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Originally Posted by fiatslug  I'm barely pregnant with #2--DD will be 17 months old when her sibling comes. We BF, co-sleep, practice AP, etc--I WOHM f/t, Daddy is the SAHP. I will likely be having a hospital birth  : near our home. Grandparents will be around to help out. |
Honestly, I think it's much easier when you birth at home. The mother and baby are in the toddler's environment and the toddler's not taking in all the stimulation of a very foreign (we hope) environment... the smells, the people, the lights. I think it's much easier when they have the comfort of home and people they already know and trust around them.
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| What, if possible, can a 17 month old understand about birth? |
When taught their understanding is very rudimentary. They can know which animals have live births and which lay eggs and such. I think it takes a little education about what is normal for birth and then the rest is the toddler's just accepting things as they come. Since so much more is new to them, I think they are far more adaptable in this regard than the average adult.
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Would it freak her out to see me in contractions? I get very animal and focused during contractions (who doesn't  ), and I don't know if this would upset her. |
I suppose it depends on the child. I think it would help to "play birth" with her. You can talk about noises and position and such, each stuff a plush toy under your shirt, and then act it out each eventually birthing their plush toy. Make faces women sometimes make during labor, moan, shift positions. I think seeing the actual birth as something familiar will help her take it in stride.
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But I do want her to feel like she's a part of things--maybe not in the room when the baby is born, but soon after, when I'm cleaned up (ie, not bloody) and I can hold and maybe nurse them both together. And co-sleep that night.  :
How did this work for you? |
Not to diss your birth but please remember it is far more important to you than it will ever be to your toddler. Don't be disappointed if your toddler talks about it as the time you had a pool in your bedroom and fails to mention the baby. After some time the baby will be a normal part of your lives and his/her entrance won't seem so remarkable... a pool in the bedroom is another thing entirely!
Sleeping together and nursing together is good. Just don't be surprised if your toddler has a strong suck, it might be an uncomfortable sensation nursing a toddler and newborn at the same time. It might work out right away, might after a few weeks or months, or you might normally just have to nurse them in succession.
~BV
