"Well, the baby will HAVE to be born by then"

[GinaRae]

How utterly dumb is this statement?! It blows me away.

My mother just booked her flight for Nov 15th thru Dec 5th. I asked her if she realized she might miss the birth. Then I get the "Well, you're due on the 23rd. The baby will definitely come by the 5th."

Not really. I am due on the 30th but apparently she doesn't believe me. And even IF it were the 23rd, the baby COULD be born after the 5th of Decemeber.

i mean, WHO KNOWS, baby could come November 2nd for all I know! But I have this feeling that she still feels I am going to risk out of the homebirth and end up induced or with a c/s. She has no faith in me here and it makes me SO angry.

Not that I can SAY that to her. She would never ever fess up to that.

What is really bizarre is that for my entire 31 years I have been told I was a month overdue when I was born. So she should expect babies to be overdue! However, once I brought that up during this pregnancy, she was trying to convince me I was too fat to homebirth and she changed her story! She now says her dates must have been off and it was GD (I was almost 12 pounds).

Grrrrr....

I actually hope I go on November 10th so that she isn't here before or during the birth. I just don't need her stress and filling my every moment of every day before the birth with her pushing me to give birth already, you know?

And we've talked about this before - I think she will try to get the boys out of here for the birth. She says she will leave for my friend's house because she wants nothing to do with a homebirth and she will want to take the kids with her. Not to mention I don't want that friend to know I am in labor because she will want to show up and I don't want her here either!

[Valerieg]

ARGH! You're just getting it from all angles lately. I've yet to figure out why people think babies HAVE to be born by a certain time.

My friend was induced on Friday because she was uncomfortable, today is her EDD. She was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced (good...for an induction) but when I told a friend she said...it was GOOD that she was induced because she had been "stuck" dilated so long. : I wish people didn't find out. Really I do. There are so many people that are so oblivious.

But wow, you were 12 lbs?!

[De-lovely]

Some people are seriously clueless....its just a shame that sometimes its those who are closest to us.....I havent even spoken to my bio father since Fathers Day when he called my kids brats and I am unsure if he will be there at the hospital to welcome Cora. : : Whatever....hugs to you mama.....big big hugs.

[AKmomof2+1inNov]

Oh Gina, aren't mom's great! Surprisingly my mom isn't giving me crap about a home birth, but the other comments she makes!!!!

My mom comes for a month...but still only got a little time with my first. The second, I didn't have her come until the Allie was 2 weeks old or a month after my due date. Now I'm stressing that she'll be here too soon again this time. She's coming Oct 24-Nov 30, but at least she'll have the other kids to keep her busy if I'm 12 days later again. My 40 weeks is up 11/1, I just can't call it an EDD.

Should I e-mail you pictures of my plus size homebirth??...would that help you mom?? (that is if you don't deliver before me!!!)

[scheelimama]

Well, you've warned her, if she misses it, it's her own fault, right? It's really stressful to have someone come stay with you for the birth and then go overdue. And I think the stress of waiting for the baby (so they don't miss it) makes it even harder for your body to go into labor. DH and I just talked about this today. My parents came to visit us the whole week after my due date with dd1, but she didn't come until hours before they had to leave to go back (and that was only because we forced her to come out, she would have been happy to bake awhile longer). It was the most stressful week and we don't want to feel like that during dh's leave. So, he's waiting to come back until 3-4 days before my due date. He'll be here for 18 days and we know that I'll have to be induced by the end of that time (birth center policy, I can't go over 2 weeks past EDD), so he won't miss meeting his new baby girl. Might miss the birth on the other end, but we'd both prefer that to the stress of waiting for her to come and praying he didn't miss it altogether.

[TulikaEma]

Maybe our moms are related...
Mine told me early in the pregnancy that she hopes I have a preemie because "tiny little babies are so cute"-- I said 'I hope the baby comes when its ready--I'm hoping for healthy, and don't care about cute'. Guess she did not get the hint because she keeps asking if she can buy and mail me preemie clothes just in case.
Then she started in on how her pelvis was too small to birth me (allthough I was, in the end, a vaginal delivery) and since I am smaller than her, she's sure I'm way too small. Every week she asks me if I have been measured to see if I am big enough to deliver (despite my nicely explaining to her how the baby is still growing, and my pelvic ligaments are still loosening, and squating widens things etc.--so a measurement now would mean nothing). What I really want to tell her is that since I did emerge her pelvis was clearly big enough--as are those of the vast majority of women, and that I'm sure everything will be fine.
Her most recent thing is telling me that my baby will come at least two weeks early--she called today and the first thing she said was, 'are you in labor yet?' (I am 32/33 weeks, and have not even had a BH contraction, not to mention any actual sign of impendeding labor).
On top of all of that, she constantly asks if I'm sure I want her to wait until after the birth to visit (she lives cross country and thinks she can only make time to visit me once a year--I have told her 8 weeks, feels mean, but its the time I need). Yeah, every time we talk she tells me she hopes for a preemie and that I can not push a normal size baby out. Um...no, there's no way I'd want her there for the birth. I love her dearly, but only want people who will SUPPORT me to be around.

Just for the record, I'm really not worried about any of her claims about birth--I think she's pretty clueless, and I'm sure that after I've finished with all my pregnancies I will find the whole thing funny--right now, they just annoy me.

And--sorry to highjack your thread, GinaRae, I guess what I am trying to say is that your not alone in having a mom who says dumb/ upsetting things!

[*GreenMama*]

Duuuuh. As if babies aren't late.... Just Duuuuuuuuuh.

[mittendrin]

O holy crap, I cannot believe some of the things I read here. How on earth do you ladies put up with it? Gosh, I think I would move into a mountain cave and stay there til the kids need to go to school...
I am so thankful sometimes that all of mine and dh's relatives are either too far away or could care less about us and our choices. Makes for lonely Thanksgivings and Christmas but geee, 99% of the time soooo nice to be able to make decisions without having a MIL or anyone else raising eyebrows!

[Googy]

Ugh! You really are getting it on all sides right now, aren't you? She probably thinks that everyone gives birth by their due date, since most women will induce by their due dates if they haven't gone into labor yet...:

[melissakc]

Bleh! You poor ladies dealing with such awful comments from your own mothers. Bleh! Seriously, make sure you go through some positive self-talk every day. Those kinds of comments have a way of seeping into your brain and you've got to get them out! (Every night before bed I try to visualize a healthy, full-term baby and a happy birth where no one takes the baby away.)

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by Valerieg

But wow, you were 12 lbs?!

Yup!

I was 11 pounds 14.5 ounces, so less than 2 ounces away from 12 pounds. I was a big baby, delivered vaginally, had shoulder dystocia (and now Erbs Palsy from the doctor breaking my brachioplexus nerve during delivery) and I had black eye(s?) and bruises from the forceps or whatever the heck they did to me during birth. Everyone had to visit the nursery (strangers too) to visit the "elephant baby" which I believe is what my dad coined for me after birth. Sweet, huh? Grrr

After birth I fell asleep and didn't wake up until I got skinny

My brother was over 9 pounds and I have cousins who were 9-11 pounds. Runs in the family I guess!

My 3 kids, all born 3 weeks or so early) would have been around 9+ pounds if full term.

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by AKmomof2+1inNov

Should I e-mail you pictures of my plus size homebirth??...would that help you mom?? (that is if you don't deliver before me!!!)

To heck with mom, I would love to see pics! I eat them up. There's a plus size MDC mom with a video on YouTube that I watched a couple of times.

Originally Posted by Googy

Ugh! You really are getting it on all sides right now, aren't you? She probably thinks that everyone gives birth by their due date, since most women will induce by their due dates if they haven't gone into labor yet...:

It doesn't help that my bro was delivered on his due date, huh?

Originally Posted by melissakc

Bleh! You poor ladies dealing with such awful comments from your own mothers. Bleh! Seriously, make sure you go through some positive self-talk every day. Those kinds of comments have a way of seeping into your brain and you've got to get them out! (Every night before bed I try to visualize a healthy, full-term baby and a happy birth where no one takes the baby away.)

That's good advice too. She did plant some fear in me early on when she was visiting around my 4th-7th week. I need to gear up and be ready for her visit.

I was hoping I could talk her into waiting, but she got the tix today. Bummer!

I do love my mother and things could be a lot worse. But man she makes it hard sometimes.

[GooeyRN]

My mom wants me to schedule a C-Section so she can put in for time off of work to visit and not have to call off. (she is also a nurse, but a psych nurse) Besides, C-Sections are safer. :

[Mama Bear]

ugh! some people
to you mamas dealing with this baloney

My ds1 went 9 days past his EDD. We had family (well, dh's family) in town for almost 2 weeks prior b/c they planned to come for my due date, though we warned them it was unlikely he's be born then. I started showing signs of prelabor, dialating, etc... then when the IL's showed up its like everything stalled for a week. It was tense with all these people around basically waiting for me to go into labor. My dh and his mom got into a 'discussion' about something and she got all pissy and left and stayed at a local hotel. 2 days later I went into labor

[GinaRae]

So the baby might stay in there to bake extra long then!

Hopefully I am not as stressed out as it seems I should be so babe comes when it's ready. I don't want an extra large baby just to make it a bit harder on me, you know?

I'd like to have a decent labor and delivery so I can shove it in her... I mean *ahem* because the babe and I deserve a nice, peaceful labor and delivery.

[octobermom]

I remember talking with DH about how I'd reach him in the event I went into labor and he was at work (we don't own cell phones) and he started telling me well it will be best if you went into labor on Tuesday betwwen 8am and 1pm or ridays after 3pm . I was like sorry hney love you and will move mountains to please you but my hands are tied on this issue. .. He did feel pretty silly at this point..
But me aiming to please had her two weeks early on a Saturday

[sorteep]

wowwwwww, why is she coming at all if she feels like this ?? yikes... I say but her to work really hard, shopping, cooking and cleaning and running errands and CROSS your legs until the 5th!! hehehe.. I know, That;s mean but it could work..

[Momma Aimee]

just last ngiht DH was telling me when it would be optiomal for the baby to come -- re hunting seasons opening -- but he was KIDDING though he did comment i got Theo's birth just right and he is just hasppy to have paternity leave during hunting season at all

When teh baby was breech my mom tried to make me feel better by telling me with a schudled CS she would be able to be here to take care of Theo beofre anything happneded -- no rushing around taking him to T's to wait for mom to drive up and so on .... she meant well. knowing my worries about taking care of Theodore .... so kinda the "lookon the happy side" ( though,. not, after talking to OB more, i think he'd be willing to attempt a vaginal birth depending on presentation of baby)....

Gina -- I am sorry you are faceing so much life stress right now

Aimee

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by sorteep

I say but her to work really hard, shopping, cooking and cleaning and running errands and CROSS your legs until the 5th!! hehehe.. I know, That;s mean but it could work..

Exactly what I was going to suggest. Work her to the bone while she's there and hope the baby comes right after she leaves.

My mother's presence stalled out my labor with ds and he wasn't born until a week later. Stress will do amazing things to your body.

[LittleLlama]

I wouldn't even mind my mom being there for the birth, but as far as usefulness, I'm telling her to plan on coming a good couple weeks after the due date so I can have her help clean and put my head back together when I really need it