So I'm hormonal and cranky and this will probably come out a lot harsher than I intend, but better I do it here than IRL causing more drama.
SIL just found out she is pregnant with her 4th (due in May). She has a 5 year old and 3 year old twins, so this would be "good" spacing (whatever that means) if they wanted 4. However, they are in all sorts of financial trouble and this wasn't planned, so there is all this drama playing out. She was on the pill, but that didn't seem to matter, which isn't really all that surprising considering she conceived the twins while on the pill.
I'm all for large families if that's what people want, but that doesn't seem to be the situation here. By the way, when I say financial troubles, I'm not talking about being able to afford designer baby clothes or expensive family vacations; two months ago they almost lost their house to foreclosure. We're talking about being able to provide basic food/shelter needs here.
I know we'll all love this baby when it's here and they'll find a way to cope somehow, but right now it's a crappy situation.
Warning: I'm about to get really petty (see aforementioned "hormonal and cranky"). It's MY turn to have a baby, not hers!
: I was already worried about the distance between us and DH's parents. She lives in the same town as the ILs, so they see the kids all the time. I know they'll be great with our baby, but it will take more effort simply because we're 2 hours away and now I feel like she's cutting into "our" time because she'll need a lot of extra help.
It's really a stupid thing to be angry about and the rational part of my brain knows this, but the rational part of my brain stopped being in control a few trimesters ago. I know unplanned pregnancies happen, but how do you rely on the pill when you know it already failed you?? Her doctor said she is just the most fertile patient he has seen, but that's a load of BS. If you know you absolutely, positively cannot handle another child, why take that risk?
The worst part is everybody in our family thought, even if only for a split second, that this might not have been an accident. The first time the pill failed and she got pregnant with the twins, everybody around her was pregnant (friends, cousins, etc.). The same thing happened this time. Many of her friends and coworkers are pregnant and well, obviously I am too.
I feel bad because the ILs can't be excited for her because they're so worried. I feel bad because she is so upset over all of this that she can't enjoy her pregnancy and I feel bad because I should be happy to have a new niece/nephew and all I have is petty jealousy right now.
Thanks for letting me vent. I had to get that out of my system so I can be supportive.
SIL just found out she is pregnant with her 4th (due in May). She has a 5 year old and 3 year old twins, so this would be "good" spacing (whatever that means) if they wanted 4. However, they are in all sorts of financial trouble and this wasn't planned, so there is all this drama playing out. She was on the pill, but that didn't seem to matter, which isn't really all that surprising considering she conceived the twins while on the pill.
I'm all for large families if that's what people want, but that doesn't seem to be the situation here. By the way, when I say financial troubles, I'm not talking about being able to afford designer baby clothes or expensive family vacations; two months ago they almost lost their house to foreclosure. We're talking about being able to provide basic food/shelter needs here.
I know we'll all love this baby when it's here and they'll find a way to cope somehow, but right now it's a crappy situation.
Warning: I'm about to get really petty (see aforementioned "hormonal and cranky"). It's MY turn to have a baby, not hers!
: I was already worried about the distance between us and DH's parents. She lives in the same town as the ILs, so they see the kids all the time. I know they'll be great with our baby, but it will take more effort simply because we're 2 hours away and now I feel like she's cutting into "our" time because she'll need a lot of extra help.It's really a stupid thing to be angry about and the rational part of my brain knows this, but the rational part of my brain stopped being in control a few trimesters ago. I know unplanned pregnancies happen, but how do you rely on the pill when you know it already failed you?? Her doctor said she is just the most fertile patient he has seen, but that's a load of BS. If you know you absolutely, positively cannot handle another child, why take that risk?
The worst part is everybody in our family thought, even if only for a split second, that this might not have been an accident. The first time the pill failed and she got pregnant with the twins, everybody around her was pregnant (friends, cousins, etc.). The same thing happened this time. Many of her friends and coworkers are pregnant and well, obviously I am too.
I feel bad because the ILs can't be excited for her because they're so worried. I feel bad because she is so upset over all of this that she can't enjoy her pregnancy and I feel bad because I should be happy to have a new niece/nephew and all I have is petty jealousy right now.
Thanks for letting me vent. I had to get that out of my system so I can be supportive.
and once the all babies are born, nobody will think about under which circumstances they were made, kwim?
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Pm me if you want to chat, mama.
)
