyes closed for the whole event pretty much. Being able to move around and having the pool really helped a lot (and some soft pillows to throw at DH when I got grumpy about how my natural labour was not giving me any of those nice breaks that they talk about getting in natural labour).

But next time could be totally different, so I'll get some music ready...

[milkmamma]

After 2 intervention free child births I can tell you that you do have the inner peace and strength to do it. When it hurts just remind your self to relax into the pain. Remind yourself to relax every muscle you can so you aren't fighting against your body, visualize your body working to get your baby out and work with it not against. Don't focus on how much it hurts...focus on how much it is getting things done...a lot of "pain tolerance" has to do with your outlook on it. If you believe it is something you can't do or can't tolerate without medication then you'll need it but IF you go into it with the positive thoughts and beliefs that your body can do what it needs to do then you'll make it through.

Just believe in yourself and know that you can do it and that you'll forget all about it the second your beautiful miracle is placed in your arms...

wishing you a blessed delivery full of support and love.

[Valerieg]

ITA with the PP. Believe in yourself and you CAN do it. But I also think it is a good idea to educate yourself about positions and things you can do while in labor.

Personally, a completely quiet, dark, and calm room was all I wanted. DH said that I didn't make a peep the whole time besides to tell him to be quiet! I brought birth music (soothing) on an mp3 player. Nope...I didn't want the distraction.

I went into my own little quiet place and let my baby and my body do all the work. I just did my best to stay relaxed.

You can do this. YOU CAN!

[Curlita]

Our childbirth educator told us that at a certain point in labor, our partner's jokes will no longer seem funny. A bit later in labor, everything about our partner will irritate the hell out of us, including and up to their breath. I can vouch for that, as there was a point in labor where I made my husband go brush his teeth, poor guy.

Are you doing a birthing class at all? Ours spent either one or two nights on comfort measures and we tried things like massage, different kinds of supportive holds, comforting touch, different positions, walking, breathing, etc. The point was to try it out together and see what worked and what felt silly. I discovered that it was really soothing to have my husband stroke my hair. When I was actually in labor, I would support myself with my arms around his neck while my sister rubbed my back. My doula also coached me through some deep breathing (which was GREAT! she actually called me on unresolved tension one time and made me exhale a second time -- that's how in tune she was!).

I think it is good practice to think about it and try some things out, but I also think that once you get into labor, you have certain instincts about what you need and what position you want to be in, what kind of support you want. I've heard that keeping a routine can be really helpful -- that a lot of women derive comfort out of keeping to the same set of actions through each contraction.

[LittleLlama]

I had really no plan other than no meds. I hadn't taken any classes and didn't have any focal point, just DH there helping enforce the few things I felt strongly about.

As far as the actual pain of labor, even my nurse commented during and after how well I was doing at just being in the moment. You only have to handle one moment of pain at a time. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's not that bad, but it's just that one moment then you move on and deal with the next. I also thought I'd love the usual soft stroking that calms me down, but it drove me nuts and I kept batting at DH every time he'd touch my arm. The nurse keyed him in to try very hard stroking like a massage... I melted.

Every labor is different, but I remember the contractions being pretty uncomfortable and on the verge of being painful right up to transition. Those couple contractions were painful. Then it was time to push... that was just HARD. It was like hiking all day, letting your muscles wear out then having to do some heavy weight-lifting.

Also, I suspect that it was much more painful both emotionally and physically to be in labor when your body and the baby weren't ready for it. (())

[mothragirl]

Originally Posted by LittleLlama

I had really no plan other than no meds. I hadn't taken any classes and didn't have any focal point, just DH there helping enforce the few things I felt strongly about.

))

same here. it hurt and it took a long time, but i survived and i'm excited to do it again. just make drugs not an option in your head and be stubborn. would you put drugs in your body at any other time in your pregnancy?

[BabyBugsMom]

I've never taken a class, but I have done a lot of reading. Dh and I read Natural Childbirth: the Bradley Method together during my first pregnancy (and reread the highlights during each subsequent pregnancy), and found it very helpful.

With our five I've had a homebirth, a natural hospital birth, a section (for malpresentation), a natural VBAC, and a VBAC with one dose of Fentanol. I anticipate this birth will be another med-free VBAC, but am willing to use the short-acting pain meds again if I reach a point where I feel out of control. After five, I know where my limits are, kwim?

Each labor has been different for me. Pelvic rocks were very helpful during my first labor. I laid quietly on my side for almost the entire labor with my twins. My first VBAC required a LOT of walking, which I really didn't enjoy. My last labor was the first I've had that my water broke before I had any contractions. Thankfully the contractions started up pretty quickly, and I did most of my laboring on my side, again.

The Bradley Method book discusses the emotional milestones of labor, which we have found to be very true of the progression of my labors. It really helps dh to understand where I'm at in a labor by whether or not I want to listen to him joking or even talking, at a certain point. He's very good at talking me through transition, by being gently forceful--You can do this, you're doing really well, keep breathing (I have a tendency to hold my breath during contractions in transition).

I do NOT like being touched while in labor. I like dh to hold my hand when I'm in active labor. Sometimes I'll ask him for counter-pressure on my back during a contraction. Stroking my skin or hair would put me over the edge, though. I also don't want any music or other distractions when I'm in active labor. I tried having some music during my first labor, and hated it--we turned it off almost immediately.

[maisiedotes]

I took a class last time around and it was fun. The good thing is, every LDR room has a jacuzzi tub and birthing ball. Woohoo! At least I don't have to supply my own. I have several books I am going to be reading over the next several weeks to get myself ready the best I can. I am not a touchy-feely person for sure so I think maybe aside from a backscratch from DH, I am going to be telling him to just keep his mitts off me! Thank you all for your helpful advice.

[marisa]

A jacuzzi tub and birthing ball? I'd be all set!

[sorteep]

I don't know if this helps but for me being a big nautral health advocate and working in natural health field I just put my mind to it because I felt/ feel as though if I did "cave" and get drugs everyone would be SOOOOOO smug about it and I would get the "I told you so's" so the thought of having to face everyone who told me I could not do it and that I would be begging for drugs kept me from asking for them (even with horrendous back labor and a 3rd degree lac with #1) my stubborness came in handy ! I also just refused to give myself an option, mentally (unless something weird happened and intervention was necessary) same as with BF , for me it is non-negotiable

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by maisiedotes

I guess my chatterbox mother will NOT be invited into the delivery...

I can see DH now: "ker? are you ok? do you want me to rub your back? do you want some water? are you hungry? want me to put some music on? do you want this? do you want that? what's wrong? are you ok?"

sometimes I just want peace and quiet- I will have to remind him of that constantly.

Can you come up with a hand sign so that if you're in a contraction too intense to talk through you can still communicate "be quiet!" to him. That might be helpful!

[GinaRae]

I would just have some various things in place in case they sound good to you in the moment.

And don't forget to have a key word or gesture that tells hubby, "If you say another word, I am going to dip your head in soy milk and eat your brain. Shhhh now. I will ask when I need something."

If I remember right, I just like quiet. Peace. Little touch or interaction. Between contractions if there is a span of time, I may talk or move, but mostly my time is spent concentrating on relaxing and getting thru the next minute.

I plan to have music available, hubby can massage or whatever, but most likely I will just be laboring alone in my head as much as possible. HOURS can pass with my watching a key hole. Focal points do work well for me.

I know you feel that being distraught got you thru labor last time, but there was something else in you that made it possible too. Draw on that strength! Don't downplay it.

[Surfacing]

Interesting that you mention focal points, Gina. I laboured mostly with the midwives who just let me do my thing, but when the annoying OB popped in and did his annoying drill-sargeant pushing coaching ("Okay, come on! You can do it! GOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!") I actually seemed to do better because someone was helping to focus and engage me. Of course at the time I just wanted him to shut up and I wanted to rip his head off. Mostly I just laboured and birthed with my eyes closed though.
So you just focused yourself -- did you have a mantra or saying that you said to yourself during that time? I am looking for something during pushing that would be inspirational and helpful. (Not to hijack or anything!) TIA

[GinaRae]

I don't remember anything! I know me and I would have repeated something in my head, but I can't remember what.

This time I plan to use visualization and thinking a mantra to myself. I may hang a circle on the wall that's about 10cm so when I am focused, it's on that visual of my cervix being wide open. I've heard a few opening mantras around MDC, or I can make something up on the spot that would probably sound dorky if said aloud.

I don't like being told to push at all and plan this time to wait until the urge to push is there and not just because I was told to push. I had my second son out (a VBAC, so a first vaginal delivery) in less than 7 pushes because of gravity and his head already coming when I had the urge to push. My third son took longer (no urge, strapped to machines and on my back).

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by mothragirl

same here. it hurt and it took a long time, but i survived and i'm excited to do it again. just make drugs not an option in your head and be stubborn. would you put drugs in your body at any other time in your pregnancy?

Same for me to. I didnt see how I could really prepair for the pain since I had no idea how it would be so I just took it one contraction at a time and knew that no matter what I would not take anything for the pain.

For me the only thing that would have gotten me to do medicinal pain managment was if my life or the babies was at risk. I gave myself no other option at all. I had it in my head that there was no such thing. Worked for me 2 drug free births.