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mother's rights  

post #1 of 19
9/8/07 at 3:34pm
Thread Starter 
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this...

My cousin just delivered her baby a couple of days ago and the baby is having to stay overnight at the hospital because of a quick delivery with a mother who tested gbs positive.

She is breastfeeding and wants to stay with the baby, but the hospital has told them there is no where for them to stay. Can she demand that she stay with the baby in order to nurse on demand and avoid bottle/pacifier use with the baby? I would imagine that it is her RIGHT to stay with her newborn, especially since she is a nursing mother!

Thanks-
post #2 of 19
9/8/07 at 3:52pm
No way in hell I'd leave a healthy baby at the hospital. I'd be very clear: I'm staying, or we're both leaving. If it was a quick delivery, transmission is incredibly unlikely. She can observe the baby at home.
post #3 of 19
9/8/07 at 3:53pm
Deleted... I can't put together a coherent sentence...
post #4 of 19
9/8/07 at 4:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by homeschoolmama View Post
She is breastfeeding and wants to stay with the baby, but the hospital has told them there is no where for them to stay. Can she demand that she stay with the baby in order to nurse on demand and avoid bottle/pacifier use with the baby? I would imagine that it is her RIGHT to stay with her newborn, especially since she is a nursing mother!

Thanks-
Is the cousin GBS positive?

This is her child; the hospital does not own the baby. I'd say either she stays or they both leave.
post #5 of 19
9/8/07 at 4:26pm
Is it a matter of JUST her staying? Or is it a matter of her staying with her insurance company paying for it? Or is it a matter of her not able to stay because they don't have a room available for her? Is the baby in the NICU? Because I'm sure that she could stay next to the baby and sleep in a chair next to the baby's crib. Is the baby in the newborn nursery? I'm sure they would allow her to be in a chair next to the baby at all times.

I have a hard time believing the hospital just said, "you can't stay. period." Did deeper to find out *WHY* they are telling her this.

And I agree. If it's just a matter of "you can't stay because we said so" then I'd ask them to discharge the baby and schedule doctors appointments for every single day until they deem the baby ok.

ETA: One of my best friends had a preemie at 25 weeks and she never left his side except to sleep at night for about 6 hours in the Ronald McDonald house two blocks away. They had a chair next to his isolette and she stayed by his side constantly (he was too small to nurse at that point, but the fact remains that she was there almost 24/7 for 3 months).
post #6 of 19
9/8/07 at 4:32pm
Thread Starter 
Yes, the mother is GBS positive. I just found out that the baby's white blood cell count was off, so that is why they are keeping her and that they're giving her antibiotics.

My mom just got ahold of them to tell them they should demand somewhere to stay because she is nursing, but I guess the mother is home now and pumping... It just makes me so mad that they would not offer a nursing mother a place to stay while her newborn infant is in the hospital!
post #7 of 19
9/8/07 at 4:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BCFD View Post
Is it a matter of JUST her staying? Or is it a matter of her staying with her insurance company paying for it? Or is it a matter of her not able to stay because they don't have a room available for her? Is the baby in the NICU? Because I'm sure that she could stay next to the baby and sleep in a chair next to the baby's crib. Is the baby in the newborn nursery? I'm sure they would allow her to be in a chair next to the baby at all times.

I have a hard time believing the hospital just said, "you can't stay. period." Did deeper to find out *WHY* they are telling her this.

And I agree. If it's just a matter of "you can't stay because we said so" then I'd ask them to discharge the baby and schedule doctors appointments for every single day until they deem the baby ok.

ETA: One of my best friends had a preemie at 25 weeks and she never left his side except to sleep at night for about 6 hours in the Ronald McDonald house two blocks away. They had a chair next to his isolette and she stayed by his side constantly (he was too small to nurse at that point, but the fact remains that she was there almost 24/7 for 3 months).
They were told that they don't have any room for them to stay. I don't know all the details, just what I posted above.
post #8 of 19
9/8/07 at 4:50pm
I really don't know the answer, but when my DD was admitted for jaundice at 3 days old, there wasn't even a question. They gave me a room to stay in and my insurance (Blue Cross) covered it. In fact, they "winked" about my DH staying as well in the same room, he had his own bed, they even fed him. But that was definitely not official. But me staying and eating there was definitely official and covered without a hitch.

Should be that way for your cousin. She (or her DP) should pick up the phone and call the insurance company. And if no-one budges, I'd leave (with baby) AMA.
post #9 of 19
9/8/07 at 5:44pm
That is terrible that they would not allow the mother to stay for one night even sitting in a chair next to the baby. I cannot even fathom it. My dd was born two months premature and while there were no beds for moms in the NICU, and I did return home, I was there most of my time, because of nursing/pumping and wanting to be with my NEWBORN. I can't even believe that they don't have a parent's lounge or something.
post #10 of 19
9/8/07 at 7:01pm
They may not have a place for mom to stay, but she can stay with her baby in the nursery. If they choose to not let her stay, she can fight them. (She needs to contact a lawyer. )
post #11 of 19
9/8/07 at 7:02pm
That's insane! Here, if the mother is GBS + and doesn't get enough antibiotics before delivery they keep mom and baby for 48 hours. Its just the norm. My middle dd was given antibiotics for a slightly elevated whiteblood count and no one EVER suggested I even be moved from the post-partum room I was in. And I actually found out later that elevated whiteblood count is NOT a symptom of GBS.
post #12 of 19
9/8/07 at 7:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by captivatedlife View Post
They may not have a place for mom to stay, but she can stay with her baby in the nursery. If they choose to not let her stay, she can fight them. (She needs to contact a lawyer. )
Yep, I agree. I'd get in contact with a lawyer as quickly as possible.
post #13 of 19
9/11/07 at 3:02am
No way, no day would I leave.

My 10 yr old dd was hospitalized when my new baby dd was about 6 wks old. The hospital policy stated that a parent needed to spend the night with their hospitalized child AND also stated that no siblings under the age of 18 were permitted to spend the night.

One nurse suggested I send the baby home with my husband and let him FF her, another suggested my husband (10 yr old dd's step-dad and full-time WOHer) stay at the hospital and I (full-time SAHer) go home with the baby.

I simply stated that I wasn't going anywhere and neither was the baby. We promptly set up her pack n' play in older DD's room, and that was the end of that.

Luckily as the shifts changed, there also seemed to be a change in the mindset of the nursing staff because all of the night nurses oohed and ahed over the baby, and one offered to let me use their electric breast pump when she saw me fumbling with the manual one.

I know the situation is different because this new baby is in the nursery, but Mom needs to hold her ground and refuse to leave.

What are they going to do, bodily remove her? Talk about grounds for a lawsuit.
post #14 of 19
9/11/07 at 10:01am
There are laws stating that insurance companies are required to pay for so many days at the hospital after a birth. If the hospital cannot accommodate both mother and child, I'd request a transfer to the nearest hospital that is equipped and has space available.
post #15 of 19
9/11/07 at 6:23pm
That is completely unacceptable. When my three year old was injured and was hospitalized for nearly two weeks, I was at the hospital with him 24/7 and slept in the fold-out chair next to his bed. I was given meals, too. There's no way I'd leave a newborn who needed to nurse. They'd have to drag me out physically. Then they'd have to answer to my attorney and the media and likely, MDC moms too! Because I'd spend every minute (in between pumping) on the phone and online, to make the biggest, loudest stink the hospital ever saw. A peaceful demonstration outside the hospital, accompanied by reporters sounds about right. But then, I'm a gnarly old so-n-so and she may not be as riled up about it as I would be.
post #16 of 19
9/11/07 at 10:12pm
When my son was admitted to NICU #3 (long story), they told me I had to go home because they couldn't accomodate me. I refused and said I was happy to sleep in a chair - but the issue was more so that they didn't want us AROUND. Obviously, I didn't stand for it - and surprise, surprise, they "remembered" that they had a pumping room all set up with a pull out bed.

Now, the reality is that NICU do not routinely have enough rooms to accomodate all mothers (they should, but don't and frankly, not everyone can stay in the hospital 24/7) - but in my experience, if they have a few, they can easily accomodate the mothers who want/need to stay.

Hopefully baby and mama are safe at home now!

M.
post #17 of 19
9/11/07 at 10:24pm
This angers me beyond belief, but what actually makes me even more angry is when parents fold to this kind of ludicrous crap. I feel so angry that we do not know our rights and we can't stand up for ourselves in these kinds of situations. :
It's your baby for goodness sakes...your baby! I'm just about speechless.
post #18 of 19
9/12/07 at 10:18am
When my dd was 15 months old she was rushed to the hospital in respiratory distress. She spent a few hours in the PICU and I was told that we couldn't sleep in the room (it was an open ICU where there were numerous other babies) so I told the nurse to bring me a pot of coffee b/c I wasn't leaving/sleeping. They tried to tell me that dd was not allowed to nurse but I stood my ground and said that when she wanted to nurse, I would be right there! Once dd tested positive for RSV we were moved to a private room where the nurses were much nicer!! They pulled out beds for hubby and I and offered me a pump in case dd wasn't up to nursing!

DD spent 5 days in the hospital and I never left her side unless hubby was there!
post #19 of 19
9/12/07 at 10:43am
Oh my gosh, that's pure craziness! How can they refuse to allow her to stay with her newborn, especially being this soon after giving birth? I don't understand that at all.

Both of my children have been hospitalized when they were infants and me staying with them was never NOT an option. I was automatically given a bed and meals as well. No question whatsoever. Insurance paid for it.

There is no way in hell would I let them tell me I can't stay with my child.. especially if they were nursing! Someone would have to drag me out of there. Poor mama :
PPs have given lots of good advice. I wish I had something else to add, but I don't =/
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